


Before

by Dustydustywind



Category: Cheff RPF, Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: AU, Cheff, College, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-20
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2017-12-12 11:05:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 43,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/810873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dustydustywind/pseuds/Dustydustywind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeff and Chip are just starting college. The best friends will suddenly be living away from each other for the first time since elementary school. The distance tests their friendship, and new unexpected feelings to arise in the process. (cross posted to tumblr)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Can you believe we’re actually going to college tomorrow?” Jeff sighed, absentmindedly ripping up pieces of grass from where he was sitting crossed legged against the trunk of a large tree.

He and Chip were in a hidden corner of the park they had claimed to be “theirs” since they were only twelve years old. It had always been their place to meet, hang out, talk…even if there was something wrong with one of them; the other knew they’d always find them there.

No one else –as far as they knew, knew about that place and Jeff and Chip liked it that way.

“It’s crazy…” Chip agreed. He was lying down on the small stretch of grass, staring up at the evening sky with his head resting on his back pack. There was nothing in it, but he always brought it along to use as a pillow. It always made Jeff laugh.

They had been best friends for as long as they could remember, and they spent nearly every waking moment in each other’s presence. If they ever fought, it would always be resolved quickly, mainly due to the fact that they didn’t enjoy  _not_  talking to each other for any long period of time.  Best friends probably didn’t even describe how close they actually were. They may as well have been attached at the hip.

“I’m gonna miss ya man…” Jeff smiled sadly down at Chip, who looked at him with a matching expression. “Can’t believe I’m not gonna see you every day…”

This was the only problem with them moving out of home and going to college. They were going to different universities, and although they weren’t  _too_  far away from each other, - a couple of hours drive at most - they still weren’t going to see each other that often.

“It’s gonna be so weird…” Chip sighed. “What are we gonna do?” he asked.

“Talk on the phone I guess…” Jeff shrugged. “But that’s shitty…”

“It’s pretty shitty.” Chip agreed. “But at least we have the holidays…and we can visit each other I guess. I’ll have to come and check up on you,” he teased.

Jeff chuckled and threw a handful of grass at Chip, who flinched away from it, laughing.

They were both feeling very nostalgic, and had spent the majority of the evening recalling all their best memories and teasing each other like they did best.

“She wasn’t that bad!” Chip whined, but couldn’t help but smile at Jeff’s laughter.

“Dude…she was the  _worst._ So annoying…” Jeff chuckled. “Can’t believe you went out with her.”

He was referring of course to Chip’s first girlfriend when they were 14. Jeff didn’t get on with her one bit, and he had made it known.

“Hey, those three weeks meant a lot to me…” Chip tried to say seriously, but ended up in a fit of giggles. “And you can’t talk! Remember Casey? Ugh…” Chip purposely scrunched up his face in disgust.

“What was wrong with her?” Jeff asked defensively, trying to hide his smirk.

“You mean what was  _right_  with her…” Chip rolled his eyes. “She was so… _slutty_ …”

“Your point…?” Jeff smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Jeff ew!” Chip laughed, but was well used to him at this stage. They both continued laughing before Jeff stopped, realising something.

“Do you realise that we have  _never_  liked each other’s girlfriends…?” Jeff pointed out. “Like… _ever_?”

Chip wiped his eyes as he recovered from his laughing fit, and sat up to face Jeff properly, placing his hands behind him to prop him up.

“Huh…” he thought. “I guess you’re right.” He agreed. “But that’s cause no one is good enough for my best friend,” he winked.

Jeff chuckled and then threw a small stick at Chip, who caught it. “Yeah…you’re right…I don’t see the point of going out with a girl if you don’t like her. I mean…you’ll always come first…so if you can’t hang out with a girl I’m dating then…” Jeff put up his hand and made a ‘thumbs down’ motion.

“Agreed,” Chip grinned. “Bro’s before hoes…” he winked.

Jeff rolled his eyes. “You did not just say that…”

“What? It’s true…” Chip pouted.

“You’re so lame!” Jeff laughed.

Chip gasped in mock surprise. “Well if I’m lame what does that make you?” he threw back, grinning cheekily.

“Awesome. Obviously.” Jeff nodded smugly.

“Yeah…awesomely  _lame_ …” Chip smirked. Jeff cocked an eyebrow and before Chip knew what he was doing he launched himself at Chip and wrestled him to the ground until he was lying on top of him.

“Who’s lame now?!” Jeff asked, pinning Chip down with his weight and laughing as Chip struggled.

“Jeff get off me!” he exclaimed, but couldn’t stop himself from laughing too.

“Not until you say I’m awesome!”

“No way!”

“Chip…” Jeff warned, grinning mischievously. “I think I recall how much you like to be tickled…”

“No! Don’t!” Chip laughed, trying to protect himself from Jeff’s hands. “You’re awesome okay!” he giggled as Jeff finally smirked and rolled off him to lie beside him and looking up at the clouds.

“That’s better.” He smirked, putting his hands behind his head. Chip chuckled and mimicked Jeff’s movements and they both sighed.

“You think we can just… _not_  go tomorrow…” Chip wondered aloud after a moment’s silence.

“Are you not looking forward to it?” Jeff asked in surprise, turning his head to look at Chip. “Moving out man…living by ourselves…doing whatever we want…it’s going to be the best!” he exclaimed, his gums showing he was grinning so wide.

“Yeah…No I  _am_  excited, I can’t wait…” Chip smiled back. “But…I just always thought we’d live together when we moved out, ya know?. Like we said when we were 15, do you remember?” he turned his head towards Jeff too.

Jeff smiled at the memory. He and Chip were always making plans like that when they were younger, and he just wished they could all come true.

“Yeah…didn’t we want to live in a penthouse in New York?” he laughed.

“With thirteen butlers, yeah…” Chip giggled. “Realistic, weren’t we?”

“Very…” Jeff chuckled. “How awesome would it be if we had got into the same schools though. We could have been roommates…I mean, what if I don’t like mine?” he asked, suddenly getting worried.

“I’m sure it will be fine Jeff,” Chip reassured him, but having the same concerns about himself. “Hey, I’ll always be at the other end of the phone anyway, I promise.” he smiled.

“Same goes for me. No matter what.” Jeff smiled back, then sighed and looked back up at the sky.

“Do you think this will change us? Ya know…college?” He queried. Chip shrugged, and looked up too.

“Dunno. Maybe. But we’ll still always be friends, right?” he asked seriously, looking at Jeff again.

“Yeah of course. It’s me and you man.” Jeff quipped a smile.

A while later it was getting dark, and the two decided it was getting late and they had better head home. They stood up and brushed themselves off and started walking towards the park exit.

“So…I’ll see you soon I guess,” Chip said, pressing his lips together nervously.

“Yeah…really soon…” Jeff agreed sadly.

“This sucks.” Chip pouted, shuffling his feet. Jeff nodded. It did suck.

“I didn’t think it would be this hard…leaving you tonight and stuff…” he said awkwardly.

“Me neither…” Chip sighed.

The two embraced tightly, suddenly unwilling to let each other go. Jeff spotted a group of younger boys snickering at them but he just flipped them off over Chip’s shoulder and continued to hug his best friend.

After a while, they pulled apart.

“Call me when you get there?” Chip asked, half smiling.

“Promise.” Jeff smiled and patted Chip on the back.

“Well…see ya,” Chip nodded.

“Bye…” Jeff smiled sadly and they both waved awkwardly to each other before turning away and walking home.

Neither had expected their goodbye to be so hard. They knew it had been coming, but as both walked towards their houses, they couldn’t help but already feel like a piece of them was missing. This was going to be a lot harder than they thought. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chip paced his dorm room waiting for his phone to ring. He was glad his roommate was out, it meant that he and Jeff could talk in peace without being disturbed.

It had been a whole month since the two moved away from home, and they hadn’t seen each other since. They both missed each other so much, and it was made worse by the fact they rarely got to talk. They both had such hectic schedules, the odd email or a quick five minute phone call was all they’d really had time for.

It was Jeff who insisted they talked properly that night. He had sent Chip a very persistent email telling him under no circumstances could they go another day without a decent length phone call. It had made Chip smile and he had agreed straight away. He made sure he had nothing planned, and that he was back in his dorm room with plenty of time to spare in case Jeff called early. He was actually really excited to talk to his best friend, he hated the distance between them, and although he knew it was no one’s fault, he still wasn’t remotely happy about it.

Even though he had been expecting it, he still jumped out of his skin when his phone rang. He grinned widely and grabbed it, answering it immediately as he fell back onto his bed.

“Hey!” he exclaimed into the receiver.

“Hey Chip!” Jeff sounded just as happy as he was. “How are you?”

“Really good…how about you?”

“Great! God…I miss you man, I hate not talking to you every day…” Jeff sighed. Chip’s smiled faded as he felt his stomach contract uneasily. He knew exactly what Jeff was talking about.

“Me too…” he agreed. “But we have now! I wanna hear about _everything.”_ he smiled, delighted to be talking to his best friend again. “How’s that roommate of yours? Is he still being a jerk?” Chip asked. Jeff had told him in an email that his roommate was a complete asshole who never did any work and just sat around all day smoking weed. Jeff said he wouldn’t have minded so much if he shared, but he didn’t, and apparently was just a dick in general anyway.

“No! He got kicked out!” Jeff laughed. “Did I not tell you? Yeah someone reported him or something and when I got home from classes one day he was gone…all his stuff too.” He chuckled. “Delighted to see the back of him to be honest.”

Chip giggled at Jeff’s glee- he had missed how excited his friend got over little things.

“So do you have the room to yourself now?” Chip asked, curious and slightly jealous if that was the case – what he’d do to have a room to himself – his roommate wasn’t exactly a cup of tea either.

“Nah, a new guy moved in, Dave.” Jeff explained. “But he’s really cool, I think you’d like him!” Jeff said excitedly. “He’s gay…so less competition for me with the ladies,” Jeff smirked. 

Chip rolled his eyes but chuckled. “Jeff you  _never_ have any competition when it comes to girls. They all practically fall at your feet.” Chip pointed out.

“What can I say…” Jeff said smugly making the two laugh. “But how’s your roommate…what’s his name again?”

“Ugh…Bryan…” Chip said exasperatedly rolling his eyes even though no one could see him. “He’s such a suck up. Everything he does has to be done perfectly, and he’s always just judging me if I do something different than him…I mean he does assignments like three weeks before they’re even due!” Chip groaned.

“Seriously? Who does that?” Jeff said in surprise.

“Exactly…I mean I came in a  _little_  drunk the other night and he started lecturing me about how I had a 9am class…ugh…such a douche…it’s none of his god damn business.” Chip whined.

“Yeah…but did you go to that nine am class…?” Jeff smirked, giggling.

“No…but that’s not the point…” Chip chuckled.

“Tut tut Chippy…” Jeff teased.

“Oh so I suppose you make it to  _all_ your classes then?” Chip smirked.

“I may have missed one or two due to a  _slight_  hangover, yes…” Jeff grinned.

“One or two my ass…” Chip chuckled, but then sighed. It really hit him how much he missed joking around with Jeff once he was actually talking to him.

“Man I miss this…so many things happen and I just wanna tell you about them ya know? But then it’s still not the same when I do. I just wish you were  _here_.” Chip moaned, staring at his ceiling.

“I know that feeling man,” Jeff nodded to himself, completely understanding. “When something good happens the first thing I think of is ‘Oh Chip would love this!’. It’s just weird not seeing you.” He sighed.

“Tell me about it…” Chip agreed, but then smiled. “You know I got a couple of days off next week?”

“You do?!” Jeff said excitedly, hoping Chip was implying what he thought he was.

“I do…” Chip smirked. “What do you say to me driving up for a visit? Would you have me?” he grinned.

“Would I  _what?”_  Jeff asked in exasperation, a wide smile spreading across his face. “Hell yeah! Are you serious?”

“Yeah I’m serious! I can stay for the weekend too, if you want!” Chip exclaimed, excitement bubbling in his stomach.

“Yes I want!” Jeff all but squealed. “Oh my god…Chip I can’t wait this is incredible! I can show you around…we can hang out…god this will be so good!” he sounded like a child on Christmas morning and it couldn’t have made Chip happier. There had always been a little niggle in the back of his mind that him and Jeff might drift apart when they went off to college, but hearing how excited Jeff was meant that that wasn’t the case at all.

“I can’t wait either…” Chip grinned, practically bouncing up and down on his bed. “Want me to bring anything?” he asked.

“Hmmm…” Jeff thought aloud. “Alcohol and condoms. “ Chip burst out laughing as Jeff continued. “You still have that fake ID right?”

“Yeah I do…” Chip chuckled. “Do you not have yours?”

“Lost it…” Jeff pouted. “But the girl who works in the liquor store has a thing for me…” He smirked. “So I get by just fine.” He grinned.

Chip chuckled and shook his head to himself. “Of  _course_ she does.” He laughed. “And get your own damn condoms by the way!” he laughed.

“Some friend you are…” Jeff pouted, but he was only teasing. “Speaking of…” he said mischievously. “You using those good looks of yours to get some college girls?” Jeff asked cheekily.

Chip laughed – he had been waiting for Jeff to ask that. “A few…” he smirked to himself. “Kinda seeing a girl right now…we just started dating…” he said almost shyly.

“Oh?” Jeff seemed surprised.

“Yeah…Lauren…she’s pretty cool. I think you’d like her.” Chip shrugged to himself. “And before you ask, yes, she’s hot.” He chuckled. 

“Huh…cool, can’t wait to meet her I guess.” Jeff said, quieter than usual.

“What’s wrong?” Chip asked, frowning.

“Nothin’”

“Jeff…”

“I dunno…” Jeff sighed. “I just can’t believe you’re giving up being single already! I mean we  _just_ got to college.” He pouted, almost childishly. “All the girls man…you gotta take advantage of this!”

“I know…I know…” Chip sighed. He thought Jeff might have this reaction. “It’s not like I planned it! She’s awesome Jeff, seriously. And it’s not like it’s anything serious…we only met last week.”

“Yeah okay…well you can tell me all about her when you get here next week!” Jeff smiled again, thinking about seeing his best friend again so soon. “I’m happy for you, seriously.” He said genuinely.

“Thanks…” Chip grinned. “And don’t think I don’t wanna hear about all your… _conquests_ …” he chuckled. He imagined Jeff had quite a few stories, and he couldn’t wait to hear them.

“Oh you’ll need a few beers before I even  _begin_  to tell you…” Jeff started, chuckling. “There was this one girl right…”

It was then that Chip’s roommate decided to come back, immediately glaring at Chip who had left some of his books on the ground beside his bed. Chip rolled his eyes.

“Uh Jeff…raincheck on that story? I gotta go…” he said quietly, eyeing his roommate carefully.

“Wha…why?” Jeff said, clearly disappointed as he was about to launch into a dramatic retelling.

“Eh…”

“Oh,” Jeff chuckled, catching on. “Douchey roommate got back?”

“Got it in one.” Chip laughed. “I’ll email you about next week?”

“Can’t wait man,” Jeff smiled.

“Me too. Bye Jeff.”

“Bye !”

Jeff hung up, beaming to himself. Next week couldn’t come fast enough.


	3. Chapter 3

Chip wondered through the halls of an unfamiliar dorm with a huge smile on his face. He knew he was moments away from seeing his best friend, and he could barely contain himself. He was an hour earlier than he had originally planned, but he wanted to surprise Jeff.

Coming to a halt in the corridor where he could either turn left or right, he frowned as he looked both ways, then down at the piece of paper he was carrying where he had wrote down the directions Jeff gave him. He sighed.

Jeff was never good at giving directions.

He spotted two girls a little way down one of the corridors and decided to ask them if they knew which room was Jeff’s.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” he began, smiling kindly and readjusting the duffel bag on his back. “Do either of you know Jeff Davis? I’m staying with him and I can’t find his room…”

“Who are you?” one of the girls smiled. “I know Jeff, but eh, Kate knows him better,” she giggled, nudging her friend making the other girl blushed wildly.

“Michelle, shut up!” she squealed, but seemed to smile smugly all the same.

Chip couldn’t help smirk at that. Jeff had obviously made quite the impression already, although he wasn’t that surprised.

“I’m Chip…Jeff’s friend.” He said, smiling at them.

“Oh  _you’re_  Chip…” Michelle grinned, batting her eyelashes at him. “Jeff’s talked about you…” she beamed. “He never said how good looking you were though,” She winked.

Chip chuckled throatily and felt his face flush.

“Are you staying long?” Kate beamed, biting her lip and flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“Couple of days…” Chip muttered, feeling slightly uncomfortable, but also secretly enjoying the attention.

“Jeff’s room is just down there, second on the right,” Michelle continued, pointing back in the opposite direction. “But eh, our room is here…you should remember that,” She grinned, flashing a winning smile at him.

Chip nodded, raising his eyebrows and pursing his lips.

“I’ll eh…I’ll remember that,” he creased his brow slightly. “Thanks girls…” he smiled slightly and turned on his heel and walked to where Michelle told him to go.

Reaching Jeff’s door, he suddenly felt nervous, biting his lip as he brought his hand up to knock. It took him a moment, and before he could do anything he took a deep breath. Why was he so nervous? It was probably just because he hadn’t seen Jeff in so long. It was excitement, rather than nerves, or that’s what he told himself.

Once he built up the courage to knock, it only took Jeff a few seconds to open the door, and Chip could hear him speaking to someone even before he did.

“Yeah, he’ll be here in like an hour, I can’t wait for you…” Jeff trailed off as he opened the door and spot his best friend. His eyes widened to saucers and he all but shouted in delight.

“Chip! Oh my god you’re here!” he exclaimed, practically attacking him with a hug and wrapping his arms around him, Chip’s backpack getting in the way slightly, but he didn’t care. Chip hugged him back just as tight, the familiar smell of Jeff’s cologne filling his nostrils for the first time in ages.

“God is it good to see you…” Jeff murmured as they pulled away. Chip looked Jeff up and down and took in every inch of him. Jeff stood with his hands still on Chip’s shoulder, apparently doing the same to Chip.

“That’s some sexy stubble you got going on man!” he teased, tickling under Chip’s chin before grabbing his bag from him. “Come in!”

Chip beamed and walked by his friend and into the dorm room.

“Hey Jeff!” the two girls called from down the hall, waving energetically. Jeff did a double take and took a step back out the door to see who called him.

“Hey ladies!” he called back.

“Are you going to Johnny’s party tonight?” Kate asked.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he winked and before the girls could reply he dipped back inside the room and closed the door.

Chip smirked at him knowingly as Jeff threw his bag on his bed.

“What?” Jeff asked, acting innocent.

“You know what.” Chip chuckled. “God I missed you man,” he said, pulling Jeff in for another hug, who happily returned it.

“Don’t mind me, I’ll just sit here at watch two handsome men hugging. Nothing I’m not used to. ”

Jeff laughed and Chip pulled away, only just realising someone else was in the room.

“Save that for your own time,” Jeff teased, throwing a cushion at his roommate who was sitting on his own bed.

“Oh, hi!” Chip exclaimed, smiling. “You must be…” he scrunched up his face trying to remember the name Jeff told him.

“Dave,” he smiled, climbing off his bed to shake Chip’s hand.

“Nice to meet you I’m Chip! I hope you don’t mind me crashing here the next few days?” Chip asked, suddenly aware of how small the room was.

“Not at all! I mean geez, I already feel like I’ve known you for years, this one doesn’t shut up about you.” He nudged Jeff, who flushed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Doesn’t shut up about me, huh?” Chip smirked, throwing Jeff a cocky glance.

“Oh shut up both of you…” Jeff muttered, but Chip knew he was only feigning annoyance.

Dave chuckled and went to grab his backpack,

“Well I gotta go meet the girls, I’ll leave you two to catch up!” he grinned.

“Bring the girls back  _here._ ” Jeff smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at Dave.

“Not a chance. I’m not letting you anywhere near them!” Dave laughed.

“You’re just afraid they’ll fall for me,” Jeff smirked, teasing his roommate.

“Oh I can guarantee they’d fall for you,” he chuckled. “Which is exactly why I’m not bringing them here.” He laughed at Jeff’s pout, before leaving the room, the others two calling out goodbye.

Jeff and Chip beamed at each other, both delighted to finally be reunited.

“This is going to be the best!” Jeff exclaimed, falling back onto his bed and propping himself against the pillows. Chip copied him and sat crossed legged against the wall beside Jeff’s bed. “There’s a party tonight across campus, but we don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” Jeff grinned. In all honesty, he didn’t care what they did, he was just so thrilled to have Chip here. He wouldn’t even mind if they didn’t leave his room for the next few days. Once he was with Chip, he’d be happy.

“Nah, that sounds like fun!” Chip grinned, suddenly feeling giddy. “I brought a sleeping bag, so I can just sleep on the floor or something,” he informed Jeff.

“What? No. Don’t be stupid you’re my guest I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“Jeff I’m not kicking you out of your own bed!” Chip laughed. “I brought a sleeping bag for a reason you know…” he chuckled.

Jeff frowned, thinking for a second. “How about we both sleep in my bed? Head to toe like we did when we were younger,” he grinned, giggling at the memory.

Chip laughed and rubbed a hand over his face.

“Oh god do you remember that?” he chuckled. “Your big feet used to nearly poke my eyes out…”

Jeff scowled, hitting Chip with a pillow. “Yeah well your feet smelled.” He stuck his tongue out childishly.

Chip grabbed the pillow quickly and hit Jeff just as hard with it, the two laughing loudly.

“Even still…I think we’ve gotten a bit big for that now.” He chuckled.

“True,” Jeff agreed. “Well let’s just hope we get drunk at the party and then we won’t even care where we sleep” he smirked devilishly.

“Now  _there’s_  a plan.” Chip agreed, matching Jeff’s smirk.

“Well come on! Let me show you around,” Jeff grinned, jumping off the bed and going to grab his jacket from the wardrobe.

Chip joined him, practically bouncing on his feet with excitement. He was just so happy to be here with Jeff again.

The two walked out, Jeff throwing his arm around Chip’s shoulder as he launched into a full detailed explanation of everything and anything that went on around campus. Chip just beamed, hanging on to his every word. He just knew the next few days were going to be great. 


	4. Chapter 4

“And there is where most of my classes are…” Jeff said proudly, pointing over to a building across the small grassy area they were sitting on. A lot of students sat out when it was a nice day, and Jeff and Chip decided it would be nice.

As if they were back home, Jeff was sitting crossed legged, and Chip was using Jeff’s back pack as a pillow with his hands behind his head.

Chip raised an eyebrow as he looked over at the building. “Shouldn’t you be there now?” he asked, smirking up at Jeff.

“No smart ass!” Jeff chuckled, throwing some grass at Chip like he always did. “My classes finished before you got here.”

They had just finished the short tour of campus Jeff had given Chip, although neither were paying too much attention to their surroundings, focusing more on each other and what they had been up to.

“So…what’s her name…Laura?” Jeff said absentmindedly, trying to sound as smooth as he could.

“ _Lauren_ …” Chip corrected him, narrowing his eyes slightly at his friend. He knew Jeff well enough to know he did that on purpose.

“Oh right yeah…” Jeff shrugged it off as if it was nothing. “How is she?”

“She’s good…” Chip explained, suddenly feeling awkward.

“How did you meet?” Jeff asked, eyeing Chip carefully.

“At a party…we just got talking…and we were both pretty drunk I guess…”

“So you slept with her?” Jeff smirked.

Chip couldn’t hide his own smug grin. “Of course…” he chuckled.

“And now she’s your girlfriend?” Jeff asked, scrunching his nose.

“Yep…I dunno…I just really liked her I guess.”

“You guess?” Jeff raised a suspicious eyebrow.

“I do!” Chip exclaimed. “Seriously, she’s great Jeff, you’d really like her too.”

Jeff pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes. “I’ll be the judge of that…” he said teasingly. “What’s she like?”

Chip sighed, a wide grin spreading over his face like a love sick puppy.

“She’s smart…funny…beautiful…” he listed.

“Oh come on!” Jeff interrupted him, rolling his eyes.

“What?” Chip asked in surprise.

“She has you wrapped around her finger doesn’t she?” He asked. “I bet you’re whipped.”

Chip pouted. “I am  _not_  whipped!” he exclaimed. “You don’t even know her!” Chip said defensively.

“Still…I have a bad feeling…” Jeff pondered.

“About what?” Chip cocked his head curiously.

“I dunno…she seems like bad news.”

“Jeff…you have no way of knowing that…” Chip sighed.

“I do! I have a sense about this kind of thing.”

“ _Or_  it’s just ‘cause I’m not single with you…” Chip smirked knowingly.

“That’s not the reason!” Jeff tried to hide his smirk and look annoyed.

“Yeah it is!” Chip giggled. “You’re the worst liar in the world” he accused playfully.

“Okay  _fine._  I just thought it could be fun…me and you in college…picking up girls together…” he sighed. “You know we’re the best wingmen for each other.” He smirked.

“Yeah…that’s true…” Chip agreed, smiling.

“Well…she better treat you good, that’s all I’m saying.” Jeff warned. “Or she’ll have  _me_  to answer to.” He threatened, but it was light hearted.

Chip rolled his eyes. “Geez, you’re worse than a protective older brother.“

“Or better,” Jeff winked.

Chip rolled his eyes again in obvious exasperation.

“Oh come on,” Jeff chuckled and kicked Chip’s shin lightly. “I’m just looking out for you Chippy.”

“Yeah yeah…” Chip grinned, he secretly loved that Jeff had his back. But he always had Jeff’s too. It was how their friendship worked. “Let’s go get some food, I’m  _starving_ …” Chip thought aloud, sitting up and unflattening Jeff’s back pack before handing it to him.

Jeff’s eyes widened dramatically.

“Chip Esten?  _Hungry_?” he gasped. “Oh my god…I’ve never heard of such a thing…” He said theatrically, standing up and putting a hand to his mouth as he flung his back pack over his shoulder. “Quick! Someone call an ambulance!” he shouted, making a few people look around in question and Chip double over with laughter.

“Jeff shut up…!” he chuckled, getting up and pushing Jeff, making Jeff stumble and nearly fall over again.

“Hey!” Jeff giggled, watching as Chip smirked and turned to walk off. Jeff grinned to himself before running up behind Chip, grabbing him around the waist and tackling him to the ground so they both fell in a heap.

“Jeff!” Chip shouted, laughing his head off as Jeff untangled himself from around Chip, got up and sprinted away giggling childishly. Everyone in the vicinity had turned to look at them but Chip didn’t notice or care that they had an audience. He got up as quick as he could, barely realising he had grass stains on his jeans and sprinted after his best friend shouting at him the whole way through his laughter.


	5. Chapter 5

It was later that night and Jeff and Chip were at the party Jeff had mentioned earlier in the day. They were sitting on a couch in deep conversation, laughing and teasing each other like they always did. They were both slightly tipsy, the red cups in their hands being constantly filled and refilled with beer or liquor or whatever else they could get their hands on. Being college students, they were never really that fussy.

The room was buzzing, everyone either dancing or singing or talking loudly above the music.

“This is so awesome…” Chip grinned as he looked around, taking another sip of his beer.

“It’s awesome because we’re here  _together_ ,” Jeff pointed out, smirking.

Jeff was right. Of course, Chip loved the parties he went to back at his school, but the only thing that was wrong with them was that Jeff wasn’t there. He loved sitting here with his best friend, drinking and laughing and just having a great time. He adored how proud Jeff seemed to be to have him there with him, introducing him to nearly everyone who walked by, slinging a hand over his shoulder and hugging him with one arm as he told them how Chip had been his best friend since they started elementary school.

What surprised Chip even more, was that everyone already seemed to know who he was. He got varied responses from “Oh  _you’re_  Chip,” to “We’ve heard so much about you!” and he couldn’t help but blush furiously and push Jeff playfully and tell him he’s such a dork for talking about him so much.

“What?” Jeff grinned, a sheepish expression on his face.

“Does everyone know who I am?” Chip chuckled, sipping on his drink.

“Hey you’re nearly more famous than me around here,” Jeff winked, taking a drink himself.

“You really talk about me that much?” Chip asked, slightly surprised, but proud too.

“Of course! You’re my best friend Chip. It sucks you can’t be here all the time…have to make up for it somehow!” he grinned his gummy smile and Chip couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You’ll have to come visit  _me_  soon you know…it would be really great, we could –“ But Chip was cut short by what he thought was a very annoying blonde girl, seemingly desperate for Jeff’s attention.

“Jeff! Oh my god I didn’t know you’d be here…” She cooed, sitting on the armrest of the couch beside Jeff and all but leaning on him. Chip couldn’t help but glare, and for some reason it irritated him. Didn’t she know he was trying to have a conversation with Jeff?

“Oh hey Stephanie…” Jeff replied, flashing her his trademark smirk. Chip watched him for a second he couldn’t help but see why all the girls seemed to fall at his feet. He shook his head quickly and scrunched his nose, finding it weird he just thought about that. He sipped his drink and tried to drown out the girl’s girlish squeal, rolling his eyes in exasperation as she so obviously flirted with him and batted her eyelashes.

“I’ll talk to you soon though okay?” Jeff smiled, dismissing her as kindly as possible.

“Oh…oh okay…I thought we could…ya know, dance or something later…” she pouted, clearly disappointed that Jeff wasn’t playing back.

“Not tonight darlin’, maybe another time. ” Jeff winked and turned back to Chip as Stephanie walked away, a sour expression on her face.

Chip looked at Jeff in shock, raising his eyebrows and giving him a sceptical look.

“What?” Jeff asked for the second time that night.

Chip frowned. Thinking about it, that wasn’t the first time that had happened that evening. Jeff seemed to be rebuffing every girl who came near him, and Chip tilted his head in confusion as he looked at his best friend.

“Why are doing that?” Chip asked, half a smug smirk on his face. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed. It was so unlike Jeff to basically turn girls away when he was getting so much attention. Usually he basked in it, and Chip could nearly physically see his head growing.

“Doing what?” Jeff asked, almost shyly, picking at his jeans and not looking at Chip.

“Turning all the girls down…geez never thought I’d see the day…,” he looked around. “They’re all really pretty too…” he pointed out, now slightly baffled.

Jeff shrugged.  “I dunno. I can talk to them any time…you’re here now,” he nudged Chip, a slight blush donning his cheeks.”

Chip was slightly taken aback by this, and his own cheeks flushed red to rival Jeff’s.

“Jeff I don’t mind…” he began. “I mean you can talk to them…just cause I have a girlfriend and I can’t…doesn’t mean you shouldn’t…”

Jeff shook his head and took a gulp of his drink.

“No…no, no. It’s not that. That’s not the reason.” He explained, looking at Chip and smiling coyly. “You’re  here…and I never get to see you anymore. I’m not gonna waste my time talking to some hot girl when I can talk to you,” Jeff bit his lip taking another sip of his beer.

“Oh.” Chip nodded, drinking his beer too. He had to admit to himself, even though he said he didn’t mind Jeff talking to girls…he did…but he wasn’t sure why. It was never like that before, but for some reason he felt it was different here. He shrugged and let it go.

“Well, I am hotter than any of them,” Chip grinned smugly, getting rid of the sudden tension and making the conversation more light hearted.

Jeff laughed and punched his arm playfully. “That’s true. You’re the only person in the world that makes  _me_  look bad,” Jeff teased, winking at him. “Fuck those girls man, you’re getting all my attention tonight.” He said almost smirking at his best friend. “So you were saying about coming to visit…?”

Chip chuckled and punched Jeff back. He couldn’t help but smile cockily as they slipped back into conversation. He was getting all of Jeff’s attention tonight, and he had to concede, he loved it. 


	6. Chapter 6

“Chip it’s this one!” Jeff laughed as he stopped at his dorm, using the wall to hold himself up.

“Oh…well how am I supposed to remember?” Chip grinned, stumbling back to Jeff as he had walked too far down the hall.

It was four o’ clock in the morning and they had just left the party. Both were hammered and giggling like school kids as they made their way back to Jeff’s dorm, clinging to each other and singing badly at the top of their voices.

Jeff chuckled as he tried to unlock the door, a fate made difficult as Chip had decided to lean his full weight on him.

“Chip you’re not making this easy…” Jeff giggled, closing one eye in a bid to try and focus on the lock on the door better.

“Yeah but I don’t feel like standing anymore…” Chip whined, leaning heavily against Jeff’s side and grinning drunkenly.

Jeff smirked and quickly stood away from Chip, surprising his friend so he flailed wildly to try get his balance before crashing to the floor. Jeff doubled over laughing, holding the wall with one hand and his stomach with the other as he looked down at Chip, who was looking completely dazed as confused.

“Oh…my god…” Jeff managed to get out through his laughter. “Your face!” He exclaimed, barely able to catch his breath he was laughing so much.

Chip scowled up at him from the ground, but was unable to hide a slight smile - falling that hard probably should have hurt, but he was too drunk to notice or care. He started giggling too, and made no effort to get off the floor.

“You’re such a dick!” He exclaimed, now laughing nearly as much as Jeff.

“You’re the one who wouldn’t let me open the door!” Jeff argued back, giggling and leaning on the wall.

“Yeah like you could anyway…you’re hammered!” Chip accused, smirking drunkenly up at his best friend.

“Says the guy on his back on the floor?” Jeff asked sceptically, laughing so much he managed to get the hiccups. He frowned. “Aw man…” He complained, which only made Chip laugh even more.

“Hold your breath!” He suggested. “And help me up,” he chuckled, putting his arms up in front of him in the air.

“Help yourself up!” Jeff smirked, before taking a deep breath and holding his nose.

“Jeeeeffff…pleeeeease,” Chip whined, looking up at Jeff with a childish pout.

Jeff rolled his eyes playfully with his cheeks still puffed up from holding his breath. He let it out and hiccupped almost straight away.

“Dammit!” He cursed then laughed again at Chip. “You look ridiculous…” He slurred pointing at him lazily.

“Well I wouldn’t if you helped me up…” Chip grinned, shaking his hands that were still in front of him in the air. “Or let me fall down here in the first place…”

Jeff could only giggle in response and pushed himself off the wall. He stumbled over the short distance to Chip and stood astride his hips looking down at him and chuckling. He grabbed both of Chip’s hands and steadied himself as best he could.

“Okay…ready…” He pulled on Chip’s arms, but Chip had opted not to help him, which resulted in Jeff also losing his balance and toppling to the floor, falling on top of Chip.

“Argh!” Chip cried as Jeff’s weight fell on him, and it wasn’t long before once again the two were in a fit of giggles, Jeff rolling off Chip and onto his back, holding his stomach as it was starting to hurt from all the laughter.

They weren’t sure how long they actually lay there laughing at each other, but they were making quite a racket - and Jeff never  _had_  managed to get the door open.

It was then  that Dave, Jeff’s roommate, decided in investigate the noise outside the door, and got up to open it, only to discover Jeff and Chip on their backs on the floor, laughing so much they could barely breath.

Dave couldn’t help but smirk as it was quite a sight to see at four am in the hallway of their dorm.

“Having fun?” He asked, looking down on them and leaning on the door frame casually as he crossed his arms.

Jeff and Chip started and whipped their heads up to look at Dave, their laughter subsiding quickly. They stared at him sheepishly for a moment, before Jeff hiccupped again and broke the silence, making them both collapse in giggles once again. Dave rolled his eyes in amusement as he watched them.

“Dave!” Jeff exclaimed, scrambling off the floor ungracefully. He launched himself at his roommate and hugged him as Chip too managed to pull himself off the floor. Dave laughed and pat Jeff on the back.

“Time for bed, I think,” Dave mused, pulling back from Jeff and smirking at him. He didn’t mind being woken, himself and Jeff had become close and often looked after each other when one had got too drunk – something that probably happened more than either were willing to admit.

“Now  _there’s_  a good idea!” Chip chimed in, going to hug Dave too, his drunk head feeling it was necessary.

Dave only chuckled and hugged him back. “Yeah you too…” He laughed. Jeff and Chip beamed at each other stupidly and stumbled inside leaving Dave to close the door. Chip made a beeline for Jeff’s bed and collapsed on top of it, not even bothering to change or take of his clothes.

Jeff followed him, frowning when he saw Chip had sprawled out on his already small single bed. He poked Chip’s side, who groaned.

“Dude move over…” Jeff slurred, mirroring Chip and collapsing beside him when Chip complied. Neither bothered to move to get under the blankets, and seemed to pass out within seconds. They were practically on top of each other as the bed was so small, and Dave watched as Chip seemed to cuddle into Jeff’s side, Jeff apparently instinctively turning into him and putting an arm over his friend’s stomach - almost as if he was protecting him.

Dave chuckled and shook his head as he walking back over to his own bed.

“Straight my ass…”


	7. Chapter 7

Chip frowned as he woke up. He had the familiar pounding head and he was afraid if he moved it would get even worse. Shifting slightly, he felt an arm wrapped around his waist and for a moment he couldn’t remember where he was.

Opening his eyes, he groaned internally at the effort before glancing down, discovering that it was Jeff that seemed to have snuggled up to him during the night.

“Dude…” he groaned, elbowing Jeff awake but not bothering to move himself.

He got a pained moan in response and his friend failed to make any movement but only seemed to hold him tighter.

“Jeff…” Chip said a bit louder, discovering his voice was hoarse. “You’re spooning me.” He explained casually, closing his own eyes again.

“Huh?” Jeff asked, opening one eye and frowning. “Oh…shit sorry….” He yawned and rolled onto his back away from Chip. Chip chuckled and mirrored him, reluctantly opening his eyes and rubbing them. The two were lying next to each other on the small single bed, their sides pressed together as they stared at the ceiling. It didn’t seem to bother or surprise them the way they had just woken up.

“I usually have a girl in my bed after a party like that,” Jeff smirked. “Force of habit,” he chuckled, turning his head to look at Chip.

“Oh so Jeff Davis likes to cuddle huh?” Chip teased. “Who would have thought…”

“Oh shut up,” Jeff laughed and elbowed Chip. “Usually get a better greeting in the morning than you making fun of me,” Jeff grinned cockily.

“Well tough, I’m not gonna blow you.” Chip laughed. Jeff gasped and turned on his side again, propping his head up on his elbow.

“You’re not? Aw come on…bet you’d be really good at it…” he teased, bring a finger up Chip’s arm, jokingly trying to get a rise out of his friend.

Chip laughed and batted Jeff’s hand away.

“Gross. Besides I shouldn’t have spent the night anyway…I feel so dirty…and ashamed…” he pretended to sob, bringing his hands up to his face.

“Oh haw-haw.” Jeff smacked Chip as the two laughed. “No girl feels ashamed when she leaves here, believe me.” He smirked again.

“Yeah…well I just hope you changed the sheets.” Chip cocked and eyebrow and the two burst out laughing.

“Oh god my head…” Jeff complained as they settled down. “What time did we leave the party? What time is it  _now_?” he glanced over at Dave’s bed and discovered he had already left. He figured it must have been late, as Dave usually liked to sleep in on Saturdays.

“Last night…no idea…” Chip shrugged, rubbing his temples. “Now? Eh….” He turned his head towards Jeff’s nightstand, squinting to read the alarm clock. “One fifteen…” he chuckled. “Oops, we must have just passed out.”

Jeff chuckled and lay on his back again.

“Great night though…,” he frowned, remembering something. “Why were we lying on the floor in the hall?” he asked, half amused as the memory returned.

Chip laughed when Jeff reminded him. “Oh yeah…that was your fault. You may as well have pushed me.” Chip grinned, giggling to himself.

“No I didn’t…” Jeff argued, but it was all a little hazy, so he couldn’t exactly be certain.  “Did we wake Dave?” he asked, cringing slightly.

“Uh…” Chip frowned in an effort to recall. “Yeah…I think so…” he chuckled to himself. “He won’t mind will he? I mean we did hug him,” he laughed. “That has to count for something.”

Jeff chuckled. “Chip you’re so affectionate when you’re drunk!” he teased.

“Am not,” Chip pouted.

“Yes you are…you’re always hugging me and leaning on me,” he giggled.

“Oh shut up…you love it,” Chip chuckled.

“Yeah,” Jeff agreed. “Besides, what are best friends for? Nothing like a good hug, I say.”

“Agreed.” Chip nodded.  “Dave won’t be mad though right?”

“Nah…” Jeff shook his head. I found him asleep in the hall once, I think this makes us even,” he giggled.

“Wow you two really are the perfect roommates,” Chip laughed.

“Yep! I can only think of one person I’d replace him with,” he smirked, looking at Chip again.

“A hot naked girl?” Chip laughed again, nudging him.

“No!” Jeff giggled. “Well yeah actually…” he re-thought. “But I was talking about you, you idiot.”

“Ooooh,” Chip drawled. “Well that’s a given.” He smirked. “How awesome would it be if we got to live with each other?”

“It would be the best.” Jeff agreed. “Although we’d never get any work done.” He chuckled.

“That’s true,” Chip giggled. “We’d probably stay up all night building forts like we used to!”

“Oh god…remember that? Your mom got so mad when she found out we’d used all the blankets in your house…” he chuckled at the memory.

“Yeah!” Chip laughed. “So worth it though.”

“Absolutely…” Jeff grinned, he always loved remembering things like that with Chip. Going back over all the fun they had in their childhood made him smile like an idiot.  “Hey, what do you say we go get some food? I could use a strawberry milkshake…” he told Chip, sitting up and stretching.

“I still don’t see how they’re a hangover cure…” Chip muttered, sitting off the side of the bed and yawning.

“They are! They’ve saved my life on more than one occasion.” He insisted as pushed Chip up and followed him as they walked towards the door. They were too lazy to change, having slept in their clothes the night before the both figured another couple of hours in them wouldn’t do any harm.

“Well I’ll tell you what,” Chip chuckled, closing the door behind him as they walked out into the hall. “I’ll let you buy me one.” He smirked.

“Oh that’s nice of you…” Jeff rolled his eyes playfully. “But only cause it’s you, you’re getting special treatment, you know.” he grinned and winked.

Chip giggled and put and arm around Jeff’s shoulder as they walked down the hall.

“Oh sure…I bet you say that to all the girls you wake up with.”

“Does that make you a girl now?” he raised an eyebrow.

“No, it makes you a slut.” Chip smirked, he loved messing with his best friend. Jeff punched him playfully and laughed.

“You’re just jealous!” 


	8. Chapter 8

“Do you really have to go?” Jeff whined, sitting on his bed crossed legged as Chip packed up the few things he brought. It was Sunday night and Chip was getting ready to leave and head back to his own college.

“Yeah…” Chip pouted, zipping up his bag. “I don’t want to though…” he explained, throwing his bag on the floor and sitting on the bed next to Jeff and leaning his head back on the wall. He sighed and stared at the ceiling. Everything about him leaving sucked.

“I don’t want you to,” Jeff pouted, looking at Chip sadly. He spotted a stray eyelash on Chip’s cheek and reached with one finger to trace it away. Chip frowned until Jeff showed him the eyelash on the tip of his finger and smiled in appreciation. He blew it gently away and made a wish.

Jeff shivered as the hot hair from Chip’s mouth hit his skin but he smiled. He had enjoyed having Chip there so much over the weekend but it had gone far too fast. It was like he just got there; three days wasn’t enough. He wasn’t ready to have his best friend leave again. Who knew when he was going to see him again?

“It’ll be okay…we’ll still talk on the phone and stuff…” Chip tried, but was feeling just as dejected as Jeff.

Jeff scoffed. “That’s not the same and you know it.” He said, crossing his arms rather childishly. “I’ve just got used to having you here now, it’ll be weird when you leave, going back to normal. I don’t wanna.” He moaned.

“Me neither…” Chip sighed.

“Jesus you two are acting like it’s the end of the world!” Dave chuckled from his desk across the room, rolling his eyes. “God forbid you don’t talk for two days…” he teased.

“Oh shut up!” Jeff chuckled, launching a pillow at his roommate as Chip giggled. “I’m gonna miss him, okay!.” Jeff laughed. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a friend like Chip,” Jeff grinned, grabbing Chip around the neck and ruffling his hair as the two chuckled together.

“Mmhmm…” Dave smirked to himself and turned back to his book. After witnessing the two friends closely over the weekend, it was more than obvious to him that there was something there. Something  _more_.  _‘Just friends’_  didn’t seem to cut it. Whether they realised it yet or not.

 “Come visit me soon?” Chip asked, trying not to sound too desperate, but failing miserably. He really hated the thought of going any length of time without seeing Jeff again. The first month of college was hard enough.

“How about in two weeks?” Jeff suddenly grinned. He realised there was no reason why he couldn’t go stay with Chip for a weekend. “I’ve midterms coming up…but after them?” he asked excitedly. He wanted to see Chip as soon as possible too.

“Really? Two weeks?” Chip’s eyes widened enthusiastically as he practically bounced on the bed. Two weeks wasn’t so bad. Two weeks he could live with.

“Yeah! Why not!” Jeff grinned happily. In his opinion, even two weeks was too long, but it was better than nothing. “If you’ll have me,” he nudged Chip teasingly.

Chip chuckled and nudged him back. “Hell yeah I’ll have you, you’re welcome anytime Jeff.” He said more sincerely. “Although my bed is a bit smaller than yours…” he frowned.

“We’ll manage,” Jeff winked, and Dave smirked to himself again.

 The two beamed at each other for a moment before Chip’s smile faded again. Even though they’d already made plans to see each other soon, he still had to leave now. It almost surprised him how depressed the thought made him.

“Well I better go…” he shrugged, standing up off the bed. He didn’t want to prolong it any longer than he had to – or else he might just not leave at all.

“Yeah…” Jeff pouted climbing off the bed. “Call me when you get back okay? I’ll be worried…” he said sheepishly.

“You’ll be worried?” Chip smirked, teasing him.

“Well yeah!” Jeff blushed.

Chip chuckled. “Come here you idiot…” He grinned and pulled Jeff in for a hug, Jeff hugging him back tightly. There was a definite reluctance from both of them to let go, but once they did, they sighed in unison.

Jeff walked him to the door and opened it.

“I’ll talk to you later, okay?” he asked.

Chip nodded and walked out. “See you man, thanks for a great weekend,” he smiled but it was clear he was just as upset as Jeff that he was leaving.

“It really was great…” Jeff agreed. “Bye Chip,”

He closed the door after one more hug, and then Jeff shuffled back to his bed before collapsing on it.

“This sucks.” He groaned, hugging his pillow to his chest and staring at ceiling sadly.

Dave swivelled in his chair to look at him.

“Yeah…it always sucks when your boyfriend leaves huh?” he smirked. Jeff frowned and sat up.

“What?” he asked, his brow creased.

“Yeah that’s why I stay single. Not worth the heartache.” Dave tried not to laugh at Jeff’s confused expression. Poor guy didn’t even have a clue.

“Dave…what the fuck are you talking about? I  _am_  single, remember?” he asked, feeling like he was missing something.

“Uhhuh…” Dave humoured him. “So when are you gonna tell him?” he asked innocently.

Jeff couldn’t frown any more than he already was, but he continued to look at Dave in bewilderment.

“What? Tell him what?”

“That’s you’re madly in love with him and want to fuck his brains out?” Dave smirked, deciding not to sugar coat it. It was the truth anyway.

Jeff blanched and his eyes widened to saucers. “ _Excuse_  me?” he spat, in full shock.

“That you’re madly in lo-“

“Yes I heard you!” Jeff interrupted him. “What the hell Dave, that’s my best friend you’re talking about!”

“Yeah…’ _friend_ ’” he air quoted the word and smirked at Jeff.

“Yes friend!” Jeff said defensively looking at his roommate in disbelief.

“Uhhuh…okay sure…” Dave agreed rather sarcastically and turned back to his desk again. But Jeff didn’t want to leave it there.

“He  _is_  just my friend Dave!” Jeff exclaimed.

“Okay,” Dave smirked, not looking at him.

“We’ve known each other since we were like 5!” Jeff continued.

“Uhhuh,” Dave grinned, flipping a page of his book casually.

“Stop doing that!” Jeff said, getting frustrated.

“Doing what?” Dave asked innocently, a cheeky smile playing on his lips as he turned to face Jeff again.

“ _That!_ ” Jeff cried, getting worked up. “Me and Chip are just friends Dave.” He insisted.

“Okay, sure. If that makes you happy.” Dave nodded, still smirking.

Jeff narrowed his eyes at his roommate. “I’m serious man. Just. Friends.”

“Getting a bit defensive over it, aren’t you?” he asked, grinning mischievously.

“What? No I’m not!” he exclaimed, then backtracked. “I mean…whatever…” Jeff flushed and looked down at him blankets.  _God dammit._

Dave chuckled and turned back to his book again.

Jeff glared at the back of his head for another while before scoffing and climbing off the bed.

“I’m going to find Kate…” he muttered, hoping she’d be interested in him tonight as he pulled on his jacket. He smirked to himself. When would she _not_  be interested?

“Ah, overcompensating now, I see.” Dave teased, still looking down at his book and flipping the page. “Yeah…I did that for a while too…”

“Stop that!” Jeff exclaimed the smirk quickly wiped off his face, storming towards the door and wrenching it open.

“Try not to think about Chip to much while you’re fucking her!” Dave called, laughing loudly.

“Shut up!” Jeff shouted in frustration before slamming the door and marching down the corridor.

He grumbled to himself as he walked. He didn’t know why he let Dave get to him about that so much.  _Was_  he being too defensive?

He frowned then shook his head, annoyed at himself. Of course he wasn’t. Chip was just his friend. That’s how it had always been and that’s how it would stay. 


	9. Chapter 9

Jeff was almost at Chip’s college. He had decided to get the bus up rather than drive - it was cheaper than paying for gas and he wasn’t sure his old banged up Honda would make the journey anyway.   
  
He was leaning his forehead against the cool window of the bus, lost in thought as the world sped by in front him. The scenery was great, the bus took many country roads - but he hadn’t noticed it much. His mind was on other things - like it had been the last two weeks. Luckily he had sat his mid-terms, so studying for them gave him a great distraction from what he had been thinking about. That being Chip. And what Dave had said about him.  
  
Dave hadn’t brought it up again since the night Chip left, but his words hadn’t left Jeff’s thoughts. For some reason they struck a chord with him, and he couldn’t shake it.  
  
 _“That you’re in love with him and you want to fuck his brains out?”_  
  
Jeff grumbled to himself and turned away from the window, crossing his arms in annoyance. Dave was so fucking insane. Where did he even get that from? Okay so him and Chip were a little closer than your average best friends, Jeff had always known that - it was actually something he rather enjoyed about the relationship, but so what? Why did that have to mean he was in love with Chip?  
  
Well it didn’t mean that because he wasn’t. That was just ridiculous.   
  
“Hey! Are you getting off or what?”   
  
Jeff looked up from his seat to discover he was the only person left on the bus, and the bus driver was looking at him in annoyance.  
  
“Come on kid I don’t have all day.”  
  
“Oh…right sorry…” Jeff mumbled, grabbing his backpack and trudging off the bus and into the small station. He wasn’t looking where he was going or remotely paying attention and before he knew what was happening, a warm body was attacking him with a hug.  
  
“I can’t believe you’re here!!” Chip exclaimed, hugging his friend tightly. It was a moment before Jeff even registered what was going on, and as soon as he did, he pulled away from the hug, feeling awkward all of sudden.  
  
“Chip!” He exclaimed. “What are you doing here, I thought we said we’d meet at the…”  
  
“Yeah I couldn’t wait that long,” Chip grinned, not letting Jeff finish. “Besides, my last class was cancelled so I had the time!”  
  
“Oh great…” Jeff grinned, but he felt off, frustrated or something. He had planned to change and freshen up before he saw Chip - not because he had to look good or anything - but he always felt grubby after he travelled. He shook it off and figured it didn’t matter. He could fix himself when he got back to Chip’s dorm.   
  
They began walking, Chip chattering about everything and anything as always, but Jeff was only half listening. He was watching Chip carefully. There was something different about him that he couldn’t quite make out.  
  
“Jeff?” Chip giggled when he realised Jeff wasn’t responding the way he usually did. “Man you’re out of it…”  
  
“What?” Jeff blinked. “Oh…sorry…I fell asleep in the bus, I only just woke up,” he gave Chip a small sheepish smile, hoping he’d believe the lie. “Um…is there something different about you?” He blurted out.   
  
“Ugh…” Chip bit his lip and looked down at his clothes. He held out the end of shirt. “This is a new shirt?” He said, more like a question than a statement as if to ask if that was what Jeff was talking about.   
  
Jeff’s eyes dropped down the shirt and shook his head. “No….that’s not it…”

He decided to put it out of his head for now and chuckled. “That is an awful shirt by the way,” he teased.   
  
“What?” Chip gasped, looking at it again as they walked. “What’s wrong with it?”  
  
“What’s right with it you mean,” Jeff giggled. Chip glared and then protested, and within seconds they were back to their old selves, laughing and teasing each other while Jeff’s previous thoughts were forgotten.  
  
Once they reached Chip’s dorm, Chip collapsed on his bed and put his hands behind his head.   
  
Jeff threw his bag down and chuckled. “Wow you weren’t wrong about this being smaller than mine.” He pointed out, sitting on the edge.   
  
“I know right? Barely fit on it myself…” Chip giggled. “But don’t worry, Bryan went home for the weekend and he  _reluctantly_  said you can crash on his bed,” Chip explained. “But don’t touch any of his stuff…he’s really weird about it.” He rolled his eyes.  
  
“Oh so were not sleeping together?” Jeff asked, surprised.  
  
“Nope!” Chip grinned. “No spooning this time,” he winked.   
  
“Oh…well…good,” Jeff glanced over at the other bed in the room. “That’s good…but em, if he’s weird about it should I really be sleeping there?” He asked. “Would it not just be easier…”  
  
“Naw, don’t worry about it. Besides, I really don’t think we’d fit,” he chuckled.  
  
“Right…” Jeff looked at Chip and smiled. He still couldn’t figure out what was different. “So what’s the plans for this weekend?!” He asked, suddenly getting excited - he  _had_  been looking forward to the trip after all.  
  
“Well it’s Friday night, what do you think?” Chip smirked, making Jeff smirk right back.  
  
“Party?” Jeff grinned.  
  
“Party.” Chip confirmed, sitting up and crossing his legs. “And you get to finally meet Lauren!” He exclaimed excitedly.   
  
Jeff frowned. “Lauren?”   
  
Chip raised his eyebrows. “Eh yeah…my girlfriend?” He reminded him.  
  
“Oh!” Jeff shook his head. “Lauren…yeah of course…”   
  
“You’re gonna love her Jeff, and she’s gonna  _adore_  you,” he giggled. “I’ve told her all about you of course,”   
  
“Great, can’t wait,” Jeff forced a smile as Chip continued to make plans for later. Jeff wasn’t sure why Chip having a girlfriend bothered him - it had done from the moment he told him.   
  
He never really had liked any of the girls Chip dated, but then again Chip had never got on with his past girlfriends. Maybe they were just being protective over each other - it came with being best friends he guessed. He just always thought Chip could do so much better.   
  
He didn’t know this ‘Lauren’ of course, but he just had a bad feeling. He’d have to suss her out tonight and make up his mind – although he already decided he wasn’t going to like her, so his hopes weren’t that high.  
  
“Wow you really are out of it.” Chip laughed, Jeff again having not responded to Chip’s question again.   
  
“Huh?” Jeff asked stupidly, making Chip laugh even more.  
  
“I said how did your mid-terms go…” Chip repeated. “You just finished them right?”   
  
“Oh! They actually went pretty well,” Jeff smirked smugly. “Piece of cake.”  
  
Chip rolled his eyes. “Of  _course_  they were. I hate the way you get straight A’s without even trying…” Chip huffed.

Jeff had always got good grades. Chip had too, but he always seemed to have to put in a lot more work than Jeff did. Chip always told him he was like a sponge, he just seemed to retain information.   
  
Jeff shrugged. “Well it’s not like high school, I actually had to  _study_ ,” Jeff explained in mock horror.  
  
Chip gasped. “What?! Study for college midterms? That’s madness!” He said dramatically. Jeff smacked him playfully.   
  
“Oh shut up…” He smirked.   
  
“You’re such a nerd.” Chip teased.  
  
“I am not!” Jeff protested.   
  
“Yes you are,” he giggled. “So come on, what you wanna do until later? I could show you around…we could catch a movie ?”  
  
Jeff thought about it for a moment. He didn’t really feel like going anywhere. He just wanted to be with Chip.  
  
“How about we hang out here?” Jeff suggested. “Catch up. Just me and you.”  
  
Chip grinned and nodded. “Just me and you…” He repeated. “I like the sound of that,” he beamed.  
  
And Jeff did too.


	10. Chapter 10

Jeff was drunk. Probably drunker than he should be at one o clock in the morning. The party he and Chip were at was in full swing and Jeff had had one too many tequilas.   
  
Chip laughed and placed a hand on Jeff’s back when he stumbled, He was drunk as well, but not nearly as much as Jeff was  
  
“You alright man?” He chuckled when Jeff flashed him a drunken grin in thanks.  
  
“I’m with you aren’t I?” He smirked, throwing an arm around Chip and leaning heavily against him.  
  
“Yes you are,” Chip laughed. “It’s so good to have you here…” Chip said for the hundred time that day.  
  
Jeff giggled and took another sup of whatever he was drinking - it had got to the stage where he didn’t even know or care what it was. He looked at Chip and squinted, as if he was trying to focus and concentrate really hard.  
  
“What?” Chip laughed.   
  
“I still can’t figure out what’s different…” Jeff wondered aloud.  
  
“I think it’s all in your head,” Chip chuckled, then looked at his watch. _Again_. Jeff swat his hand away.  
  
“Dude you keep checking the time!” Jeff accused, playfully pushing him, “What’s that about? Is it past your bedtime already?” He smirked.  
  
Chip chuckled and took a drink. “Nah…it’s just Lauren said she’d be here by eleven…” He worried, glancing towards the door of the room.  
  
Jeff rolled his eyes. Frankly he was sick of hearing about Lauren. He didn’t see why he had to meet her anyway – he had only come to visit Chip. What was so great about her?  
  
“Chip will you relax?” He asked, waving his hand lazily. “You’ve been anxious all night, so what she’s not here!” He grinned.   
  
“I know I just  _really_ wanted you to meet her.” Chip pouted, and Jeff found it difficult not to roll his eyes again.  
  
“Well it doesn’t look like she’s gonna show…” Jeff pointed out. “I mean it’s already one! Screw her man, lets just continue our ’guys only’ day, just me and you, remember? ” Jeff grinned drunkenly making Chip laugh and shake his head.  
  
“Yeah yeah…” Chip chuckled. “I guess you’re…oh Lauren! Over here!” His eyes lit up and he waved as he spotted his girlfriend arrive with a few of her friends.  
  
Jeff glanced around and scowled to himself, crossing his arms rather childishly. He watched the girl whisper something to one of her friends then beam and come bounding over. Jeff scrutinised her, looking her up and down with a slight frown. Okay, he had to admit, she was pretty hot.

 _Very_  hot actually.   
  
Lauren practically leaped into Chip’s arms and ignored Jeff was even there, much to his annoyance.   
  
“Hi baby…” She crooned, wrapping her arms around Chip’s neck and kissing him, making Chip go bright red and glance nervously at Jeff.  
  
“Um Lauren,” he smiled, pushing her gently away but keeping an arm around her back. “This is Jeff,” he grinned at his friend and put hand on his shoulder. Jeff plastered a fake smile on his face and turned to her. Lauren in turn smiled back at him.  
  
“Nice to meet you, Chip’s told me a lot about you,” she explained, still hanging onto Chip. Jeff extended his hand to shake hers and watched as she looked him up and down. She smirked, then took his hand and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. It surprised Jeff, but he hid it quickly. He still said nothing, fearing if he did it would be the wrong thing.  
  
“So  _you’re_  the famous Jeff my boyfriend keeps talking about then,” she cocked an eyebrow, saying it almost as if it was an accusation.   
  
“The one and only,” Jeff smirked, finally finding his voice and leaning casually against the wall.  
  
Lauren smirked too, and entwined her and Chip’s fingers, who looked at her and smiled happily.   
  
“I have to say it’s nice to put such a lovely face to the name” She smiled, looking Jeff up and down again in a way that made him slightly uncomfortable.  
  
“Ugh…right, yeah…” Jeff looked at Chip but scrunched his face up at the way he was looking at her. There was far too much love there considering they had only known each other what, two minutes? Chip always had fallen hard and fast, and Jeff told him he was going to get his heart broken one day. Maybe that’s why he never liked Chip’s girlfriend’s – he was afraid they’d hurt his best friend. Lauren certainly looked like she had it in her to break his heart.

Jeff watched as Chip kissed her on the cheek and scrunched up his face.  
  
“I’m gonna take a piss…I’ll be back…” He explained awkwardly, pointing behind him before backing away, stumbling slightly.  
  
“Alright, have fun!” Chip chuckled.

Jeff smirked. “What could I possibly get up to in the bathroom that would be fun?” He laughed.

Chip just winked cheekily in response and Jeff rolled his eyes and gave him the finger, chuckling as he turned away and left the room.   
  
Chip laughed turned to Lauren straight away, practically bouncing on his feet with a stupid grin on his face.  
  
“Well?” He asked expectantly. “I told you he was great didn’t I?” He beamed.  
  
Lauren frowned slightly at Chip’s excitement then shrugged before wrapping her arms around Chip’s shoulders.   
  
“I dunno…” She said.  
  
“You dunno?” Chip frowned. “About what?”  
  
“I didn’t like the way he was looking at me…” She said shyly.  
  
“What?” Chip asked, confused. “What do you mean?”   
  
“Well didn’t you say he was a bit of a womaniser?” She asked.  
  
Chip creased his brow and placed his hands on her hips.   
  
“No…not like that, Jeff just likes to have fun.” He explained defensively.  
  
“Oh okay. Maybe it’s nothing then.” She brushed it off and tried to kiss Chip, but he pulled back.  
  
“No what do you mean?” He asked.  
  
“It’s just…the way he was looking at me…” She began, not meeting Chip’s eyes. “Like he  _wanted_  me…or something.” She bit her lip. “That’s how you looked at me when I first met you,” she smirked.  
  
Chip blushed. “Oh come on I certainly don’t have the skills Jeff…” But he trailed off realising what she was implying. “Wait, what do you mean  _he_ wanted you? Jeff wouldn’t do that.” Chip frowned, annoyed Lauren would imply that.   
  
“Oh okay…maybe you’re right…must have just been me then…” She shrugged, then kissed Chip before he could pull away again, trying not to smirk against his lips.   
  
Jeff came back into the room a few minutes later but scowled when he saw Chip and Lauren making out in the corner. He hung back, watching them from across the room as he poured himself another strong drink. Shouldn’t she be leaving or something?   
  
“Come on…lets get out of here…” Lauren whispered as she started kissing Chip’s neck.   
  
Chip closed his eyes and tilted his head back, unaware they were being watched with a dangerous glare. “I can’t…Jeff…” He muttered.  
  
“Screw Jeff…” Lauren said. “Come on let’s go back to yours,” she smirked, still kissing Chip’s neck.   
  
Chip stopped her and grabbed her hands. “Jeff’s staying with me…we can’t go back there.” He explained, kissing her hands.  
  
“So?” She asked, getting annoyed at Chip’s rebuffs.  
  
“We can’t Lauren…” Chip responded firmly.  
  
She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Okay fine…mine then,” she smirked seductively and pulled him closer to kiss him.  
  
“I can’t just leave Jeff here…” He explained, barely responding to her kiss.  
  
She scowled and pulled back.  
  
“You’re serious?” She exclaimed. “Would he not do that to you if a girl came a long?” She accused.  
  
Chip frowned and remembered back to when he visited Jeff.   
 _  
“I can talk to them any time…you’re here now.…and I never get to see you anymore. I’m not gonna waste my time talking to some hot girl when I can talk to you”  
_  
Chip unconsciously smiled as Jeff’s  words came back to him. Jeff was right. He could do this anytime. Jeff was only here for a couple of days. Lauren would just have to wait.  
  
“No…no he wouldn’t.” He stated. “We’re best friends, Lauren.”  
  
“So you’re putting him before me now?” She accused, stepping back from him.   
  
“What? No!” Chip exclaimed. “I’m not putting anyone before anyone. Why can’t we all just hang out tonight?” He asked, beginning to get frustrated. He didn’t like when she drank this much.   
  
The couple continued to argue as Jeff watched them with a small smirk from the other side of the room. Trouble in paradise, it seemed. He downed his drink and poured himself another once he saw Lauren storm off leaving Chip alone, who was grumbling to himself when Jeff approached him.  
  
“What happened?” Jeff asked, smiling at his friend as he leaned on the wall beside him.  
  
“Oh don’t look so smug,” Chip smirked, shoving Jeff playfully.  
  
“More trouble than they’re worth, I thought I told you that Chippy,” he winked.  
  
“Oh shut up…” Chip chuckled. “It’ll be fine in the morning, she just gets a bit _…difficult…_  when she’s drunk.”  
  
“Funny, all the girls I know get easier when they’re drunk.” Jeff smirked and Chip rolled his eyes laughing. “Seriously though, you okay?” Jeff asked.  
  
“Yeah yeah it’s fine. She’s gone home. Maybe we can all go for lunch tomorrow or something.  _Sober_.” He emphasised, but chuckled all the same.  
  
“As long as I get you all to myself for now,” Jeff winked, throwing his arm around Chip.   
  
Chip laughed and downed his drink. “I’m all yo-” but he was cut off by someone shouting his name and gesturing for him to go over.  
  
“Shit I’ll be right back okay?” He told Jeff, who nodded and waved him off with a drunken grin.  
  
But apparently Chip got caught up in whatever conversation he was having as he still hadn’t returned twenty minutes later. Jeff managed to keep himself amused by finding the end of a bottle of tequila, and flirting with a few girls who had been eyeing him all night. But they started to annoy him quickly.

Feeling dizzy – the tequila suddenly hitting him - he shook his head to clear his double vision, deciding it was a good idea to head outside for some fresh air. He should probably get some water too.

Stumbling out through the kitchen and to the back door – forgetting about the water the minute he thought about it - he found a wall around the side of the house and leant against it heavily, rubbing his eyes and shaking his head again. Okay, so maybe he shouldn’t have drunk so much.   
  
“Jeff…”   
  
He looked up and had to squint to focus on the girl approaching him. It took him a second to realise who it was.  
  
“Lauren…” He raised his eyebrows. “I though you left,”  
  
“Nah, was having too much fun.” She smirked, taking a drag of her cigarette.   
  
Jeff frowned and eyed it. She smoked? He couldn’t picture Chip being with a smoker. He didn’t talk to Jeff for three days once when he had tried it once in high school and Chip caught him.   
  
“Chip hates smoking…” He slurred, pointing at the cigarette.  
  
“I know,” She grinned mischievously. “So it has to be our little secret okay?” She asked a little too sweetly.   
  
“Chip doesn’t know you smoke?” He asked in surprise.   
  
“What Chip doesn’t know won’t hurt him, Jeff,” she explained, a smirk that didn’t suit her on her lips. She was inching closer to Jeff with every step and he eyed her carefully.   
  
“You know, Chip wouldn’t come home with me tonight.” She explained, standing in front of Jeff and throwing her cigarette on the ground and stamping it out with the ball of her foot. “Said he had to spend time with his best friend,” she continued. Jeff raised an eyebrow. She seemed jealous. That made Jeff smirk.   
  
“Is that what you guys fought about?” He asked, meeting her eyes, his smirk quickly fading. He cocked his head, and could suddenly see why Chip fell for her - he eyes were so enchanting, an almost golden colour that Jeff couldn’t seem to look away from.   
  
“You heard that huh?” She asked. “I don’t know what the big deal is…I just wanted sex…” She licked her lips and tilted her head. “I’m sure you can understand that…” She whispered and Jeff gulped. Was she closer than before?  
“Uh yeah…yeah I know what you mean…” He stuttered, trying to make sense of the situation with his hazy drunk mind. He probably shouldn’t find this as thrilling as he did…but her eyes…  
  
“You know…” She began, twirling a lock of her blonde hair in her fingers. “Me and Chip aren’t exclusive.”  
  
Jeff’s eyes widened in surprise. 

  
“What?” He asked stupidly. Chip hadn’t told him of course but he was under the impression that him and Lauren were  _definitely_  exclusive. The way Chip talked about her…  
  
“Yeah…we never  _technically_  discussed it…” She shrugged, bringing a hand up to Jeff’s shirt and fingering the collar gently.   
  
He looked down at her fingers at his shirt collar and his heart race quickened and he swallowed thickly.   
  
“Does…does Chip know?” Jeff asked, his voice breaking. He tried to ignore her nimble fingertips at his collar. “That you’re not…”  
  
Lauren shrugged again. “If he doesn’t, that’s not my fault.”   
  
“But…but he really likes you…” Jeff murmured, finding himself glancing at her lips. They were so close. Too close.  
  
“And I really like him too. But I only want one thing tonight and he won’t give it to me.” She crooned, and leaned in even closer to Jeff.  
  
“What…what are you doing…” Jeff stuttered, trying to move backwards but the wall prevented him from doing so.  
  
“I think you know,” she smirked. “I thought you were… _practiced_  at this,” she grinned darkly, licking her lips making them look wet and inviting.  
  
“Chip’s my best friend…” Jeff stuttered stupidly.

 _Don’t do this Jeff, push her away.  
_  
“I’m well aware,” she said, a hint of annoyance in her voice.   
  
 _Stop it Jeff. Say no. Don’t do this.  
_  
She brought her hands up and cupped his face, swiping her thumb over his cheek. “I can see now what all the fuss is about,” she whispered, and Jeff could feel her breath against her lips. He closed his eyes, trying to focus. “Just  _gorgeous_  aren’t you? Chip never mentioned just  _how_ gorgeous…”  
  
 _Stop. Stop. Stop._    
  
Every inch of him was screaming at him to put a stop this. He had to think of Chip, he couldn’t do it. But those eyes…those lips…if they weren’t exclusive…  
  
“We can’t…Ch-Chip,” he gasped, opening his eyes to find her even closer than before.  
  
She smirked wickedly and leaned into until her lips were mere inches from Jeff’s.  
  
“What Chip doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”


	11. Chapter 11

Chip murmured as he woke up, stretching before opening his eyes. He yawned widely and turned on his side, cuddling up to the pillow before closing his eyes again.  
  
His thoughts went to last night, and he sighed. He felt bad for leaving Jeff for so long to chat with his friends but he figured he wouldn’t mind. Besides, when he got back to where he thought Jeff would be waiting he was gone, and after looking through the house a couple of times, Chip gave up and just guessed he had found someone else to go home with.  
  
He opened his eyes and glanced over at his roommates bed - his empty bed, where Jeff should be. He was kind of upset Jeff didn’t come back last night, and also couldn’t help but be slightly annoyed that he went home with someone. The last time they were together Jeff said Chip was more important and he could be with girls anytime. What changed?  
  
Jeff meanwhile was making his way back across campus towards Chip’s dorm. He wasn’t sure he could face him. He felt like shit - no, worse than that, and he knew it had nothing to do with what was possibly the worst hangover he’d ever had.  
  
Still in the clothes from last night, he shielded his sensitive eyes from the sun, his mind reeling with disgust of what happened last night. What he l _et_ happen. Why did he have to drink so much? He shook his head. That was no excuse.   
  
It was official. He had become the worst friend in the world over night, and he couldn’t stand himself. He felt dirty, unclean, but in the kind of way he knew not even a hundred showers would fix.  
  
He was clutching a cup of coffee, but he hadn’t touched it. His stomach had already protested twice that morning, and he had emptied it’s contents into what he hoped was a trash can beside the bed he woke up in, and shortly after the toilet bowl.   
  
Before he knew it, he had managed to reach Chip’s dorm. He stared at the door as if knocking on it was the hardest thing he’d ever have to do. He smiled softly to himself when heard Chip singing on the other side - something he thought he recognised as Elvis, but there was more if a chance that it one of Chip’s own creations. He had always been a great singer, and Jeff had always adored listening to him play guitar and make u stupid little songs.

He knew he was putting off the inevitable, so he took a deep breath and knocked sharply on the door twice.

Chip looked up, his pants half way up his legs and yet to put a shirt on.

“Just a minute!”  he called, pulling up his jeans and doing them up.  Forgetting about a shirt, he ran to the door and pulled it open.

“Jeff! Was getting worried man,” he smiled and gestured for him to come in.

Jeff on the other hand, had wide eyes and was staring at Chip, momentarily dazed.

“Holy…Chip what the fuck!” he exclaimed, forgetting about everything that had happened.

Chip frowned. “What…?”

“You’re…you’re  _ripped_!” he said, suddenly fighting an urge to reach out and run his hands over Chip’s toned chest and abdomen. So  _that_  is what was different about him.

“I’m…” Chip looked down at his own stomach and suddenly felt self conscious and blushed slightly. “Jeff shut up,” he smirked and went back in to the room, but left the door open for Jeff to follow him.

Jeff shook his head and went in, closing it behind him. “When the hell did that happen?!” he asked. He had only seen Chip two weeks ago and there was no way…

Chip just shrugged. “Dunno…I joined a gym when I got here, been going most days…”

“But I didn’t notice before…” Jeff frowned, suddenly wondering why  _now_ he was only noticing Chip’s new body.

“Maybe you weren’t looking,” Chip teased, and winked before going to his wardrobe to put a shirt on.

Jeff blinked at the back of his head before the events of last night once again hit him like a ton of bricks. He suddenly felt very sick again, and had to hold his stomach as he sat on the edge of Chip’s bed. He looked at the cup of coffee in his hand again and had to fight back retching.

“Uh…want coffee? It’s still hot…” he held it up as Chip turned back, just tugging his t-shirt down to cover his abs.

“Oh that would be amazing…been craving it since I woke up!” He grabbed the cup off Jeff and took a sip. “Mmm…now that’s good. Thanks man.”

“Sure…” Jeff said quietly, looking at his feet. How was he ever supposed to go about this? He guessed whatever was going to happen he’d break up Chip’s relationship and their friendship at the same time.

Chip took in Jeff properly for the first time since he arrived back at the dorm. He chuckled.

“Well you look like crap.” He stated bluntly, smirking at Jeff as he sat down beside him.

“Yeah I feel like crap too…” Jeff mumbled, getting off the bed quickly, unable to be that close to Chip. He started pacing, running his hands through his hair.

“So you had fun last night then?” Chip smirked. “Was wondering where you got to…” he mused, trying to hide his disappointment.

“Yeah…uh…sorry about that…”Jeff muttered, still not able to look at his friend.

“Sorry about leaving you like that…got caught up in conversation…” Chip explained, feeling guilty again. Jeff seemed off, maybe he was mad at Chip for leaving him. “You’re not annoyed are you?” he asked, worry etched on his face.

Jeff stopped and turned to face him. He cringed at how Chip looked. He looked like he had let Jeff down, and it made Jeff feel even worse.

“No…no god no I’m not annoyed…not at all…” He said quickly.

“Oh thank god…” Chip smiled. “I was worried when you didn’t come home. You must have got lucky then,” he winked.

Jeff’s eyes widened.

“No…no not lucky…” he bit his lip nervously. “Not lucky at all…” he sighed, letting out a shaky breath. But Chip evidently took this the wrong way.

“Ah, too drunk?” he smirked, a knowing glint in his eye. “Hate when that happens…”

Jeff shook his head rapidly, making it pound even more.

“No…no not that…well yes…too drunk…but not…” he took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt the walls closing in on him and he was slowly starting to panic.

Chip frowned, getting off the bed and walking slowly over to his friend. He had never seen Jeff so stressed – he was usually so laid back about everything. He placed a hand on his lower back, jumping in fright when Jeff flinched back.

“Jeff what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice laced with concern. Concern Jeff didn’t feel he deserved.

Jeff closed his eyes again and sat on Chip’s roommate’s bed, putting his head in his hands.

“Jeff you’re scaring me…what’s wrong…” Chip asked again, sitting on his own bed and looking over at his friend, worry etched on his face.

Jeff took a deep breath.

“I have to tell you something…” Jeff gulped, his words slightly muffled as he still held his head in his hands.

Chip’s brow creased and he suddenly felt nervous. What could Jeff have to tell him that was getting him so distressed. “Jeff you can tell me anything…you know that…I’m your best friend…”

Jeff nearly let out a whimper at that, but he held it back. He couldn’t tell Chip. Not yet. He needed to clear his head, think about this.

“I…I need to take a shower…um…” Jeff lifted his head and had to close his eyes for a second as a wave of dizziness hit him. Man, he hated hangovers.

Chip cocked an eyebrow, slightly taken aback by that.

“Jeff are you okay?” he asked.

“What? Yeah…no…yeah, no I’m fine…I just…where’s the showers?” he asked again, he needed to get out of there.

“Oh em, they’re just down the hall on the right…” Chip frowned. Jeff was acting really weird. “Are you sure…what do you have to tell me…?” he asked again.

“Um…It can wait…I’ll tell you after my…em later…” he stuttered, getting up from the bed and quickly grabbing his bag. “See you in a bit…” he mumbled before bolting from the room.

“I…yeah okay…” Chip responded, but Jeff had already gone.

“What the hell just happened…” he said to himself, shaking his head and shrugging. He figured whatever it was, Jeff would tell him when he was ready. He just hoped he was okay.

It was only a few minutes later that there was another knock on his door. He glanced over at it, thinking Jeff couldn’t possibly be finished in the shower yet – he knew his friend better than that, which meant he’d stay in the shower until either the hot water ran out or his skin went wrinkly.

He got off his bed again and stalked towards the door to open it.

“Lauren!” he exclaimed, smiling when he saw her.

“Hey baby…” she smiled nervously and leaned in to kiss him. He invited her in and she glanced around the room and frowned.

“I’m glad you came, look I’m sorry about last night…” Chip started.

“What? Oh…” she responded. “No don’t be…I’m sorry,” she smiled and went to hug him. “Um…where’s Jeff?”

“Just in the shower…” he hugged her back then brought her to the bed so he could sit down and pulled her onto his lap. She put her hands around his neck and looked at him carefully.

“So he was here?” she continued.

“Well yeah…he’s staying here remember?” Chip said, chuckling.

“Yeah…so…you’ve seen him this morning then…”

“Yeah of course…I mean he didn’t come back last night…I lost him at the party…” he looked at her. “Why so interested?” he asked curiously.

“Oh…no reason…just wondering if you guys were okay…” she continued.

“Why wouldn’t we be?” he frowned.  She shrugged.

“He just seemed really annoyed at you last night…” she said carefully. Chip blinked at her.

“What? Really?” He asked. “Why?”

“He didn’t say…did you leave him or something?” she suggested.

“Well just for like…half an hour…but…he said he wasn’t annoyed about that,” he frowned. “Wait, when were you talking to him? I thought you left?”

“Uh…” she licked her lips nervously. “I didn’t…I just went outside,” she thought quickly. “I saw Jeff smoking and I went to talk to him.”

“Jeff was  _smoking?_ ” Chip asked in disbelief. “God damn it, what was he thinking?!” he asked, annoyed.

“Yeah I told him you wouldn’t like it…” she explained. “He told me not to tell you…I probably shouldn’t have…I’m sorry…” she hung her head.

“No…No it’s okay, I’m glad you did.” He soothed, rubbing her back. “No wonder he was acting so weird…”

“Chip maybe you shouldn’t say it to him…I mean I don’t want him to get mad at me, we only just met…I want him to like me.” She said with an air of innocence.

Chip nodded in understanding. “Yeah of course…I won’t…don’t worry.” He kissed her temple. “Hey why don’t we all go for breakfast?” he looked at his watch. “Or lunch at this stage,” he chuckled.

She smirked.

“Just the three of us?” she asked.

“Yeah, that okay?”

She grinned. “That’s more than okay. I want to get to know Jeff better anyway. ” 


	12. Chapter 12

Jeff closed his eyes as he let the hot shower water cascade down his body. He had hoped it would make him feel better - from the hangover, the anxiety, the guilt…but no. If anything, it made him feel worse for putting off telling Chip what he should have told him straight away.  
  
He ran the shampoo through his hair, massaging his scalp slowly as he leaned his weight on the shower wall. He continued his motions to the back of his head and suddenly hissed in pain and took his hands away when he pressed down on an extremely tender part of his skull.  
  
“What the…” He looked at his hand as if he was expecting there to be blood on his fingers, but there wasn’t, so he brought it back up to where he felt the pain. This time, more gently, he rubbed his fingers over the back of his head and winced, discovering a small bump there. He kept feeling it, his brow furrowed as he tried to remember how he got it. Had he fallen over last night? He didn’t think so. Opting to ignore it for now, he continued his shower.  
  
Too long a while later, he got out, dried himself and got dressed into clean jeans and a t-shirt. He looked in the mirror for a moment before shaking his head – he didn’t have the energy to do his hair, and besides, he could barely concentrate on anything but the impending conversation he knew he had to have with his best friend. Plus, it would involve seeing his reflection for too long and even  _he_  didn’t want to look at himself right now.  
  
He stalked back down the corridor to Chip’s room, nerves building in his stomach making him feel physically ill. Every fibre of his being wanted him to turn and run away, run back to his college and make up some excuse so he didn’t have to tell Chip what he did. But he couldn’t – if the guilt was bad now he had no idea what it would be like if he left without saying anything.  
  
It took him nearly thirty full seconds to push open Chip’s door once he reached it. He stood with his fingers squeezing the handle, taking deep, shaky breaths before he opened it and stormed in. He had to just get it over with.  
  
“Chip I have to tell you….” He trailed off and his eyes widened, his back pack falling to the ground with a thud. Chip was lying on his bed, his shirt fully open with Lauren straddling him. They were kissing heavily and it made Jeff cringe and turn away.  _What the hell is she doing here?_ _  
_  
“Oh shit…” Chip muttered, Lauren giggling as she climbed off him. “Sorry Jeff…” Chip flushed red with embarrassed as he sat up off the bed and started to button up his shirt again, Lauren doing the same to her own. “You were gone a while…we got…” he smirked at Lauren who winked at him. “Carried away…you know how it is,” he implied, grinning.  
  
“Oh I’d say Jeff knows  _exactly_ how it is,” Lauren giggled, watching Jeff and making Chip laugh in return.  
  
Jeff turned and blinked stupidly as the couple righted themselves – two more minutes and he wasn’t sure what he would have walked in on. Well actually he was pretty sure - he just didn’t want to think about it. Coming to his senses, he glared at Lauren who sent him a devious smirk.  
  
“Lauren…what are you doing here…” he growled. He couldn’t believe she had the nerve after the night before.  
  
“Eh I’m Chip’s girlfriend… _remember_?” she asked. “I wanted to come see him,” she smiled at Chip who smiled straight back. Jeff didn’t like the way she emphasised  _remember_.  _Now_  she remembered she has a boyfriend? Didn’t seem to matter much last night. The thought made Jeff’s stomach twist with nerves again.  
  
Chip frowned and looked between them when he saw Jeff glaring at her. “Hey Jeff play nice…” he asked, standing up off the bed. He had come to accept that Jeff was never going to like any of his girlfriends but he hoped he could  _at least_  pretend.  
  
“Chip it’s okay, he was plenty nice last night weren’t you Jeff?” she asked innocently.  
  
Jeff’s head snapped towards her and his eyes widened. What the fuck was she doing? He opted not to answer and continued to glare instead. Even if he had wanted to say something he wasn’t sure he could. The situation just got a whole lot more complicated. How was he supposed to talk to Chip with  _her_  here?  
  
Chip just rolled his eyes at his best friend and went over to sit on the desk. “So what do you have to tell me?” He asked, placing his feet on the chair and leaning on his knees.  
  
Jeff finally tore his dangerous glare away from Lauren and looked at Chip again. He deflated completely and guilt clawed at his insides.  
  
“It’s…I…It’s nothing. I can tell you later…” he shrugged, looking at the floor.  _Great, put it off for longer, that will help…_ _  
_  
“Um…If it’s about the smoking…Lauren already told me…” Chip said carefully, trying not portray how disappointed in Jeff he was. It was his choice, he knew he had no right to get involved - but he wish Jeff didn’t feel like he had to hide it.  
  
Jeff’s head snapped up again. He was going to get whiplash if this kept happening. He stared at Chip in confusion then at Lauren. She told Chip she was smoking? And he wasn’t mad?  
  
“I…wha…you told him?” he asked Lauren. She cocked her head and tried to hide a particularly conniving smirk.  
  
She sighed. “Jeff I’m really sorry…I know you asked me not to…but Chip’s your best friend…he deserves to know.” she explained, that convincing innocent air around her once again. “You shouldn’t keep secrets,” she added, implication drowning in her words making Jeff look at her in disbelief.  
  
“What?” Jeff exclaimed, completely confused now. What was she talking about? It couldn’t be about what happened…Chip would be more upset than this…  
  
“Jeff…” Chip started, getting off the desk and walking towards his friend. He placed a hand on Jeff’s shoulder. “She told me you were smoking last night…why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, obviously hurt Jeff had kept this from him.  
  
“What?!” Jeff said again stupidly, then quickly caught on to what Lauren was doing.  _That evil bitch._  He caught her smug grin in the corner of his eye and all but lost the plot.  
  
“Chip I wasn’t smoking!” he exclaimed. “ _She_  was!” he pointed at Lauren who looked shocked.

Chip looked over at Lauren and then back at Jeff.  
  
“Jeff don’t do this…come on, you can tell me…” he said carefully.  
  
“I  _wasn’t_ smoking!” Jeff repeated angrily. “I don’t…I don’t smoke! Chip I swear to god…Lauren was smoking,  _she_  asked  _me_  not to tell you! I told her you hated it!” he was yelling now, panicking and confused all at the same time. What the hell was going on!?  
  
“Jeff don’t lie to him…” Lauren jumped in. “You were hammered remember? You were smoking outside when we were talking, and you practically begged me not to tell Chip…”  
  
Jeff gaped at her with his mouth open.  “I didn’t…that was you…how could you…what…I wasn’t smoking!” he yelled again, looking at Chip. “Chip come on…you gotta believe me…”  He was pleading now. It wasn’t even the fact Chip thought he smoked, it was the fact Lauren was purposely trying to blame him for something she did, and he hated the way Chip was looking at him now. Chip wouldn’t believe  _her_ over him right?  
  
“Jeff…I think I’d know if my own girlfriend smoked…” he said carefully, still unsure.  
  
“But she does! I saw her…” he trailed off as he watched Lauren get up from the bed and frowned at her.  
  
“Sorry Jeff I’m not having you blame me for this…” she explained, picking up the blazer he was wearing last night that he had thrown on the floor when he came in earlier. “It’s not fair on me or Chip…” she continued, rooting through the pockets until she took out a half-empty packet of Marlboro lights and held them up.  
  
Jeff’s eyes widened. He couldn’t believe it…how did they get there? What had she done?  
  
“They…they’re not  mine…” he stuttered, so much in shock his words came out as a whisper. “You had them…they’re yours…”  
  
Chip shook his head gently, really disappointed that Jeff would lie to his face. He didn’t even care that he smoked, it was the fact he was lying and trying to blame his girlfriend. Okay so Jeff didn’t like her…but this was ridiculous. He did his best to hide his annoyance.  
  
“Jeff…I get why you didn’t want to tell me…I know you know how much I hate it…but don’t put the blame on Lauren…” he said.  
  
Jeff looked like he was about to burst into tears. This was wrong, all of this…nothing was going the way he wanted…and  _god_  he still had to tell Chip what had happened…  
  
“I’m not…Chip I swear…please believe me…it was her…” he pleaded, his eyes boring desperately into Chip’s.  
  
Chip frowned slightly at his best friend. He wanted to believe him. He really did, but all the evidence was pointing towards Jeff lying about the whole thing. He shook his head again. He didn’t want an argument, Jeff was only there until the next day. He decided it would be best to just leave it for now.  
  
“Look, let’s just forget about it okay?” He offered, “There’s no point in talking about it now.” He explained, taking the box of cigarettes of Lauren and throwing them in the trash.  
  
“But Chip I…” Jeff began.  
  
“Let’s forget about it Jeff alright?” He cut him off. “Come on, let’s go get breakfast,” he smiled at his friend and opened the door.  
  
“I…okay…” Jeff gave up, watching as Chip left the room. He turned his gaze to Lauren and his eyes narrowed dangerously.  
  
“You…” He growled, his voice barely above a whisper, but it was dripping with fury.  
  
She just smirked evilly and spoke in a whisper. “Come on Jeff, wouldn’t want to keep your  _best friend_  waiting,” she grinned, way too happy with herself for Jeff’s liking. “Looks like he’s not going to believe anything you say about last night now, is he?” she added dangerously before leaving the room and following Chip.  
  
Jeff stood in the middle of the room in total shock before he could even think about following.  What the hell had just happened? She was right…she had set this whole thing up…now what was he supposed to do? 


	13. Chapter 13

_Every inch of him was screaming at him to put a stop this. He had to think of Chip, he couldn’t do it. But those eyes…those lips…if they weren’t exclusive…_ __  
  
“We can’t…Ch-Chip,” he gasped, opening his eyes to find her even closer than before.  
  
She smirked wickedly and leaned into until her lips were mere inches from Jeff’s.  
  
“What Chip doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” 

_Jeff could feel her breath on his lips. He frowned and closed his eyes for a split second. He had to stop this, but that split second was enough for Lauren to lean in and kiss him._

_His eyes shot open wide and he made a noise of protest and shock. His lips stayed on hers way too long for his liking and he seemed to be trapped between her and the wall. He felt like he couldn’t move._

_Then, coming to his senses and with a burst of strength, he pulled roughly away from her, smacking the back of his head against the wall behind him, his body uncoordinated clumsy from the alcohol._

_“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” he exclaimed, pushing her back and making her stumble. She smirked._

_“You kissed me.” She said matter of factly, a sly grin on her face._

_“What?! No I didn’t you kissed me!” he cried in panic._

_“Are you sure? Come on…you loved it…” she crooned, stepping towards him again and moving in for the kill a second time._

_“Get away from me!” Jeff exclaimed, holding his hand out so she wouldn’t come any closer._

_“Why don’t we just get out of here, no one has to know Jeff…” she purred, grabbing his outstretched hand and moving it to place it over her breast._

_“Ah! Stop that!” Jeff yelled, yanking his hand back._

_“You want me,” she stated boldly, that horrible smirk still plastered on her face._

_“No,” Jeff stated. “I really don’t.”_

_“Then why did you let me get so close?” she grinned evilly._

_“I…You…I wasn’t thinking. That shouldn’t of happened.” He stuttered._

_“You think Chip will see it the same way?” she asked innocently. “Me and you, hiding outside, me pressed up against you…” she moved quickly again until their torsos were touching. “Kissing…” she whispered._

_“God dammit!” Jeff pushed her away again, more roughly than he intended in his panic, so she fell to the ground._

_“Shit!” he swore and helped her up. He didn’t mean to do that. “Sorry I didn’t…fuck…” he let go of her the minute she was standing again. “Just leave me alone Lauren.” He begged. “This shouldn’t have happened.” He shook his head to try and clear it. He couldn’t see or think straight through the alcohol. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all._

_She smirked as she brushed herself off, the fall not even affecting her. “Chip’s going to be furious with you…” she smirked. “His best friend trying it on with his girlfriend.” She shook her head and tutted before walking away, leaving Jeff standing there in shock._

“Jeff what are you having?” Chip asked, making Jeff jump out of his thoughts about the night before.

“Huh?” he asked stupidly, looking up from the table to see a waitress standing over them. “Oh eh…just water for me…” he said, bringing his hand up to rub the tender lump  on the back of his head. He winced when he felt it. At least he remembered how he got it now. Not that it made him feel any better.

He was sitting across from Lauren and Chip at a small booth in a diner just outside campus. The last thing he wanted to do was eat, and the way Lauren kept smirking at him had him feeling even more ill than before.

Once they had ordered and the waitress left them, Chip looked at Jeff in concern – he knew there was something off about him, there had been since he got back that morning. He wondered what he had to tell Chip, since the smoking thing obviously wasn’t what it was. He frowned as Jeff continued to look at the table, out the window, his hands – anywhere but at Chip.

“Jeff?” he asked in concern.

“Y-Yeah?” Jeff answered nervously, lifting his head to look at Chip. He couldn’t stand to meet his gaze after what had happened.

“Are you okay?” he cocked his head.

 _No I’m not okay. You have an evil bitch of a girlfriend and she’s out to get me_ Jeff thought. “Me? Yeah, fine…absolutely fine,” Jeff said a bit too quickly, scratching his head and biting his lip.  _Not fine, not fine, not fine._

Chip shook his head slightly. He didn’t believe one word of what Jeff was saying. He knew his friend long enough to know when he was lying, but he decided to leave it alone for now. Jeff would come to him when he was ready.

“I’m just gonna run to the bathroom,” he announced, kissing Lauren before standing up and walking off. Jeff watched him go before rounding on her the minute Chip was out of sight

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing…” he growled, placing his hands on the table and glaring at her.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she smiled innocently.

“You’re a conniving bitch, when Chip finds out what you did you’re done for.” Jeff threatened.

“Oh am I?” she asked, chuckling. “And why would I be done for when it was  _you_  who kissed  _me_  last night?” she cocked her head and raised her eyebrows.

“What?!” Jeff asked in shock. “You kissed me!” he accused, but keeping his voice down as best he could.

“I guess that’s your word against mine isn’t it Jeff?.” She scowled at him.

“Oh and you really think Chip would believe you over his best friend?” Jeff laughed. “Yeah right.” He scoffed and crossed his arms.

She smirked at that. “Oh, is this the best friend who’s already lied to him and blamed something on me this morning?” she asked. “Yeah, sure, of course he’s gonna believe you.”

Jeff’s eyes widened.

“You planned this…” he whispered in shock.

“Well of course I did.” She laughed. “Had to have some security if you turned me down didn’t I? I slipped that packet of cigarettes into your jacket last night when you were feeling me up.” She smirked.

“I was not feeling you up!” Jeff cried. “Lauren I swear to god if you don’t tell the truth when I tell Chip you-“

“Oh you’re not going to tell him,” she chuckled, reaching over and dragging a finger up the back of Jeff’s hand which he had placed on the table again. Jeff wrenched it back almost immediately and scowled.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not going to tell Chip. You’ll chicken out. Just like you did last night with me.” She chuckled devilishly.

“No I won’t. He deserves to know what a fucking bitch you are,” he spat.

“Jeff,  _sweetheart_ , if you were going to tell him, you’d have told him by now.” She explained. “And besides, you don’t exactly come off as an angel in this story. You think he’ll just forgive you even if he does believe you?” she asked.

“I…well…” Jeff stuttered. She was right. Maybe he didn’t initiate it, but he didn’t stop it straight away either. Chip was going to be furious with him.

“Exactly.” Lauren chuckled. “Tell him. I  _dare_  you.” She growled.

“What are you guys talking about?” Chip grinned as he slid back in beside Lauren. Jeff’s eyes widened and Lauren grinned.

“Oh nothing, Jeff was just telling me he had to tell you something,” She looked at Jeff and smiled innocently. “Weren’t you Jeff?”

Chip looked at him expectantly. “Oh? What do you want to tell me Jeff?” he asked, smiling at his friend with a  hopeful expression.

Jeff blinked at him, opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. He glanced at Lauren who was smirking, and shook her head ever so slightly in warning.

“N-Nothing. It doesn’t matter,”  he muttered. 


	14. Chapter 14

Jeff didn’t even want to be there anymore. He couldn’t stand it. The way Chip looked at Lauren. The way Lauren kept smirking at him when Chip wasn’t looking. The way Chip kept looking at him in concern. He couldn’t take it.   
  
They were back in Chip’s dorm, and Jeff was lying on his roommate’s bed and staring at the ceiling, trying to block out the conversation Lauren and Chip were having about what they should do later that night. Jeff wanted to scream. He wanted to run away. His stomach was torn to shreds with guilt and it was making feel horribly sick. He had to tell Chip – he couldn’t keep it to himself any more. But what if he didn’t believe him?  
  


Even if he  _did_  believe him…what would he think? His girlfriend and his best friend. They kissed. Yes it may have been for a split second and was certainly extremely one sided but it still happened. Jeff was pretty sure he wouldn’t be so understanding. But why would he be? Jeff had betrayed him in the worst possible way. He had messed up big time, and he felt he didn’t even deserve to be there. Be in Chip’s dorm staying with him. Being his best friend. He closed his eyes and tried to block it all out.  
  
“What do you think Jeff?” Chip asked, the voice that Jeff loved so much breaking through his thoughts.  
  
Jeff sat bolt upright. Almost as if he’d been frightened. “What? Think about what? I don’t…”  
  
“Jesus Jeff, relax…was just wondering what you wanted to do for dinner later…” Chip frowned.

“Oh…” Jeff breathed a sigh of relief and lay back down on the mattress and rubbed his hands over his face. Chip on the other hand, was getting impatient with Jeff’s strange behaviour.

“Okay that’s it,” he snapped, “Tell me what the hell is going on with you, you’ve been weird all morning!” He exclaimed. “Are you mad at me or something? What did you have to tell me earlier?” he asked, an edge of slight panic in his voice. “Has that something to do with why you’re being so weird?”

Jeff’s eyes widened and he shook his head almost childishly as he sat up again.

“Nothing. I…I…can’t…it’s nothing,” he stuttered, glancing at Lauren quickly before returning his gaze to Chip.

“No Jeff it’s definitely  _something_ , and I’m not letting this go until you tell me!” he cried, standing up and crossing his arms. “I mean it Jeff, we can’t enjoy the rest of the weekend if you’re gonna be all weird with me…you haven’t even been able to look at me properly since you got back!”

It wasn’t that noticeable, but Jeff picked up on it. Chip was hurt Jeff wouldn’t talk to him. They had never been able to hide their feelings from each other and this was no different.

It made him feel even worse than he already did – the fact Chip  _knew_ there was something up and Jeff was purposely avoiding telling him. He shook his head again, this time thinking.

Now he thought about it, why should he have to be the one to tell him?  _She_  was the one who started this mess.  _She_  was the one who tried to kiss him. He grit his teeth as he got increasingly angry. It was time he grew some balls and stood up for himself. Fuck her.

“Well?” Chip asked, looking at Jeff imploringly now. “Jeff why can’t you just-“

“I think you need to ask Lauren what happened last night,” Jeff interrupted him, turning his gaze to Lauren and cocking an eyebrow. He wasn’t going to let her mess with him anymore. He was nervous – nervous as hell – but he had to do this. Had to expose her. He just hoped it would work.

“I…what?” Chip asked, a blank, confused expression on his features as he turned to look at his girlfriend. Whatever he had been expecting Jeff to say, it wasn’t that. Jeff was delighted to see that she looked completely in shock – she obviously hadn’t expected him to do that. Good.

“What do you mean I have to ask Lauren…” Chip asked carefully, now looking between his best friend and girlfriend. “What’s going on?”

Jeff watched as Lauren sighed, guilt clearly etched on her face as she looked up at her boyfriend.

“Chip…baby…I don’t know how to tell you this…” she started quietly, and Jeff was actually surprised. “Something happened last night…em,” she continued, looking down at her lap. “I should have told you earlier…but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it…I’ve felt horrible all morning…”

Jeff scoffed out loud but both ignored him.

“Lauren?” Chip questioned, then sat down beside her. “It’s okay, what’s going on…” he soothed, rubbing her back gently. Jeff sneered and shook his head. She didn’t deserve to be felt sorry for. But he knew Chip wouldn’t be so sympathetic once he found out what happened. Jeff just hoped he would understand that it wasn’t his fault. He hoped he could forgive him.

“I was so drunk…I didn’t know what was going on….I…” she sniffed and started breathing heavily. “I’m so sorry Chip…I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean for it to happen…I shouldn’t have drank that much…” she whimpered and threw herself at him.

Chip was slightly surprised but held her close all the same.

“Shhh…it’s okay…tell me what’s happened…” he lulled. Jeff was sickened to see that he almost looked worried about her. Chip looked at him in question and Jeff just shook his head with a disgusted look on his face. It made Chip frown even more but Jeff didn’t explain further. This sob story act she was putting on wasn’t going to last long. Chip would finally see her for who she really is.

She whimpered suddenly, pulling away from Chip and burying her face in her hands. “Jeff tried to kiss me last night…” 


	15. Chapter 15

Chip stared at her in shock for a moment, mouth agape and eyes wide. He then slowly turned his head to look at Jeff – who was sitting with wide eyes and trying to let what she just said sink in. Did she just…

“What…” Chip asked her, but was still staring at Jeff. He didn’t want to believe it…

“What!” Jeff cried, finally finding his voice and standing up quickly. “She’s ly-“

“He begged me not to tell you…” Lauren sobbed, cutting Jeff off. “He tried to kiss me…twice…and he pushed up against me and felt me up and oh god Chip it was horrible…” she cried, burying her head in his shoulder.

“THAT’S NOT TRUE!!” Jeff shouted dramatically, walking towards the couple. “Chip she tried to kiss me…no she  _did_ kiss me!!” he yelled.

Chip looked at his best friend, then down at his sobbing girlfriend. He was in complete shock. He didn’t know who or what to believe…

“I knew he’d do this…that’s why I was so scared to tell you…” She continued.

“You’re LYING!” Jeff shouted. “Chip she’s lying…she came on to  _me_ …said she wanted sex…that you weren’t exclusive…” he stuttered, completely panicking as the words tumbled out of his mouth. This couldn’t be happening.

Lauren whimpered again. “How dare you…how dare you say that I said me and Chip aren’t exclusive!” she accused, looking at him with tears in her eyes. 

“But that’s what you said!!” Jeff yelled. “Then you kissed me! And tried to again when I pushed you away!” he looked at Chip who looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Chip you have to believe me…I wouldn’t do that to you…you know I wouldn’t…” he begged.

“I…I just…” Chip started quietly, looking at his crying girlfriend then back up at Jeff. He didn’t know what to say.

“He threatened me Chip…he shoved me onto the ground when I tried to pull away…I told him to stop…,” she sniffed. “I couldn’t tell you this morning because he said you’d never believe me over him…” she cried, wiping her eyes.

“Well of course he won’t!” Jeff shouted, becoming completely flustered. “Because it’s not true! You believe me right Chip?” he looked at his friend desperately.

“And then he blamed me for the smoking thing this morning and I didn’t know if I could ever tell you…” Lauren continued as if Jeff hadn’t said anything.

“THAT WAS YOU TOO!” Jeff yelled, getting angrier by the second. “You’re a conniving little bitch! She’s lying Chip! She’s –“

“Jeff I think you should calm down.” Chip suddenly said quite sternly. It made Jeff shut his mouth immediately. He didn’t like the way Chip was looking at him. “Is this why you were so weird with me this morning? You tried to kiss Lauren last night?” he asked, standing to meet Jeff. He didn’t want to believe his friend would do something like this, but why would Lauren lie?

“What? No! Chip I didn’t…she kissed me…I was so drunk I didn’t know what was happening until it happened…I shouldn’t have even let her get that close…but Chip you have to believe me…” he begged. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe that this girl was that horrible.

“You were really drunk…” Chip agreed, but in a way that made Jeff nervous.

“I knew this would happen. I  _knew_  it!” Lauren suddenly piped up, standing off the bed. “I knew you’d believe him over me! That was Jeff’s plan! To get rid of me!” she sobbed. “You told me yourself that he never liked your girlfriend’s in the past Chip!”

“Lauren don’t go!” Chip exclaimed, grabbing her arm. “Come on…just…”

“Do you believe me?” She asked, sniffling slightly and wiping her eyes. “Because if you don’t then I’m not staying here to be insulted. Especially with  _him_  here.” She sobbed again.

Jeff was shaking his head. He was so confused and in shock about the whole situation he didn’t even know what to say. He felt like he was fighting a losing battle – that no matter what he said it was going to make it worse.

“I do…” Chip said quietly. Both Jeff and Lauren whipped their heads up to look at him. “I do believe you…” he confirmed, then turned to Jeff.

“Why…why would you do that Jeff?” he asked, betrayal and pain etched into his features. He couldn’t understand – couldn’t  _believe_  Jeff would do such a thing, but the evidence against him was far too high.

“I…I didn’t…” Jeff stuttered, his eyes brimming with tears. “It was her Chip I swear to you…” he said desperately. He had to believe him. He _had_  to. He couldn’t lose Chip over this…not now…

“Why are you lying?” Chip asked suddenly. “That’s all you’ve been doing all morning!” he accused. He was mad at Jeff. Yes, because he tried it on with his girlfriend, but on top of that he was still denying it and lying.

“I’m not lying! She is! I don’t know how many times I have to tell-“

“Why would she lie about this? She has no reason to!” Chip interrupted him getting angrier by the second.

“But neither do I!” Jeff retorted. “Why do you believe her over me??”  

“Because she’s right, you’ve never liked any of my girlfriends…” Chip snapped harshly.

Jeff physically winced from the venom in Chip’s voice. He’d never heard him speak like that to him before.

“But…but I’d never… _ever_  betray you like that Chip…” he explained, swallowing down the lump that had formed in his throat.

“I want to believe you Jeff…” Chip started, but shook his head.

“Can’t you see what she’s doing??” Jeff exclaimed, throwing his arms out wildly. “She’s trying to turn you against me!”

Chip licked his lips and looked down at his feet. He closed his eyes for a moment then turned to look at Lauren who was still in tears. It broke his heart to see her like that.

“Or maybe you’re trying to turn me against her…” Chip said quietly, meeting Jeff’s eyes again. “From the moment I told you about her you were nothing but disappointed…” he remembered.

“Chip…I….come on that has nothing to do with this…I didn’t kiss her…”

“Yes you did!” Lauren but in again. “You were so drunk and kept saying Chip didn’t have to know!” she cried, practically hiding behind Chip.

“Lauren it’s okay,” Chip soothed and seemed to stand protectively in front of her. He turned back to Jeff again. “I just can’t believe you’d do this Jeff…I thought we were best friends?”

“We are Chip!” Jeff said suddenly, getting panicky and frustrated. Why wouldn’t he believe him? “That’s why I’d never  _ever_ …” he trailed off as he glanced at Lauren who was still behind Chip. She still had tears in her eyes, but they were seemingly fake as now she had a smug smirk plastered on her face as she watched Jeff – who’s eyes narrowed dangerously at the sight.

“You little bitch…” he muttered, starting towards her. “You lying, deceitful little…”

“JEFF!” Chip shouted angrily and placed his hands on Jeff’s chest to stop him coming any closer. “Stay away from her!”

“Look at her!! Look at her smirking there like she hasn’t just messed everything up!” Jeff exclaimed, his eyes becoming watery again and flailing manically. Chip automatically turned to look at her but she had resumed her sad, puppy dog teary expression that made Jeff all but lose his mind and cry out.

“Chip you have to believe me! Please!” he cried, putting his hands on Chip’s shoulders. “Please…” he begged, quieter, more desperate this time. “Look at me…look at me and tell me you think I would do something like this to you…lie to you like this…” he implored, gazing right into Chip’s blue eyes.

Chip stared back for a moment and he had never wanted to believe Jeff more in his entire life. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t get over the facts that were in front of him.

“I think you should go…” he murmured.

Jeff let go of him straight away and backed away in shock. “Wh-what?”

“I think you should leave Jeff…” Chip repeated, unable to look at him. He felt so betrayed, so let down.

Jeff shook his head frantically. Whatever he had expected to happen the last think he thought Chip would do was make him leave.

“What? No…no I’m not going anywhere…we need to talk about this! I can explain exactly what happened and how she tried to-“

“I don’t want to hear it Jeff,” Chip said sternly. He still couldn’t meet his eyes. “Just go.” He said again,

“No…”

“Jeff…”

“No! No I’m not leaving! You don’t want me to leave, I know you believe me! You have to! You shouldn’t trust a word she says Chip!” he exclaimed in a panic. “If you can look me in the eye right now and tell me you don’t believe me then I’ll go.!” He tried. He felt like it was his only hope.

Chip blinked and finally met Jeff’s gaze. He stared into the hazel eyes he had always trusted with his entire life. But now he just felt uncertainty, treachery.

“I don’t believe you…” he said firmly. It was harder than he thought.

Jeff stared at him for a long moment in disbelief. It was his turn to feel betrayed. He blinked and a single tear fell from his eye, before nodding.

“I get it…” he sniffed, turning immediately to grab his bag and stuff the few things he left lying around into it. “I get it. You’re choosing her over me. That’s great Chip…that’s fucking great!” he yelled angrily, slinging the bag over his shoulder.  “If you let me leave, don’t expect me to come back!” he threatened, pointing at the door. “Ever!”

Chip swallowed thickly but stood his ground. He raised his chin slightly from his chest but didn’t say anything.

“Really? You’re just going let me leave huh?” Jeff asked, his voice shaking. “Thirteen years of friendship and you’re picking a girl who doesn’t even care about you and you’ve known for two fucking seconds over me??” he questioned. He stared at Chip and waited for him to say something. To apologise. To ask him to stay.

He didn’t.

“Fine. Fine, I’ll go.” Jeff sniffed, his resolve breaking slightly as he walked towards the door. “You’ll realise you’re wrong Chip, and don’t expect me to just forgive you!” he yelled childishly. “This is it!” he opened the door, “ And I hope you’re happy,” He sneered and Lauren before stepping out into the hallway and slamming the door behind him.

 

He did his best not to break down as he walked the corridor away from Chip’s door.


	16. Chapter 16

“Jeff you’ve been moping around for weeks!” Dave whined, collapsing on his bed in frustration. “I’m beginning to think you’re a pretty shitty roommate.”

“No I haven’t…” Jeff pouted, who was lying on his bed with his arms crossed, staring at the ceiling with his headphones in. He was listening to sad, depressing songs. Anything with any kind of up beat pissed him off these days. It was the only thing he’d done, besides studying (mainly to distract himself), since he’d returned from his visit with Chip. That  _disastrous_  visit.  

“Yes you have. Ever since you got back from –“

“Can we not talk about it please?” Jeff pulled his head phones out in frustration and sat up, crossing his legs and leaning back against the wall. He sighed sadly. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Shocking…” Dave said sarcastically. Jeff glared at him. “Oh come on you didn’t even tell me what happened! “ Dave exclaimed.

“That’s because I don’t want to.” Jeff said stubbornly. Dave let out an impatient breath.  He was beginning to worry about his friend - he was sure he hadn’t talked to Chip since he’d returned, and since he cut his trip short – Dave guessed whatever had happened, that it wasn’t good.

“You know you’ll feel better if you talk about it…” Dave probed.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Jeff pouted again.

“You’re being very difficult.”

“Am not.”

“Are too…” Dave smirked.

“Dave…”

“Can I guess what happened?”

“No.”

“Please…”

“You’re going to anyway…”

“Good point.” Dave smirked and stood up. “I’m guessing you and Chip had a fight…” he said knowingly.

Jeff raised an eyebrow and looked at his friend. “No shit, Sherlock.” He scowled.

“What was it about?”

“I told you I’m not telling you…”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

Dave reached for his pillow and hurled it at Jeff, hitting him square in the face.

“Ow!!” Jeff exclaimed, grabbing the pillow and raising it back threateningly. “What the fuck was that for?”

“I’m not telling you,” Dave smirked.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to…”

Jeff narrowed his eyes and dropped the pillow.

“Very funny.” Jeff sighed. “Look, there’s nothing that can be done about it okay? So talking won’t help.  He won’t return my calls… my texts…or my emails…he’s really mad at me. I fucked up big time.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing! Well…not nothing…but it’s not even my fault!” he said desperately.

Dave sat back down and surveyed his friend. He’d been having suspicions about the two “friends” before Jeff had gone to visit him, and he had teased Jeff about it countless times. Maybe…

“You know Jeff,” Dave started carefully. “You can’t help how you feel…Chip shouldn’t be mad at you for that…”

Jeff turned his head and looked at Dave in complete confusion.

“What?” he asked.

“I mean if you told him how you feel –“

“Told him how I feel about what?” Jeff interrupted. He hadn’t a clue what Dave was talking about.

“How you feel about him…” Dave frowned, he had the feeling they weren’t on the same wavelength.

“What?!” Jeff exclaimed.

“You mean you didn’t tell him…?”

“No I didn’t!” Jeff said, just a little too loudly in Dave’s opinion. “I mean, there’s nothing to tell!” Jeff corrected himself quickly.

Dave smirked.

“Stop that,” Jeff glared. “There’s  _nothing_  to tell.” He repeated firmly.

“Then why have you been acting like you’ve gone through a break up the last few weeks?”

“I have not!”

“Yes you have.”  

“Dave!” Jeff exclaimed in annoyance.

“Jeff it’s okay you know…”

“No. It’s  _not_ okay.” He huffed stubbornly. “None of this is.”

There was a moment’s silence between the two friends, Jeff glaring a hole into the carpet and Dave waiting expectantly. Eventually, Jeff sighed sadly.

“I’m sorry…” he said quietly.

“It’s okay,” Dave smiled.

“It’s just…I miss him ya know? He’s my best friend and he won’t even talk to me. I don’t mean to take it out on you…” he finally met Dave’s eyes and gave him a half smile.

“Like I said it’s okay,” he grinned. “But if you didn’t tell him how you feel,” Jeff glared at him again but Dave ignored him and continued. “Then what happened?”

“I don’t-“

“Jeff just tell me!” Dave exclaimed. Jeff groaned and covered his face in his hands.

“Chip’s girlfriend…” he began timidly.

“You were jealous!”  Dave interrupted excitedly.

“No!” Jeff pouted. “She…she came on to me one night…I was hammered…and she kissed me.”

Dave’s eyes widened to saucers. “Holy shit…”

“Yep.”

“And Chip caught you?”

“Not exactly…” Jeff took a deep breath and relayed the story of what happened while he was away visiting Chip. It hurt to relive it, but Dave made it easier by shouting “That bitch!” or some variation every time he brought up Lauren. It made Jeff feel immensely better.  After half an hour and a much more detailed explanation than Jeff had planned, Dave sat shaking his head in disbelief.

“I can’t believe Chip didn’t believe you…what the hell?” Dave scowled. “I thought he was supposed to be your friend.”

“He  _is_  my friend!” Jeff exclaimed, then sighed sadly. “Well he was…I don’t blame him…there wasn’t much evidence on my side.” He shrugged.

“Jeff stop defending him, I can’t believe he just cut you out of his life like that. Over a  _girl_  of all things. ”

Jeff just shrugged again and Dave could plainly see how upset Jeff was over the whole situation.

“I feel…” Jeff paused, trying to find the right words. “I feel lost without him.” he said quietly, as if admitting it was hard to do. “We’ve never gone this long without some kind of contact…” he trailed off and swallowed down a lump in his throat. “I hate it.” He finished. Dave was right. Jeff wouldn’t admit it, but he was right. It did feel like he was going through a break up. The worst break up he could ever imagine. It was like his heart actually  _hurt._

Dave stood up off his bed and walked over to Jeff’s, before sitting down beside him. “It’ll be okay,” he reassured, putting a comforting arm around his friend and feeling Jeff lean against him. “He’ll come around, I know he will. The two of you are way too close to let this come in between you.” He rubbed Jeff’s shoulder.

“How do you know?” Jeff asked, almost childlike.

“Because you love each other.” Dave smiled. “That much is obvious.”

Jeff blinked at him for a moment and frowned in thought.

“Oh.”


	17. Chapter 17

Chip was sitting on his bed in his dorm room, watching a movie on his laptop with his girlfriend Lauren. He wasn’t really paying attention to the film or her, as his mind was on other things entirely. Like it had been the last few weeks.

He was starting to regret telling Jeff to leave that weekend a couple of week ago. Maybe he was too harsh. He  _did_  miss him terribly…and the texts and emails Jeff had been constantly sending him with apologies (even though he still insisted it wasn’t his fault) weren’t helping one bit.

He sighed inwardly and reached for his phone. Jeff had sent him another long email that morning, and he read it over and over again (like he had done with the others) and he just couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something he was missing. Could Jeff be telling the truth? It didn’t make any sense. Either way, he wasn’t as angry as he had been that weekend. Maybe he over reacted.

Being discreet as he could so Lauren wouldn’t ask him questions, he opened the email app on his phone and once again read the one Jeff had sent him earlier.

_Hey Chip,_

_I’ve lost count of the amount of these I’ve sent you…but I guess I can’t help it._

_Until all this happened, do you realise we’ve never gone more than three and a half days without speaking since we met in elementary school? It was that time you went on vacation with your family, I think it was a safari or something because you couldn’t find a phone to call me for three and a half days. I think we were seven. I remember crying to Mom one night because I thought you weren’t my friend anymore. She only laughed at me and promised you would. I was so distraught I wouldn’t believe her. But then you called the next day and everything was okay again._

_I keep hoping that’s what happened. That maybe you’ve lost your phone. And your laptop. And you’ve no one else around you that will lend you a phone to call me. Maybe you’ve forgotten my number. Or I’m sending my texts and emails to the wrong address. I know it’s (stupid) wishful thinking on my part, but knowing you’re ignoring me hurts too much._

_This is all such a mess. I wish you’d believe when I say it wasn’t my fault. None of it was. The smoking, the kiss…that was Lauren. She’s a liar Chip, and she’s manipulating you, can’t you see it? I know I’ve said this a hundred times, and I know I still have my part to play in it too, I was too drunk, I shouldn’t have let her do that, but I need you to know that I would never, ever intentionally hurt you. You’re my best friend Chip. In fact best friend doesn’t even describe what you are to me. You’re my other half, man._

_It hurts to know you’d believe her over me. It really does. You know me, Chip. You’ve known me since we were five. Do you honestly think I’d do this to you? I couldn’t. I physically couldn’t do it. The only time I think I’ve ever lied to you was when we were twelve. I was helping your Mom plan a surprise birthday party for you, do you remember? You became suspicious and asked me, but I told you it was nothing. I actually felt guilty hiding it from you, and your Mom thought I was going to ruin the surprise. It worked out ok in the end though._

_I’ve been driving Dave crazy. He says I’ve been moping around the last few weeks. I didn’t think it was true until he said it. I guess I just miss you a lot more than I thought. I told him what happened between us last night. He made me, because at first I didn’t want to because I didn’t think it would help. But it did. It was kinda nice to talk about it. Get it off my chest, because it’s all I’ve been able to think about._

_He thinks you’re being an idiot. He told me you’d come around because we’re too close to let this come between us. Then he said because we love each other. And I do, ya know? I love you. You’re my best friend. You always have been  I need you Chip._

_I know I’ve been repeating myself. But please. I need you to forgive me. Even if you don’t believe me…just forgive me. I can’t go any longer without talking to you._

_Jeff._

The nerves in Chip’s stomach tightened. In all honesty, he hated not talking to Jeff too. That was the worst part about all of this. He couldn’t send a text, or call him, like he usually could, and he was finding it difficult. He glanced over at Lauren, then back at his phone. Was that what he was doing? Believing her over Jeff?

That was what he was struggling with the most. He couldn’t understand why Lauren would make all that up, like Jeff said. She had no motive to do that. She hadn’t even known Jeff, so why would she bother? He had gone over and over it, and he just couldn’t understand. All the facts added up against Jeff. How he had never liked his girlfriends, how he had been wary about Lauren before he had even met her – Chip had even thought Jeff was annoyed that he had a girlfriend at first.

And if Lauren really was the one to kiss him…why didn’t Jeff just tell him that morning? He sighed again. He just couldn’t deal with it any more.

“What’s wrong?” Lauren’s voice broke through his thoughts and he turned her, discovering she looked slightly irritated. “You’re not even paying attention.”

“What? No sorry I am…its nothing.” He shrugged and made a point of tilting the laptop screen so he could see it better.

“Who are you texting?” she frowned, glancing down at his phone. Chip’s eyes widened slightly

“No one!” he explained, which was technically true. “Was just looking at something…”

She cocked an eyebrow. “Chip…” she warned.

He sighed again. “I’m not texting anyone…I just…Jeff emailed me again.” He said reluctantly, avoiding her gaze. They had had this conversation before, and when Lauren found out Jeff had been in contact with Chip she hadn’t been too happy. Something along the lines of  _‘How dare he!’_  and  _‘He has some nerve after what he did to me…’_

“What?!” She exclaimed.

“Well it’s not my fault I…hey! Give it back!” Lauren had snatched his phone and began to read the email. “Lauren!” he tried to grab it back off her but she held up her hand.

“I’m a  _liar_?” she cried. “I’m  _manipulating_  you now?” she scoffed. “Unbelievable! Do you see what he’s trying to do Chip? He’s trying to tear us apart so he’ll have you all to himself again!” She narrowed her eyes. “I hope you’re not starting to believe this… this  _bullshit_  are you?”

“What? No! Of course now I just…”

“You just  _what_?” she said dangerously. Chip swallowed thickly and licked his lips.

“I just…I think it might be time to forgive him. I kinda miss him, ya know?” he admitted. “He’s my best friend…and he  _was_  really drunk Lauren…” he said, trailing off seeing the look on her face.

“You want to  _forgive_ him?” she spat. “After what he did to me? And then lied to you?? You’re making up excuses for him!”

“No no! It’s not that It’s…”

“Well that’s certainly what it sounds like Chip!” she climbed off the bed and grabbed her jacket. “I can’t believe you would do this to me!” she cried. “You know how upset I got!” she continued as she pulled her jacket on. “I swear if you start talking to him again, you can forget about us.” She spat, before wrenching open the door and storming out.

“Lauren come on, don’t be-“

Chip winced when the door slammed.

“Dammit…” he sighed, lying back on the bed. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

After about twenty minutes of contemplating everything in his head, (and re-reading Jeff’s email twice more) he sat up and grabbed his laptop. Opening his email, he began to type.

_Hey Jeff,_

_Sorry I haven’t_

He groaned and held down the backspace key. He tried again.

_Jeff,_

_These last few weeks_

“No…” he sighed and once again deleted what he typed.

_Hi Jeff,_

_I don’t know where to begin_

Shaking his head, he closed his email and closed his laptop. He didn’t know where to begin was pretty accurate, but telling Jeff that wasn’t going to help.

Instead, he picked up his phone again and sent a text to Lauren

_Hey sweetheart, I’m sorry. Come back over and finish the movie?_

He threw his phone down and took a deep breath. He didn’t know what to do, so he was taking the easy way out.

Jeff was right. This was all such a mess.


	18. Chapter 18

After Chip text her, Lauren did come back over after a while. Shamefully, he had to do some grovelling (and he vowed never to tell anyone about it) but eventually she forgave him and they settled back again to watch the movie.

A couple of hours later, Chip had fallen asleep and was curled up against the wall on his bed. Spotting his phone, Lauren made sure he was really out, before she grabbed it and immediately opened his email app.

She didn’t hesitate to send Jeff an email, posing as Chip, telling him to never contact him again. Once she hit ‘send’ she deleted any evidence from his outbox and replaced the phone where she found it.

Smirking smugly, she lay down beside Chip and grinned when he automatically turned to spoon her. Finally Jeff would be out of the picture.

***

Dave had actually managed to convince Jeff to leave the dorm and put down the books for one night. Now they were both at a party, and Jeff was actually enjoying himself and he wasn’t thinking about Chip for the first time in weeks. He was still there in the back of his head – as he always was – but just for tonight Jeff was determined not to let it get to him.

The talk with Dave had really helped get everything off his chest, and the fact he was so reassuring made the whole situation seem much better than it actually was. This is what he needed. Just one night to forget about the whole mess and have a good time.

Just as he was getting into conversation with a girl he had met their first week there, his phone beeped and he automatically took it out of his pocket to check who it was.

His face visibly drained of colour when he saw it was an email from Chip, and he nearly dropped his phone in his eagerness to open and read it. He’d been waiting for Chip to finally get back to him for  _weeks_.

“Sorry, excuse me for two minutes,” he smiled at the girl and stepped away so he could read the mail in private.

_Stop contacting me. I’m done with you Jeff._

Jeff’s hands started shaking as he read and reread the two sentences over and over again. This had to be a mistake…

“No…” he whispered, his voice shaking as he double checked that the email was actually from Chip.

It was.

“No…” he repeated, still staring at his phone in complete and utter shock.

With trembling fingers, he locked his phone and was barely able to put it back in his pocket. He stared into space for a few moments, letting the email settle into his mind.

Once he came around to the reality of the situation, it was all he could do not to break down there and then. He sprinted from the room, the house, and ran back towards his dorm as quick as he could.

Luckily, Dave had looked up from his own conversation just at the moment he saw Jeff run from the room. He only got a glance of his face, but he could tell straight away that something wasn’t right.

He excused himself and took off after Jeff, knowing he’d be heading straight for their room. Jeff must have run fast, because Dave couldn’t see him anywhere one he got outside, even though he was only about thirty seconds behind him.

After a short fast-paced walk across campus, Dave arrived at their dorm and went straight in. The sight he saw wasn’t pretty.

Jeff was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands, already crying his eyes out.

“Oh Jeff…” Dave sighed, making his away across the room once he had closed the door.  It was heart breaking to see him like this, as in the few months Dave had known him, he had never seen Jeff shed a tear.

“Go…go away…” Jeff hiccupped, not looking up at his friend and trying to turn away from him. He was embarrassed Dave had followed him, and he tried his best to wipe away his tears, but it was no good, they just kept coming.

“No way…” Dave said firmly, sitting on the bed beside Jeff and putting an arm around him. “I’m not going anywhere. What happened?” he asked, rubbing a soothing hand in circles on Jeff’s back.

“I…he…,” he sniffed. “Chip…” he whimpered, his breath getting caught in his throat as he struggled to breathe normally.

“Okay calm down…it’s okay…take a deep breath.” Dave suggested, worried Jeff was going to start hyperventilating if he wasn’t careful. What had suddenly happened with Jeff to make him this upset?

“I don’t…I can’t…he…” Jeff continued to try and talk, but he was only getting himself more worked up. His cheeks were tear streaked and blotchy and his eyes were already red and swollen.

“Take your time…it’s okay,” Dave reassured, patiently rubbing his back still and making soothing ‘hush’ sounds.

After a few more minutes, Jeff still couldn’t get the words out. So instead, he took out his phone and just showed Dave the email instead.

Dave read it over his eyes widened. He couldn’t believe it. What the fuck was Chip playing at? He’d only met him briefly for a weekend, but he found it hard to believe he’d send something like this to Jeff.

“Jeff…I’m so sorry…” Dave said softly, which only made Jeff cry harder.

Jeff couldn’t hold it together no matter how hard he tried. Chip was his other half, his best friend. And now, seeing it written down that Chip was done with him…he couldn’t take it. He couldn’t live through this. He _needed_ Chip. Needed him more than oxygen. Or at least that’s how it felt, considering he was closer to hysteria.

“Dave I can’t…” Jeff whimpered, burying his face in his hands again as a fresh wave of tears hit him.

“I know…” Dave nodded, still patting his back gently. He didn’t even know what to say to Jeff anymore to make it better. Chip had made it clear in the email, he was done with him. How was Dave supposed to tell Jeff it was going to be okay?

The pair sat there for an hour, Dave unwilling to leave Jeff’s side until he had calmed down. His heart had broken for his friend, and he hated the fact he couldn’t make it better.

Jeff had been going over and over everything that had happened in the last few months in his head, as he still wept softly. There was so much he didn’t understand. So much he wanted to take back, start over.  But he couldn’t. 

“Dave…” he said after a long while, his voice thick and hoarse.

“Yeah buddy?” Dave asked hopefully, watching as Jeff sat up properly and looked at him for the first time.  He was almost unrecognisable, his eyes puffy red and wet.

“Do you…do you remember when you said…” he took a deep shaky breath. “When you said I was in love with Chip?” he asked quietly.

Dave frowned slightly, remembering he had teased Jeff about it after Chip left.

“Yeah…” he said carefully.

Jeff sniffed, wiping his nose on the back of his hand and feeling his stomach muscles clench nervously.

“I think you might have been right.”


	19. Chapter 19

Why hadn’t Jeff emailed him, called him? It had been a week since Chip had heard anything and he was starting to get worried.

 

Okay, so he hadn’t exactly made any attempt to contact Jeff himself - he was too much of a coward - but he hadn’t expected Jeff just to just… _give up_.

 

He had about seventeen draft emails written to Jeff, but he hadn’t had the courage to send even  _one_  of them. He was half afraid Jeff wouldn’t reply, and half afraid he’d lose Lauren if he  _did_  reply. It was all such a mess. 

 

He was sitting in his dorm room on a Friday night by himself, trying to study for a test he had Monday - but nothing was going in. He figured the fact he was lying half upside down off the side of his bed while he tried to read a five hundred page book might have something to do with that…but he didn’t really care. He had the whole weekend to study anyway.

 

He knew there was a party going on across campus, and even though Lauren had begged him to go with her, he really wasn’t in the mood. He had used the test he had as an excuse, but even he knew he wasn’t going to do much studying. Maybe he should have gone after all. God knows he could use a drink after the week he’d had. He couldn’t get Jeff out of his head. 

 

His phone beeped and the sound broke through his thoughts. He frowned down at it, and saw a text from his good friend Gary, who he knew was at the party too.

 

_Hey man, you need to get here asap_

 

 _Why?_ he text back curiously. The reply took a few minutes to come, but Chip had already decided he was going, so had his shoes and jacket on once his phone beeped again.

 

 _Just come_.

 

He had a bad feeling in his stomach as he crossed campus but he wasn’t sure why. Maybe Gary had just wanted him to come to the party? The minute he thought that he knew it wasn’t the case. There was an urgency in his text and it made him feel uneasy.

 

Once he arrived, Gary spotted him and ran up to him.

 

"Dude I’m so so sorry…" He said, patting Chip on the arm.

 

"What? Why are you…" He trailed off as his eyes scanned the party and he saw Lauren, in plain view of the whole crowd, making out with a guy who she had pinned up against the wall.

 

Chip blinked in shock, staring opening mouthed at his girlfriend –  _his_ girlfriend - kissing another guy and not even trying to hide it. He stood watching her for what could have been minutes, a million and one things rushing through his head as he felt anger build up in his core. He could hear Gary and a few other people say something to him, but he wasn’t even listening. He looked like he was ready to kill.

 

It was only when Lauren broke for air, did she glance around, doing a double take when she saw Chip across the room. Chip was delighted to see her whole face drain of colour and the previous smirk she had drop straight off. He shook his head ever so slightly at her, then bolted from the room. He couldn’t be there anymore.

He was surprised to find that even though he had just caught his girlfriend kissing another guy, he wasn’t upset. Or heartbroken. Just furious.

 

Seeing that, was all Chip needed to know that Jeff was right. She was a conniving little bitch.

 

He had made it nearly halfway back to his dorm before she caught up with him. 

 

"Chip!" She cried, but he ignored her and kept walking. "Chip wait up! I’m so glad you came…he..he forced himself on me…I didn’t know what to do…" She explained feebly as she practically ran to keep up with his long strides. 

 

He froze and rounded on her angrily, making her retreat a few steps back, her eyes wide.

 

"You fucking liar!!" He screamed, making the few people around them look over. It took her a few moments to recover from the shock of Chip actually  _shouting_  at her. But once she did, she was back in excuse-mode.

 

"I’m not lying! He made me…he kissed me…" She pleaded.

 

"Don’t you dare…" He growled dangerously, gritting his teeth. "You lying, cheating  _bitch_.” He accused, making her gasp.

 

"Chip I would never…I didn’t…"

 

"Oh yeah?" He cut her off. "What about Jeff? That was all a big lie too wasn’t it!" He exclaimed. The minute he had seen Lauren kissing that other guy, he knew. He knew she had lied and Jeff had been telling the truth the whole time. And that’s all he cared about.

 

"It wasn’t! He came onto me!" She cried almost too quickly, but her resolved was quickly crumbling. 

 

“ _Stop lying_!!” He yelled, breathing heavily. “Tell me the truth. Tell me right now!” he demanded.

 

She stared at home for another moment, matching his heavy breaths and squaring up to him as her eyes narrowed.

 

"Fine." She said, her voice surprisingly steady. "I lied." 

 

Chip’s eyes widened.

 

"What?" he said, slightly taken aback she admitted it so quickly.

 

"That’s right, I came on to him. I was so fucking sick of hearing you talk about him twenty four seven…Jeff this…Jeff that…oh Lauren you’re going to love Jeff!" She exclaimed in annoyance. “It’s like all you fucking cared about was  _him._ And I knew, I  _knew_  there was no way I’d ever come before him, so I had to do something about it!”

 

Chip’s heart was pounding against his chest, but he stood stock still, hanging on to her every word. He opted not to say anything, and let her continue.

 

"I felt like he was  _in_  the fucking relationship with us and I hadn’t even met this guy! You text him more than you text me for crying out loud!” She yelled. “Every second of every day…’Oh Jeff would love this…oh let me just text Jeff and tell him…’ Do you know how  _annoying_  that was?” she cried. “So like I said, I had to do something about it.” She smirked now, almost evilly, and for a moment Chip was scared. 

 

"You had basically told me what a man whore he was, so I figured, how hard would it be to get him to sleep with me? Luckily for you he’s like a fucking puppy…so god damn loyal to you. It was irritating, really. He wouldn’t even touch me." She continued. "I thought since he was so hammered it would make my job easier, but no, he flipped out when I got too close." She rolled her eyes as if it was an inconvenience to her. 

 

Chip felt his stomach twist with guilt. He hadn’t believed Jeff. He had been telling the truth the whole time and he hadn’t believed him.

 

"But I had to get rid of him  _somehow…_ " she continued. "It was all too easy really, you said he never liked your other girlfriends, so I knew you’d believe me straight away. And you did." She smirked. “Honestly I couldn’t believe how easy it was.”

 

"You’re…you’re insane…" Chip said quietly, shaking his head in disgust.

 

"No I’m not, what’s wrong with wanting you all to myself?" She asked in a too-sweet tone. "I was sick of sharing you with Jeff and your  _freakishly_ close friendship.” She smiled and step closer. “And now he’s gone, for good. I made sure of that don’t worry.” She grabbed his arm. “So maybe we can just forget about him and start fresh?”

 

He wrenched his arm back almost roughly. “Are you crazy? We, are finished Lauren. You have single handily ruined my friendship with Jeff, not to mention you were kissing another guy tonight!” he added, having almost forgot about that part.

 

"Oh comes on, surely you can forgive me for a little mistake like that?" She asked, cocking her head. “We’ve all given in to temptation before, right?” she smirked.

 

Chip shook his head in disbelief, horror and disgust. How the  _hell_  had he never seen this before?  What was wrong with him that he believed his girlfriend of a few months against his best friend of nearly 15 years? Jeff didn’t even deserve him right now.

 

"Stay away from me…" He spat suddenly, unwilling to be anywhere near her any more. Before she could get another word in, he turned and stormed towards his dorm.

 

"Oh that’s right, run back to your precious Jeff!" She called after him.

 

Chip stalled, about to turn back to her, but decided against it. He continued back towards his room and the second he was through his door, he whipped out his phone and dialled Jeff’s number. He had to make this right, beg for forgiveness. He’d been an idiot.

 

But first, he just had to get Jeff to answer the phone.


	20. Chapter 20

Jeff stared down at his phone that was now flashing Chip’s name and vibrating in his hand. It had been a week. A fucking  _week_ , and now he was calling? Why? What made him change his mind?

He swallowed thickly as his thumb hovered over the answer button – but he couldn’t do it. That week he had all but lost his mind. He hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything. His classes, studying, eating, sleeping…

He had walked around like a zombie since that night he admitted to Dave that he  _might_  just  _possibly_ have more than platonic feelings for Chip. He had had a constant anxious knot in his stomach since then, and no matter what he did, he couldn’t get rid of it. It was ruining his life.

He closed his eyes and threw his phone to the side when it stopped vibrating.  _Fuck._  He had let it go to voicemail because he knew if he answered, he wouldn’t have a clue what to say to Chip. Not now. Did he even  _want_  to talk to him? He wasn’t even sure any more. He was so messed up.

Groaning aloud – he was thankful he had the dorm to himself right then, as Dave had been watching him like a hawk all week – he leant forward on his knees and covered his face in his hands.

He thought back to the morning after he had shamefully spent the majority of the night crying his eyes out in Dave’s arms after receiving that damn email from Chip.

He had woken up with his eyes stinging and puffy, and it had taken him a moment to actually figure out how to open them. Once he had, he had immediately saw Dave staring at him with concern from across the room.

_“How you doing?” he asked carefully. Jeff looked away in shame. They hadn’t talked about what he had said the night before – once he had said it, he had cried even harder and clung to Dave desperately until he had fallen into an uneasy sleep._

_“Fine…” Jeff answered evasively, still refusing to look at him as he sat up in bed._

_“Jeff…”_

_“Don’t.” Jeff warned, but with no real vigour._

_“What you said last night…about Chip…”_

_“I was upset okay? It didn’t mean anything.” Jeff said firmly._

_He almost believed himself._

_Dave on the other hand wasn’t so convinced. He decided not to pry Jeff or force him into talking – he himself had been through this when he was coming to terms with his own sexuality, so he had an idea of what Jeff was feeling –well, except for the fact he never had the complication of falling for his best friend. He could only imagine how confused Jeff was right now. He opted to just be there for him when he was ready. Let Jeff figure this out._

_“Okay…” he finally said, still eyeing Jeff worriedly. They sat in silence for a while, Jeff’s head spinning with too many thoughts and emotions. He just wanted to block them all out._

_“Um…” Jeff began after a while. “Thanks for…you know…last night…” Jeff blushed, remembering again how he had been close to hysterical when Dave found him. He was a good friend, and Jeff would be forever in his debt for what he did._

_“Hey…” Dave said reassuringly. “You need me for anything at all, I’ll be here ok?”_

_Jeff nodded, feeling his eyes water again. Dave would never know how much that meant to him._

But Jeff still, a week on, hadn’t been able to talk to Dave – or anyone – about how he was feeling. He didn’t even know  _what_  he was feeling, all he knew was he was confused, scared and it hurt. A lot.

And now Chip was calling him? After telling him he was done with Jeff? How was he even supposed to take that? He didn’t want to think anymore…he was so sick of it…so tired of his head and his heart hurting with all these new feelings.

He was pretty sure he knew what it meant, but he didn’t understand it. He’d liked girls all his life. Not guys. Girls. But now…now he thought about it he couldn’t get it out of his head…and Chip…

He sighed. Chip had never once left his head since the day he met him when he was five. He had always figured it was just a close friendship. People teased them for being so close, they’d been called ‘boyfriends’ before in school – but they’d always laughed it off. In fact, Jeff always got a little thrill out of that. But he had never known why.

The more he thought about it, the more he realised he knew no one else with a friendship like his and Chip’s. He could never even imagine having another friend like Chip. It was just Chip. Chip had been his life for as long as he could remember.  He told him everything. He always had.

It hurt when he wasn’t around. It sucked when they couldn’t see each other. When they couldn’t talk he felt empty.

He never really understood why he hated Chip having girlfriends before. He always put it down to him thinking no one was good enough for Chip, or that Chip just picked idiots for dates. But he knew now it was jealousy. Pure jealousy.

He had always cringed when he saw Chip kiss girls. But that wasn’t normal right? Why should a best friend be so horrified to see him kissing someone? It wasn’t normal. It just  _wasn’t._

He’d felt so lost the last week, and that was mainly to due to the fact that he didn’t have Chip to go to. To comfort him. Chip had always been there when Jeff was going through something, no matter what, Chip would drop everything, run to Jeff’s side and make him talk it out until he felt better. But this week was the first time Jeff didn’t have that. And he needed it more than ever.

But how would he even explain it?

_Oh hey Chip. I’ve had a pretty shitty week. I think I might be gay now and I’ve possible been in love with you for years._

Yeah. That would go down just  _great._

 _How_  did he never realise? How did he not know?

And more importantly… _why_  was Chip calling him now? Did  _he_  know?

That thought scared Jeff more than anything in the world. 


	21. Chapter 21

Jeff had said he wanted to block out his feelings. So that’s exactly what he did.

After torturing himself all afternoon, dialling Chip’s number and then hanging up before the call could connect over and over again, he gave up and went to acquire a bottle of cheap whiskey. He’d never drank alone before – it had always been at parties or with friends – but he figured he needed it. It wasn’t something he wanted to make a habit out of, but just for tonight, he needed to  _forget._ Needed to  _not_  think.

He drank way too quickly, narrowly avoiding throwing up a couple of times, and was soon completely hammered, lying on his bed and cradling the now nearly empty bottle, feeling extremely sorry for himself.

He felt lost. Like he didn’t know himself any more. He had always been so sure of himself. Known himself, known exactly what he liked. And now? He hadn’t a clue. Was he straight? Gay? Bisexual? He couldn’t even tell. It was all so confusing, and he just wanted to figure it out and get an answer so he could start dealing with it. If he could even deal with it.

Maybe it was just a phase. Maybe he wasn’t  _really_  in love with Chip and it was transference or something. Transference from  _what_  he didn’t exactly know…but he could figure that out later.

He felt sick again. Maybe he should stop drinking the whiskey. He had never liked whiskey, not since he was sixteen and he and Chip broke into his parent’s liquor cabinet and stole one of his Dad’s best bottles of whiskey and drank it between them.

Neither of them had ever been so sick in their entire lives, and they both got grounded for a month after that little stunt. They had to resort to sneaking out at three am just so they could see each other outside school, and sure enough, they were caught doing that as well.

He remembered his mom had said to him – after she finished shouting at him;  _“There’s nothing you two wouldn’t do to see each other is there?”_  

And she was right. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do to see Chip. Be with him. Even just talk to him.

Dammit. There he goes again thinking about him. He scowled at the whiskey bottle, blaming it for not doing its job and making him forget. Maybe he needed more. So he drank more – almost choking on it since he was still lying down.

Ugh. It tasted horrible. He probably should have got some coke or something to mix it with.

Sighing, he absentmindedly picked up his phone and tried to focus on the screen. He had to resort to closing one eye to see it properly, and as he unlocked it, he had what he thought was the best idea he’d ever had.

He should  _text_  Chip. That made sense right? Because then he wouldn’t have to  _talk_  to him. And he wouldn’t have to think about what to say. He could just  _type_  it, and it would all be okay. Chip would help him.

How did he not think of this before? He sat up and crossed his legs and –

“Fuck!” he grabbed the bottle of whiskey which had just spilled onto his blankets since he had let it go without putting the lid on. “Such a waste…” he sighed, and took another gulp, again cringing horribly as he swallowed, not even noticing his whiskey soaked sheets.

Trying again, he placed the bottle on his night stand, gave it a stern look and told it to stay, he took his phone back up and opened a new message.

How did texting work again? He closed one eye and frowned at the screen. Stupid phone.

After a short moment of working out the keypad, Jeff finally managed to type out what he wanted to say to Chip.

                 _I nred yuo_

Send.

Perfect. At least that was done. Telling Chip he needed him was sure to let him know what he was going through and then Chip would swoop in like superman and solve all of Jeff’s problems. He giggled. Chip really was like superman. He could do anything. He missed him.

Huh. He should tell him that too.

                 _I msis u 2_

Send.

He nodded and leaned back against the wall beside his bed, staring at his phone as he waited for the reply he was sure to get. It would be something like  _“I’m on the way”_  or  _“Meet me at our spot”._  That’s what he always said when Jeff needed him. Jeff frowned. But they weren’t at home, so they couldn’t go to their spot in the park.

He jumped in shock when his phone start ringing, Chip’s name flashing on the screen.

He didn’t anticipate this. Why didn’t Chip just text back? This wasn’t how his plan was supposed to go…should he answer?

Of course not.

But maybe…

No. Bad idea.

Fuck it. What’s the worst that could happen?

He answered the call but froze and said nothing.

_Hello? Jeff? Are you there?_

Jeff just listened. He couldn’t say anything. This was the first time he’d heard Chip’s voice in so long.  He never realised how much he missed his voice.

_Jeff? Are you there? You alright?_

No. He wasn’t alright. Chip sounded panicked. Jeff gulped and shook his head. Why couldn’t he say anything?

_Jeff…if you can hear me, I really need to talk to you…please…_

Jeff hung up. Answering wasn’t a good idea. Now he was hurting again, but ten times more than before. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before grabbing the whiskey again and taking a huge gulp, coughing and spluttering as it went down.

His phone rang again.

No, not this time. He cancelled it.

Just as he was about to take another swig from the bottle, Dave walked in the door. Jeff looked up at him through childish, wide eyes, almost screaming internally for help.

Dave’s heart broke for his friend and immediately went over to him and took the bottle off him. He was surprised how little a resistance he put up, and once he got rid of it, he sat down on Jeff’s bed beside him.

They sat in silence for a while, Dave placing his hand on Jeff’s shoulder to give him some comfort. If he was honest, he had been expecting something like this to happen, the way Jeff had been acting this week had really worried him.

“I can’t do this anymore…” Jeff slurred, and Dave heard in his voice how much he was hurting. “I don’t know what to do…what to think…”

Dave squeezed his shoulder gently. “Jeff I promise it will get better…you just need to get through this.”

“Chip called me today.” Jeff stated, as if Dave hadn’t said anything.

Dave blinked in shock. “Oh?”

“Yeah. I hung up. I can’t talk to him…not after…” he gulped. “Not now I know…or…or I  _think_  I’m…” he couldn’t finish the sentence, but Dave knew exactly what he was trying to say.

“That’s okay buddy…” Dave soothed. “You don’t have to talk to him until you’re ready.”

“But what if I’m never ready?” Jeff asked desperately, feeling dizzy and sick again. “I don’t even know who I am anymore Dave!” He cried, turning to face his friend.

Dave just nodded. He felt for Jeff, he really did. He knew exactly what he was going through.

“Jeff look at me,” he said firmly, placing his hands on both his shoulders and looked him right in the eye. “You’re strong. You will get through this. You’ll figure it out, I promise you that. And until you do, I’m here for you, for anything you need alright?” Dave promised.

Jeff gulped, looking right back at Dave and suddenly feeling more lonely than he ever had in his entire life. He nodded slowly, and before he knew what he was even doing, he leant in and kissed him.

Dave’s eyes widened and he gasped. As gently as he could, he pulled back, pushing Jeff away carefully. That was the last thing he was expecting, and although he had just promised Jeff he’d be there for him for anything he needed, this was one thing he wouldn’t do. The look on Jeff’s face immediately made him feel terrible as he looked even more broken than before.

“Jeff…you don’t want this,” he explained, breathing hard himself. “And neither do I. I love you man, you know that, but that’s not a good idea…” he explained, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Jeff even more than he already was. But he knew Jeff was drunk and confused. Looking for comfort.

Jeff’s eyes teared up and he just nodded again sadly, turning away from Dave and curling up on his bed. He felt thoroughly rejected unloved and isolated. He didn’t even know why he did it. But he just needed something…needed to figure himself out. Needed someone to tell him it’ll be okay no matter what happens. That even if he’s different that he thought he was, someone would still love him.

Dave just sat there and watched him, shaking his head slightly and rubbing his back until he fell asleep. He wished he could do something for him, anything. He sighed, got up and covered Jeff in a blanket. He hoped for his sake that he wouldn’t remember this in the morning.

He was just about to go to bed himself, when he spotted Jeff’s phone beside his pillow, lighting up and vibrating. He frowned, reached for it, then discovered that Chip was calling him again.

He glanced at Jeff, then didn’t hesitate to answer the call.

“Chip, it’s Dave. We really need to talk.” 


	22. Chapter 22

“Dave?” Chip asked in surprise.

“Yeah…hey…” Dave replied uncertainly.

“Where’s Jeff? What’s going on is he okay? What do you mean we need to talk?” he questioned in a rush. He had been so desperate to talk to Jeff – especially after those texts – that he was confused as to why Dave would answer his phone. He knew it couldn’t exactly be a good thing. His heart had never beat so fast in his life.

Dave sighed. He wasn’t even sure what to say now he answered the phone. It had been a spur of the moment idea, and now he had Chip on the other end he didn’t know what to do. Glancing at Jeff who was still passed out on his bed, he walked over to his own and collapsed back onto it.

“Chip I think you need to come down here.” He explained.

Chip’s eyes widened. He was right. That absolutely couldn’t be a good thing. What had been going on? “What? Why? What’s wrong??” He cried down the phone, already pacing his own dorm in a panic.

“Em…” Dave started nervously, trying to decide how to word it. “Jeff just really needs you right now.” He explained evasively.

“Why? What happened?!” Chip demanded again, becoming beyond frustrated. “I got these texts off him and…I just…what’s wrong Dave…”

It took Dave a moment to answer, half regretting answering the phone at all.  “Look Chip…Jeff’s going through something right now…and he’s…well he’s finding it really difficult. He needs his best friend. I think you’re the only one who can help him.” he said truthfully.

Guilt ripped through Chip’s stomach. He hadn’t been there for Jeff in the last month. At all. He’d been ignoring him, not believing him, not talking to him.  All in favour of his stupid, selfish bitch of an ex-girlfriend. He was sure he had never hated himself more than he did right now. How could he ever call himself Jeff’s best friend?

“What…what’s he going through…” he asked quietly, almost dreading to hear it.

Dave gulped. “I…Chip it’s not my place to say…I’m sorry…” he said sadly. “Jeff needs to tell you himself.”

Chip nodded to himself. He admired Dave’s loyalty, but was also slightly jealous. It should have been  _him_  being loyal to Jeff. Not Dave. “But…is he okay?” Chip needed to know at least that.

“Well…physically he is…” Dave said, then chuckled half-heartedly. “Except for the bottle of cheap whiskey he drank tonight…” Dave cringed, knowing Jeff was going to pay for that in the morning.

“Oh…” Chip said stupidly. That explained the texts and the phone call at least. He tried to wrack his brain of something…anything Jeff could be going through to make him drink that much. But he couldn’t put his finger on it. Was this all because of him?

“Is everything going okay with his schoolwork and stuff?” he asked, shamefully hoping it was that and not anything to do with what happened between them. Although he figured that couldn’t be it. Jeff had been getting straight A’s since middle school. He couldn’t imagine that he suddenly was finding it difficult.

“No…no it’s nothing like that Chip, it’s…more personal. I just…I can’t tell you I’m sorry,” Dave apologised again.

“I know…I know…sorry.” Chip sighed. There was a moments silence between them before Chip found the need to explain.  “Dave…I was wrong…I fucked up big time…with…the Lauren thing…” he bit his lip. He figured Jeff had told him all about what happened.

“Yeah…” Dave nodded to himself. “You kinda did…” Dave said after a few seconds. He really liked Chip, he did, but he hated what he had put Jeff through in the last while. He couldn’t help but be a little angry with him. Jeff never deserved that.

Chip pursed his lips and closed his eyes. So Dave did know then. “I’ve been trying to call Jeff all day…I want to make things better…” he took a deep breath. “Last night…me and Lauren…well…I just need to talk to Jeff.” He almost pleaded.

Dave shook his head slightly and once again glanced over at Jeff. “Well he’s kinda passed out at the moment…but Chip, honestly, I don’t think he’s gonna want to talk to you any time soon. He’s pretty messed up right now.” He sighed. “I’m worried about him, I really am” he admitted. “He needs you.” He added.

Chip squeezed his eyes shut. What had he done? Was this all because of him? He never hated himself more.

“Okay…I’ll…I’ll try call him tomorrow again…” he said quietly, not knowing what else to say.

“Alright…see you Chip.” Dave said, and then hung up. He was mad at Chip, but he also knew Jeff needed him now more than ever. He just hoped Chip would get a hold of himself soon.

Chip stared at his phone for a long time after Dave hung up. He didn’t even know what to think. He felt sick with worry. Jeff was messed up right now…he couldn’t get his head around it.

He shook his head sadly. Something must really be getting to him. Jeff was one of the strongest people he knew, and what made him feel even worse, was the few times Jeff had been down about something, he had only told Chip and Chip alone. And now he was going through something and Chip wasn’t even there to make him feel better.

He couldn’t deal with that. He had to make it better. He had to be there for Jeff, right now.

Throwing down his phone, he grabbed a backpack from under his bed and quickly started packing some things. It was already passed midnight, and he was supposed to have a full day of classes tomorrow, but he didn’t care. The drive wasn’t that long, and if he left now he’d get there in a few hours.

He didn’t have a choice. He’d treated Jeff badly enough for too long, and now he had to make it better. No matter what it took, he was going to do it. 


	23. Chapter 23

Chip drove for hours. 

It could have been days for all he knew. He wasn’t paying the slightest bit of attention, and it was lucky there wasn’t many cars on the road. He was driving on autopilot, his mind on Jeff and what had happened to their friendship. How Jeff had been completely loyal, even after everything Chip put him through, and Chip was just weighed down with so much guilt he felt sick.

What had happened to his promises to Jeff that they’d be friends forever? No matter what? Since when did he put a girlfriend before him?  _Anyone_ before him? He was disgusted with himself, and he wouldn’t blame Jeff if he never wanted to talk to him again. He just hoped that wouldn’t be the case. He hoped it so desperately.

It was close to five am when he finally arrived at Jeff’s college, and he knew it was a miracle he had made it at all. The campus was dark and deserted, and he only came across a few drunk students stumbling home from frat parties. He remembered the route to Jeff’s dorm exactly, and it really upset him to remember the last time he was here. He had been so excited to see his best friend, and they went on to have a near perfect weekend together. Now he was beyond anxious, and he couldn’t stand the idea that Jeff might just slam the door in his face. 

In way too little time, he had reached Jeff’s dorm and his instinct was to turn and run, or be sick. He couldn’t decide which to do, so he just knocked on the door without thinking, and as a result panicked. He wasn’t ready for this. He hadn’t even thought about what he was going to say. He started sweating, panting, and before anyone could answer, he turned on his heel and walked away from the door.

He didn’t get very far, and he froze in place when he heard the door squeak open.

"Chip?" 

He gulped, closed his eyes and turned back to face Jeff’s roommate, Dave. If he was being honest with himself he had completely forgot Dave was going to be there - he’d been focusing so much on Jeff that it had slipped his mind. It made him even more ashamed that Dave knew about everything he had done to Jeff, and that it was him who was there for Jeff and not Chip. He hated that. 

"Hey…" He started awkwardly, standing about twenty feet away from the door. It was obvious what’d he had done. Chickened out.

"It’s five am…what are you doing here?" Dave asked. Chip noted that Dave was still fully clothed and didn’t look at all like he had been asleep when Chip had knocked. Maybe if he was, Chip would have actually escaped. He hated himself all over again for wishing that’s what had happened.

"You…you said Jeff needed me…" He spoke softly, his guilt plainly obvious.

"You came straight away…" Dave pointed out, not questioning, but stating a fact. Chip thought maybe Dave was impressed, but really he was probably more shocked - the worst friend in the world had  _actually_  made and effort. Yeah, Chip would be shocked too. 

"I…I had to…" Chip explained. "I didn’t want to make it worse than it already is…" He continued, cringing as he looked at his feet. 

Dave watched Chip through narrow eyes. He really wasn’t sure he could trust him after what he had put Jeff through, but he also knew how much Jeff’s really needed him right now. Why, he wasn’t sure, but if it was what Jeff wanted then he was glad Chip was here.

He had refused to go to sleep, staying up once Jeff passed out, worried he would wake up still upset - or the more likely possibility of him waking up and being sick, considering how much whiskey he drank. 

"He’s not going to remember…" Dave started, not needing to finish - the situation was self explanatory really. If he was honest, he was hoping Jeff wouldn’t remember. Jeff didn’t need the embarrassement of knowing he tried to kiss Dave on top of everything else.

Chip nodded, figuring that would be the case. The brief conversation he had with Jeff only a few hours earlier proved just how drunk he really was. 

"He drank a lot then…" He cringed, knowing there must be something seriously wrong for Jeff to do that.

"Never seen him that drunk…" Dave shrugged slightly. He probably had, they had gone to so many parties together, but it wasn’t just that. It was his mood. He had been so depressed, so down, and it was horrible to witness. He just looked lost - and that wasn’t the Jeff he knew. Dave couldn’t even remember the last time he smiled. 

Chip nodded as another wave of guilt washed over him. Was this all because of him? Shamefully and selfishly, he hoped that it was something else Jeff was going through and not him that was causing his friend such grief.

"What’s…what’s wrong? What happened?" he asked, unable to stop himself. He knew Dave wouldn’t tell him, but he thought he’d try anyway. And he was right, Dave just shook his head and gave him a slightly apologetic look. 

"You need to talk to him…" he explained, gesturing for Chip to come into the room. "But eh..maybe let him sleep it off, I don’t want him to wake up yet…" Dave trailed off, avoiding Chip’s eyes at this. The main reason he didn’t want Jeff to wake up because he figured the longer he slept, the more likely he was to forget what happened. 

"Oh yeah, sure of course…" Chip nodded and carefully approached the door. His stomach twisted in sickening knots at the thought of seeing Jeff again. It had been weeks, and it was only now just hitting him how much he had actually missed his friend. He gave Dave a small, grateful smile as he passed - he really was a great guy, he could have laid into Chip for what had happened, but he didn’t. Chip knew he wasn’t Dave’s favourite person, but he appreciated him being civil. 

He swallowed thickly once he entered the room and finally saw Jeff. He was lying on his bed, still fully clothed and clearly out for the count. Chip had an overwhelming urge to burst into tears - why, he wasn’t sure - but he swallowed down he lump in his throat and continued to stare at his friend almost desperately, determine to take every inch of him in. Was it just his imagination or had he lost weight? He face looked pale and even from where he was standing he could see the bags underneath his closed eyes and long lashes. 

"You can crash on my bed if you want," Dave interrupted his train of thought making him jump slightly. "I doubt I’ll sleep now anyway." He shrugged, throwing Jeff a concerned glance. 

Chip frowned, and looked between Dave’s bed, and Jeff. It was too far away and he didn’t feel like putting any more distance between them than he already had - even if it was just across the room. 

"No…no…it’s okay…I’ll just…" He gestured weakily torwards Jeff. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to do. 

Dave gave him a genuine smile, and pat him on the back. He understood straight away. “If you’re sure,” and when Chip nodded - he was watching Jeff again and barely paying Dave any attention -He walked over to his own bed and lay down. He wasn’t feeling as anxious now that Chip was here to watch Jeff too.

Chip hesitated for a few more moments, before giving in to his need to comfort and be close to Jeff. He shuffled over to the bed and carefully sat down on the edge, kicking his shoes off as he rubbed Jeff’s arm soothingly. He knew he wouldn’t wake up, so he continued that for a few more moments before he decided to lie down next to Jeff. There wasn’t much room, but he just about managed. 

Unfortunately in doing so, Jeff had frowned and stirred slightly. Chip froze in place, watching as his friend moved closer to him and snuggled into his side. He saw Jeff frown, and open his eyes just a fraction.

"Chip…" He whispered, his voice thick and hoarse. Chip gulped. "Hey…" He said softly back, his arms awkwardly laying by his side as he didn’t know where to put them. Jeff squeezed his eyes shut again, buried his head in Chip’s chest and clung to him almost desperately. 

Chip was slightly alarmed, and just as he was about to say something else, he felt, rather than heard Jeff’s renewed heavy breaths, telling Chip he was fast sleep again. But he thought maybe, that he had never really woke up. He bit his lip, and hesitantly wrapped his arms around Jeff to hold him close. It wasn’t something he had ever done before, but he felt he had to. He glanced across the room then to find Dave watching them with a sad smile.

"I told you he needed you…"


	24. Chapter 24

When Jeff woke up, at first he was confused. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet - and was extremely reluctant to do so - but he knew with absolute certainty that he was lying  _on_ someone. Their chest to be more specific. 

He loosened his grip on what seemed to be the fabric of whatever t-shirt the person was wearing, and it came to him that it definitely  _wasn’t_  a girl he was lying on, otherwise, he thought, his head would be much more cushioned.

Following that thought, he couldn’t help but notice how  _firm_ the muscle was under his cheek and hand which had finally released its grip.

After all these thoughts occurred to him  _far_ too slowly, it was then that panic set in, along with a throbbing headache and the threat of his stomach protesting its contents. This wasn’t good. At  _all._

Still highly reluctant to open his eyes - or move for that matter - he racked his brain for any memory of the night before and how it could be possible he was now in bed - that’s what he assumed anyway - with another guy. 

He came up short however, and the only thing he got comfort in was the fact that he was definitely still fully dressed, and so was his…. _companion_ …because of the t-shirt Jeff had been clinging to merely moments ago.

Now he just had to figure out  _why_ and  _who_ and _what-the-fuck-happened._

He knew when he started drinking last night that he had no intention in leaving the dorm - he just wanted to wallow in sorrow and try to forget his problems with Chip, his sexuality and the fact that they were very closely linked. 

Apparently it had worked, as he couldn’t remember a single thing after seeing the bottle of whiskey still three-quarters full. How much more had he drank? Making a quick decision not to open his eyes and deal with his situation until he had more information, Jeff thought harder as his heart pounded against his chest in what felt like pure terror. 

If he was to think rationally - a big if-  the only explanation could be that it was Dave under him…and hugging him, he only just realised. Jeff had been a mess the past week, and he knew Dave was worried about him. Maybe Jeff just got too drunk and fell asleep on his friend? That was normal, right? 

He had been alone when he started drinking, but it made sense that Dave had come back at some point.

That explanation didn’t seem so bad…

Okay, when he finally opened his eyes it was probably going to be a bit embarrassing, and he already knew he’d have to apologise for getting that drunk and probably whining to his friend about everything, but it could be worse, he figured.

Then his heart stopped all over again.

What if it  _was_ worse? What if it _wasn’t_  Dave? What if he had drunkenly left his dorm in search of a guy to experiment with to help him come to terms with his sexuality? It wasn’t a completely insane idea…it had crossed Jeff’s mind more than once, but he had been too afraid to do it. What if all that whiskey gave him the courage?

Oh god. Oh  _god._

He was pretty sure that exact moment was the most terrified he’d ever been, and he had never regretted drinking so much in his entire life. He figured the only thing he could do was suck it up, open his eyes, and face this disastrous situation head on. He just pleaded it wasn’t as bad as it was in his head. 

So after taking a deep breath and hesitating for as long as possible, he opened his eyes just a fraction and immediately cringed. He could only see the guy’s chest and one of his arms, but he knew straight away that it wasn’t Dave.  _Fuck fuck fuck._

The second thing he noticed was that he was in his own bed. That confused him slightly, because if it wasn’t Dave, then how did someone else end up in his bed? He was sure even in his most drunken state he’d never bring a guy back here. He was still  _very_  uncomfortable with the idea of being into guys at all…so why would he risk everyone seeing? He knew the guy was still asleep, as his breaths were coming deeply and evenly, and to his annoyance, they almost soothed Jeff’s headache.

Maybe if he was really quiet and careful, he could just slip out of bed and leave the dorm without him waking up. It was going to be difficult, considering the guy had his arms wrapped around Jeff, but Jeff had to give it a shot.

It was his best bet, and it avoided the awkward  _I don’t know who you are, what you’re doing here, or what did we do last night,_ conversation. And besides, Jeff was pretty sure he didn’t even want to know what he did last night anyway. 

Still unable to concentrate properly due to his pounding head, he very carefully tilted his chin off the guy’s chest and peered up at him. 

Shocked was an understatement. His eyes widened to saucers, his mouth dropped open and it took him more than a few seconds to even  _register_ who he was seeing. How was that even possible?!

“ _Chip?!_ " he cried, scrabbling up into a sitting position and getting as far away from him as possible. Now he  _really_  didn’t want to know what happened the night before. Oh god. Oh  _god_ what did he tell him?? He was sure he was going to be sick. 

He watched as Chip blinked awake, and sat up even quicker than Jeff had. 

Chip took in Jeff’s alarmed expression and knew straight away that his friend hadn’t remembered a thing from the night before. He looked awful - too pale and too scared. Chip wanted to hug him again, but he didn’t. They still had  _a lot_  to talk about, and judging by the look on Jeff’s face, going near him right now wasn’t the best idea.

"Hey…" he started carefully, still eyeing Jeff’s expression. He swallowed thickly and tried a smile - but it came out as more of a grimace. He glanced around and noticed Dave wasn’t there any more, and he vaguely wondered if he had purposely left to give him and Jeff some privacy. 

Jeff was blinking at Chip stupidly, in utter shock. He couldn’t believe he was actually  _here._  Or why, for that matter. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but as soon as he did, his stomach lurched and he had to cover his mouth with his hand and scramble off the bed as quick as possible. He barely made it to the small sink they had in the room before he started throwing up violently, clutching the porcelain desperately and squeezing his eyes shut. Dammit.  _Dammit._

Chip had reacted just as quickly, and only seconds later he was standing behind Jeff and rubbing his back, trying not to cringe as his friend was violently ill. He felt partly to blame, he knew Jeff wouldn’t be feeling too good anyway, and obviously seeing him didn’t help. 

Jeff wanted to push Chip away, tell him not to look or to leave. He was embarrassed as well as still reeling in shock but he couldn’t help but find comfort in Chip’s touch.

Once he had emptied the contents of his stomach, he winced and turned on the tap, gasping as he gulped down the water hungrily. 

Chip kept rubbing his back rather awkwardly, unsure of what else to do. “Um…you okay?” he asked stupidly when Jeff turned off the tap again. He took his hand away when Jeff stood up straight and immediately put it back again in alarm as it looked like Jeff was about to keel over. 

Jeff blinked and shook his head clear, trying to get rid of his dizziness - stupid whiskey - and finally turned to look at Chip properly. 

He melted. Right there on the spot, he felt done for. He had missed his friend so much it hurt, and now he was here, he didn’t give him a second’s warning before he launched himself at Chip and hugged him tightly. He hadn’t even realised he had started crying until he felt his cheeks soaked with tears. 

"Wha…I…Jeff…" Chip stuttered in surprise, automatically holding Jeff close. The last thing he had expected was for Jeff to all but break down in his arms. It scared him. Jeff was never weak like this. He looked around the room like a lost puppy as Jeff clung to him, sobbing desperately into his shirt and fisting the fabric so tight it looked like he was terrified to let go. What was he supposed to do? This was so much worse than he thought. He just hoped he could help.


	25. Chapter 25

Jeff was still practically in hysterics. He was crying his eyes out, struggling to take proper breaths and hiccupping in between. Chip had led him to the bed where they could both sit down again, and Jeff hadn’t let his grip on him loosen even slightly. He wasn’t even sure why he was  _this_ emotional and upset - all he had wanted for the last few weeks was to see Chip - so why he couldn’t stop crying he wasn’t sure. He just felt so overwhelmed.

The last thing he had been expecting was to wake up to find he had slept in Chip’s arms. He had so many questions. Why did he come? When did he arrive? Since Jeff couldn’t remember much of the night before there was no way of telling what had happened, and maybe it was the panic from knowing nothing had caused him to break down. Well that, along with every other terrifying and confusing thought that had been going through his head. 

Chip on the other had was completely alarmed by his friends behaviour. Never, in all the years he had known Jeff, had he seen him even remotely this upset. It was quite unnerving. Sure, he’d seen Jeff cry before -Jeff cried at everything - but that was different. That was usually just because he got overwhelmed by music or a movie or something. But Chip knew that this wasn’t just about a song or scene that touched him. 

Chip was patient for a long time, soothing and comforting his friend who almost seemed to be inconsolable. But eventually, his curiosity and guilt got the better of him. 

"Jeff…" He started hesitantly, making Jeff start in fright - he obviously hadn’t expected Chip to say anything. "I’m so sorry…"

Jeff pulled away immediately and looked at Chip in shock. He didn’t understand. Why was he apologising? Jeff was the one who should be apologising.

"For what happened…with… _her_ ,” Chip scowled to himself as he continued, clearly oblivious to Jeff’s confusion. Still thinking about Lauren and what she did mad him absolutely  _furious._  

Jeff wiped his eyes and did his best to control his breathing. He hiccuped a couple of times, and vaguely wished he had a tissue as he shamefully wiped his nose on his sleeve. It took him far too long to realise what Chip was talking about. He had almost forgot the reason why he was missing him so much in the first place after everything else he had been through. 

Lauren. That all seemed like such a small trivial problem now.

"Oh…I…" he sniffed, and wiped his eyes again. Could he just stop crying for two seconds? "Chip…you don’t…you shouldn’t…I…it was…" he stuttered as his breath continued to catch in his throat.

"Jeff breathe…" Chip frowned, reaching out to rub Jeff’s back to try calm him down again. Except calming down was the exact opposite that happened to Jeff. He stiffened at Chip’s touch and looked at him in alarm. 

"What’s wrong?" Chip asked, so sweetly it made Jeff melt. 

"N-nothing…I just…I’m sorry…it’s my fault.." Jeff whispered nervously. He had lost all confidence, all self esteem in the past couple of weeks. He didn’t know who he was or what he should be doing, and because of that, he felt solely responsible for everything. 

"Jeff…it’s not…" Chip sighed. He felt like they could go round in circles with this for hours and hours - and in all honestly, he just wanted to forget about it, move on, and maybe find out what had Jeff so worked up in the first place. That was the main reason he had come anyway. 

"Hey…" Chip smiled softly, squeezing Jeff’s arm. "Let’s forget it ever happened okay? I just…I miss you. I messed up, I was an idiot…I just never wanna think about it and be your best friend again…" he tried to keep the slight desperation out of his voice, but it was plainly there. 

Jeff sniffed, wiped his eyes and nodded. He felt almost childlike, wanting Chip’s approval and love again. He had missed it, and he had needed it now more than ever. He saw Chip’s eyes light up and beamed brightly, and for some reason, that hurt Jeff more. 

"So we’re okay?" Chip asked nervously. Jeff nodded again, and he tried to smile. He really did. But he couldn’t. They weren’t okay…or more accurately, he wasn’t okay, but he wasn’t sure how he ever could be now. 

"What…what happened last night?" he asked, realising that his voice was still thick and hoarse. "I…don’t remember…I don’t know…why you’re here…" he admitted a little sheepishly. He still felt horribly sick, but he felt he had it under control now. 

"You text me…" Chip smiled, and terror shot through Jeff’s veins at the thought. He had? What did he say? His eyes automatically darted around the room for his phone. 

"I’m…I’m so sorry….I didn’t mean it…" he tried, gulping down the lump in his throat as a million guesses of what he could have text Chip went through his head. 

"You didn’t?" Chip frowned. 

"I…eh…." Jeff didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what he  _had_ said.

"You said you needed me…and that you missed me…" Chip spoke quietly.

There was a long pause as Jeff’s breathing returned to something relatively normal.

"Oh." he whispered.

"So did you…?" Chip asked.

"What?"

  
“Mean it…”

"Oh…" 

Jeff didn’t answer. He didn’t answer because he was scared to admit just how much he really needed and missed Chip. He didn’t answer because he didn’t want  _Chip_  to know how much he really needed and missed him. If he had been confused before, he didn’t know what to call what he was feeling now. 

"Jeff?" Chip asked in concern, since Jeff hadn’t said anything in a while. "What’s going on with you…" he reached out for him again but Jeff pulled back. It felt too good when Chip touched him. It always had. But now he possibly knew why it felt that good, he wasn’t sure he should let it happen any more. 

He looked at Chip for a long, thoughtful moment. He could feel his eyes stinging and he knew he must look terrible. 

He gulped. Could he tell him? Could he tell his best friend in the whole world that he was pretty sure he was into guys now, and the guy he wanted more than anything was him? He shook his head, the thought making him more terrified than before.

"It’s nothin’" he whispered, looking down at his bedsheets. "I’m just…I’m really glad you’re here." 

Chip grimaced. He knew Jeff was lying. He’d known him since they were five, and there was no way in hell Jeff could get away with lying to him.

"Jeff you can tell me…" He tried, avoiding touching him this time. Jeff didn’t seem to like that and Chip was doing his best to ignore how much that hurt him. He just couldn’t shake the feeling this all had something to do with him.

"I don’t know if I can Chip…" Jeff spoke quietly, still refusing to look at him. He suddenly wanted to be alone.

"Jeff…"

"Chip please…just don’t…" He begged, tears welling up again.

He just couldn’t face it yet.


	26. Chapter 26

“I really missed you ya know…” Chip murmured after a long, awkward silence. He had decided not to push Jeff, so opted to stay quiet instead, in the hope Jeff would tell him what was wrong anyway.

But he didn’t.

They had been sitting on Jeff’s bed for what felt like forever, Jeff lost in his own miserable thoughts and Chip constantly glancing at him in concern. He wasn’t the same person, or at least he didn’t  _seem_  like the same person and it killed Chip just a little bit.

“Didn’t feel like you did…” Jeff muttered in reply, unable to look at Chip as he said it. He  _shouldn’t_ have said it, but he didn’t even try to stop himself. And it was true, it hadn’t felt Ike Chip missed him at all.

Chip felt like he had been stabbed in the heart hearing those words. He knew deserved it – and probably much worse – but it still stung.

“Jeff…” He sighed sadly. “I can’t apologise enough for how I treated you…and for what she did…I was such an idiot…” he explained. “I just…I just really hope you can forgive me.” He looked at Jeff with pleading eyes. “Even though I know it’s unforgivable…” he  trailed off. 

Jeff frowned at him, slightly confused. “Chip there’s nothing to forgive…” he shrugged.

It was true - he’d never really been angry with Chip for what happened, just upset. And if they were okay now then there was no way Jeff was going to start an argument about it. Just the fact Chip was here meant more to him than anything in the entire world. “I just…I missed you a lot too. More than you know…” he added quietly, depression washing over him again as he thought about it. He wanted to tell Chip everything. Just spill it out, every single thought he’s had in the last month, get it off his chest, let go. He wanted Chip to know how he felt, and he wanted Chip to feel the same.

He knew that would never happen, and that fact killed him. He was so confused, so lost – he just wanted Chip to help him. Make it better. Like he always did.

But it just wasn’t an option this time. This involved Chip’s feelings too, and not just his own – telling Chip how he’d been feeling wasn’t fair, and there was no way he wanted Chip to hurt the way he’d been hurting. He would never do that to him. He loved him far too much for that.

“Jeff I hate seeing you like this…I want to help…” Chip begged. “Can you at least tell me what it’s about? Anything…just tell me what I can do…” he pleaded. 

Jeff had to wipe his eyes before they started watering again. How much can one person cry in a few days? He shook his head, not looking at his friend and unable to find his voice.

“Jeff…are you mad at me…” Chip whispered, his voice breaking slightly as he asked. He knew it was a selfish question, he knew he probably shouldn’t make it about himself – but he couldn’t stop himself feeling like this was his fault.

“What?” Jeff asked in a panic, whipping his head up. “No…no god no…I’m not mad at you…” he said quickly, reassuring Chip and trying to tell him without  _actually_ telling him that he was the exact opposite of mad at him. “Please don’t think that…what happened with everything was…well… absolutely shitty…it was worse than that…but I promise I’m not mad at you…”

The knot in Chip’s stomach loosened ever so slightly, but he was still so worried about his friend he almost felt as sick as Jeff looked.

“Then what is it Jeff…” he asked. “You’ve never kept anything from me before…you said it yourself in some of your emails…the only time you lied to me was on my twelfth birthday, remember?” he tried, cracking a smile.

“Yeah…” Jeff smiled sadly too. “I do remember…” he sighed. Chip was right, he’d never kept a secret from him before. But this…there was no way he was telling Chip. He’d hate him. Or at the very least, he’d leave, and Jeff wasn’t ready for that. He couldn’t deal with that.

“I’m just…I’m going through some stuff,” he shrugged, trying to act like it was nothing but he knew straight away Chip would see through it.

“What stuff…” Chip tried. “Maybe I can help…”

“You can’t.” Jeff answered straight away, more certain than he ever was that Chip could definitely  _not_  help him.  He sighed. He was glad he was here though. “How long can you stay…” he asked quietly, trying and failing not to sound like a lost puppy who was desperate for some love.

“Well I have classes tomorrow so…” Chip trailed off as he saw Jeff look down again, clearly more upset than before. What was he thinking? There was no way he could leave Jeff here alone. “So…I’m going to stay as long as you need me to.” He finished, smiling when Jeff looked up at him with what seemed like hope.

“But…but your classes…” Jeff said uncertainly, but honestly he couldn’t have cared less about them – and apparently neither could Chip.

“Fuck them.” Chip said with finality. “I’m here for you now, Jeff, and I’m not making the mistake of letting you down ever again. I hate that you’ve been going through…whatever you’re going through… by yourself, and I’m so  _so_  sorry…” he reached over and grabbed Jeff’s hand and gave it a small, reassuring squeeze.

Jeff looked down at Chip’s hand on his and he felt warmth spread through his entire body making him visibly shiver. Just from that simple touch, Jeff  _knew_ what he’d been thinking the last few weeks was absolutely and one hundred per cent true. He moved his hand slightly –and nervously - so he could entwine their fingers; a simple gesture, but one more intimate than anything they’d ever shared. Sure they had always been close…very close – but this was much different. And Jeff liked it. A lot.

He was half surprised Chip didn’t seem that uncomfortable with it, and was sure he felt Chip hold his hand tighter – and he  _definitely_  swiped his thumb over the back of his hand.

He knew right then that he could tell him. How could he not? It was Chip. He took a deep breath, and without thinking about it too much, just blurted it out.

“I…I think…I might be gay…”

Chip’s eyes widened to saucers. “What?!”

Jeff gulped and his heart dropped into his stomach as regret washed over him. Chip couldn’t have let go of his hand any faster.


	27. Chapter 27

“You…you’re…but…” Chip stuttered, looking at Jeff in what he could only describe as shock and – Jeff’s stomach constricted – fear? “How…” Chip ended carefully, and Jeff hated that he saw him trying to discreetly move away from him. Was he that disgusted by it?

“I don’t know okay?? I don’t know!” Jeff snapped, unable to contain his emotions. He was angry at Chip. Why was he reacting like this?

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Chip asked curiously. “You…where did this come from? Have…have you always been…why now?”

 “I said I don’t know!” Jeff cried, the realisation that he now felt worse than before he told Chip hitting him full force. “It just…happened. I don’t know. Maybe I’d always been…but I never noticed…can that happen? I don’t know!”

Chip was frowning at him in confusion, and Jeff climbed off the bed to stand since clearly Chip was uncomfortable being too close to him. Jeff felt diseased, disgusting – even his best friend didn’t want to be near him. He had expected that _maybe_ Chip would react like this if Jeff had a actually built up the courage to tell him that it as  _Chip_  himself who brought all these feelings on - but not in a millions years did Jeff expect his best friend to be so repulsed by the fact he might not be completely straight. Surprised? Even shocked? Sure. But not this. There was no way he could tel him now. Or ever…

“But…you like girls…” Chip said carefully, watching Jeff has he paced in front of him, trying his best not to burst into tears  _again_.

Jeff stopped and turned to face him. “Do I? I don’t even know anymore…maybe I just thought I did…but the more I think about it…” Jeff stopped. He didn’t want to think about it any more.

“But that doesn’t make sense…Jeff…are you sure? Have you thought this through?” Chip asked.

“Chip it’s all I’ve been fucking thinking about!! Do you think I want this?? Do you think it’s been easy?? What, you think I woke up one morning and went ‘Hmm…I think I’ll like boys now!’ It doesn’t fucking work like that!” Jeff yelled. He was furious with Chip. He thought he’d help him – make him feel better about all this, reassure him that everything was going to be ok – but he wasn’t. He was making him feel so much worse that Jeff even thought possible.

Chip visibly winced at vicious edge in Jeff’s voice, and Jeff couldn’t help but be glad about it.

“How…what happened to make you….” Chip started, not knowing how to finish. “Is there…someone?” he cringed again.

Jeff whipped his head around and stared at him with wide, frightened eyes. Did he know? Had he figured it out?

“I…what? Why would you say that…” he asked carefully.

“Well…I just thought…someone might have triggered it…” Chip hesitantly suggested. “Was it…Dave?”

Jeff breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t know it was  _him_ that made Jeff discover his true feelings.  _Him_ that Jeff hadn’t stopped thinking about.  _Him_ that Jeff was sure he was painfully in love with.

“What? Dave? No…not at all he’s just…” Jeff trailed off as he was hit suddenly with a flashback of the night before. He frowned. Had he tried to kiss Dave? No…that couldn’t be right…

“What’s wrong…” Chip asked, staring at Jeff with his eyebrows raised. “Jeff…do you have feelings for Dave? Is that it?” He asked, and Jeff couldn’t help but hear the offended tone dripping from Jeff’s voice. He turned to him, shaking his head rapidly.

“No…no of course I don’t…I just…” he barely realised what he was saying as he tried to piece together the foggy memory from the night before. He couldn’t recall it properly, how it happened, why it happened, what happened after was still blank – but he definitely remembered making the decision to kiss his room mate.

“Oh god…” he cringed horribly, sitting back down on the bed despite knowing Chip would probably disapprove.

“What? What is it?” Chip asked, automatically reaching out to touch Jeff but retracting it just as quickly. Jeff’s heart dropped again. He knew Chip thought he didn’t notice – but he did. And it broke his heart.

“Doesn’t matter…it’s not important…” Jeff muttered, swallowing thickly and staring at his hands in his lap. Chip just nodded and stayed silent. Neither spoke for what felt like an hour, but Chip’s curiousity finally got the better of him.

“Have you…have you… _been_ with a guy?” he asked, and Jeff could hear again what he was sure was disgust in his voice. He felt so betrayed, let down. He thought Chip of all people would be there for him, understand. He knew Chip wasn’t homophobic…so was it just Jeff he had a problem with?

“N-no…I haven’t…” Jeff answered truthfully.

“Well then how can you be sure?” Chip queried, and Jeff blushed under his scrutiny. He felt too exposed.

“I’m  _not_  sure. But that’s the problem…” he sighed. “You’re  _supposed_  to be sure about this kind of thing…and I’m not…at all…” admitting it was terrifying, and he had always thought when he finally talked about this out loud he would feel better, but thanks to Chip he only felt worse. So much worse in fact, that he wasn’t sure he wanted to be around him anymore.

After weeks of desperately missing him, craving to be with him again – Jeff didn’t want him here any longer. He was feeling worse by the second – guilty, sick… _disgusting._  And he didn’t want to feel like that anymore. He’d felt like he just had his heart broken into a million pieces and on top of that,mbeen let down by his best friend - all in one swift swoop.

“I just don’t understand Jeff…I mean-“

“I think you should go.” Jeff interrupted suddenly, and evidently, it was the last thing Chip was expecting Jeff to say.

“What? What do you mean I should go?” Chip frowned as Jeff got off the bed.

“I mean  you should go…back to college…or wherever I don’t care.” He did care. A lot. Maybe too much. But that’s why Chip had to go.

“But I just got here…Jeff…why do you want me to go?” Chip asked, genuinely confused.

“Because…you’re…you’re supposed to be my friend!!” Jeff cried, shocking Chip with his volume. Chip blinked at him in surprise, before starting carefully;

“What? Jeff I am your friend…your best friend…you know that…”

“Are you? Really?? Because it doesn’t seem like it! I thought you of all people would be supportive, help me even, but all you’ve done since I told you what I’ve been struggling with is make feel like a piece of shit! And I can assure you that I’m well capable of doing that myself!” Jeff continued yelling, now he had broken that barrier, he didn’t think he could stop. “And you wouldn’t believe me! You picked her over me! I begged you Chip! I fucking begged you!”

Jeff had thought he was over that, but apparently he wasn’t. He was still mad at Chip, he just never knew it. “And now you’re here after weeks of not caring, and you’re basically just shunning me! God forbid your best friend is gay!” Jeff was crying again, but his tears were more out of anger this time.

“Jeff…you need to calm down…” Chip tried, standing up off the bed and walking over to his friend.

“I will not calm down! You…you’ve ruined everything! This is your fault! Everything was fine…everything was perfect until you…you…I was oblivious to all of this!” he exclaimed, confusing Chip even more.

“Jeff…what are you-“

“Just go!!” he shouted, storming to the door and wrenching it open. “I don’t want you here any more.” He said bitterly, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he took, deep heavy breaths.

Chip gulped and stared out the door.

“Jeff…come on…you don’t really want me to go…”

Jeff stood his ground, but Chip was right – he didn’t want him to go at all. But he couldn’t face all this right now. It would jus be easier.

“I…I thought you’d be there for me…” He whispered, looking at Chip’s feet.

“What? Jeff I am here for you…you know that…I just don’t understand…”

Jeff shook his head. That was the problem, Chip didn’t understand. But maybe Jeff was asking too much of him? But he was supposed to be Jeff’s best friend. Shouldn’t he just accept him for what he was? Jeff knew beyond reasonable doubt that he would be there for Chip no matter what - but maybe it was easy for him to say that because of his situation.

He stayed silent for a long time, and he could feel Chip’s nervous gaze on him even though he refused to look up.

“You need to go.” He whispered finally, settling on the fact that he was going through too much right now and having Chip doubt him on top of it was the last thing he needed. He realised Chip was the source of most – if not all-  of his anguish, but he thought seeing him would make that better. But it only made it so much worse. 


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter takes place six months later

Jeff woke up with a bad hangover in a stranger’s bed.

Again.                                                                

It had been a too-recurring routine over the last six months and he didn’t know if he was ashamed of it or not. Didn’t know if he was happy it was finally the summer holidays or not.

Didn’t know much of anything, really.

He glanced over at the still  _very_  naked guy lying beside him.  He had met him at the after-exams party the night before and in an instant decided he was going home with him. Which he did, of course. He always did. Couldn’t remember his name though. But it didn’t really matter, it wasn’t like he was going to be seeing him again anyway.

Jeff had perfected his routine. Find a hot guy early on in the night and then spend it showering them with cheesy compliments and flirting shamelessly and dirty until they were putty in his hands. He always waited until it was  _their_  suggestion that they go home together. And it always works.

He did it for confirmation he was good at it. He needed to know what he was doing was okay. That  _liking guys_  was okay.  And when they moaned his name for more when he fucked them, over and over again, it was all Jeff needed to hear to make him feel better.

That  _feeling better_  never lasted long however, and once he woke up sober in an unknown dorm room it was always quickly replaced by stomach turning anxiety and the question ‘ _who the fuck am I?’ l_ eft circling his head over and over again. He was sick of it.

Jeff knew he walked around with an air of confidence that’s bordered on cocky – it was part of his charm - but inside, past that bravado, he was still terrified, alone and confused. People had told him it gets easier with time, and yeah, maybe he wasn’t ashamed of himself anymore, or at least he was good at pretending he wasn’t, but that didn’t mean he was happy. He hadn’t felt happy in a long time. Not since…

He stopped that thought quickly.

Sure, he’d come to terms with his sexuality over the last few months. Or at least that’s what he liked to think – in reality, he knew he hadn’t really, and it still scared him every time he kissed another guy. Scared him how right it felt, even though it wasn’t  _exactly_  what he wanted.  _Who_  exactly he wanted.

But he didn’t think about that anymore. He wouldn’t let himself as it just hurt too god damn much.

Sometimes, he still slept with girls. Just to  _see._ Double check this wasn’t all some hoax his brain was playing on him. He always hoped that when he did, he’d forget about the whole  _I’m into guys now_  thing – but that never happened. Even though always enjoyed being with girls, he didn’t get that same satisfaction he got from being with guys. And honestly, that terrified him. But it was easy to just push that terror down, and keep fucking guys so they’d tell them how great he was, how hot he was, how much they wanted him. He  _wanted_  to be wanted like that.

Okay, so maybe he hadn’t come to terms with his sexuality all that well. He had yet to say it out loud. Well, besides that time he told… _him_. But look where that got him?

He wasn’t hiding he was… _whatever he was_ …any more, but he never admitted it either. Maybe it was because he didn’t actually  _know_ what he was.

Was it possible to be bisexual but prefer guys? Straight, but going through a phase? Gay, but still into some girls? How was he supposed to define himself? Why should he  _have_  to define himself?

He hated it. All of it.

Himself, mostly.

“Who was your victim this time?” Dave smirked at him as he arrived back at the dorm feeling like he’d been hit by a freight train due to his hangover. He collapsed onto his bed and ignored the suitcase he had started packing the day before. He didn’t really want to think about going home to his family. That was a whole different scary world he wasn’t ready to face. It seemed…safer here.

“Dunno…John…or James…” Jeff frowned. “Or something,” he added, shrugging as he stared at the ceiling. “He was alright I guess.” He couldn’t help but smirk a little smugly when Dave chuckled and shook his head.

Dave had been his rock. Jeff was absolutely positive he wouldn’t have got through the last six months without him, and frankly he was scared he had to spend the whole summer away from him.

“You gonna finish packing?” Dave queried, going over to sit on Jeff’s bed with a serious look on his face. Jeff sat up frowning, knowing he was about to ask him the one thing he didn’t want to talk about – and hadn’t, for a long time.

“Yeah…I’ll get around to it.” Jeff answered, still eyeing his friend warily. “I’m not in any rush really.”

Dave nodded, biting his lip the way he always did when he was nervous.

“How are you feeling about going home…you know…” Dave trailed off a little awkwardly, both knowing what he was implying, so there was no need to say it out loud.

“Fine.” Jeff answered shortly, climbing off his bed and going to the small closet in the room. “Summer holidays right? No more study…” There was an awkward pause, and Jeff just  _knew_  what was coming. It was going to be one of two things. Something about telling his parents or asking about… _him._

“Are…are you going to see him?” Dave finally asked.

Even though he had been expecting it, it still made Jeff tense up and close his eyes. He was thankful he had turned his back to Dave, feigning rifling through his closet so he couldn’t see his face as he answered.

“No.” again, another short answer. He had no intention of elaborating. Another pause.

“What if you run into him? He lives near you right?” Dave asked. “What would you do?”

Jeff just shrugged. He didn’t know what he’d do if he ran into him. He’d love to scream at him, hit him, tell him how much he betrayed him, how hurt he was, how much he missed him…cared about him… _loved_  him. But he knew he would never do that.

“I’m not going to,” Jeff nodded to himself, and although he knew there was no way to guarantee he wouldn’t bump into him somewhere over the Summer, he’d do everything in his power to avoid that happening.

“Has he tried to –“

“Contact me? No,” Jeff cut him off, spitting his words out bitterly. It was the longest conversation Jeff and Dave had had about the whole… _incident_ since it had happened. Jeff had taken to changing the subject or just blatantly walking out of the room every time it was brought up.

“So you really haven’t seen him since…”

Jeff snapped.

“The morning he fucked off after he found out I wasn’t c-completely straight??” Jeff knew Dave noticed he avoided using the words  _gay_  or  _bi_. “No, I haven’t seen him or heard from him or anything from him since then. So no, I don’t plan on seeing him and I don’t plan on talking to him. So just fucking drop it!” Jeff yelled with finality. He was almost alarmed at himself at how quickly his anger over the situation built up. He felt himself almost panting as he tried to calm down. It made his head spin.

“Hey, don’t take it out on me…” Dave sounded a little hurt, and Jeff immediately felt guilty. Just another emotion to add to his already messed-up head.  _Great_.

 He sighed and went to sit beside Dave, pulling him into a hug as a way of apology.

“I’m gonna miss you…” Jeff said quietly, resting his chin on Dave’s shoulder as they embraced.

“Gonna miss you too,” Dave responded as he pulled back, and Jeff was hit again with the embarrassment that he had tried to kiss Dave all those months ago. He had never felt that way about Dave and he knew that night he was just scared and lonely.

He had eventually got the courage to bring it up a few weeks after it happened, but Dave just brushed it off and told him to forget about it, he understood. But then he’d teased Jeff for weeks about it, which weirdly, Jeff had appreciated. It took the awkwardness out of the situation.

He smiled at what he considered his best friend, and even as that thought occurred to him, he was hit with that overwhelming sadness he had become acquainted with. He loved Dave, and he would be forever grateful for all he has done for him, but if Jeff was honest, it wasn’t Dave that was  _supposed_  to be his best friend. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and pat his friend on the shoulder as he got up and walked back to his closet.

“Hey, how about we go get some food and forget about packing for now? Have some quality roommate time before we’re separated for the summer?” Dave grinned, and Jeff couldn’t help grin back. That sounded like a pretty great idea. And he liked the sound of procrastinating packing all his shit up for now. He really wasn’t in the mood.

“I’ll even let you buy me a strawberry milkshake…” Dave teased and Jeff’s smile faltered slightly. He gulped as he remembered Ch-  _him_  saying the exact same thing when he was here visiting. He cleared his throat and shook his head, annoyed at himself.

“Hell yeah, I could do with one…come on, let’s go.” Jeff plastered a fake smile on his face and grabbed his jacket. He was appreciative that Dave changed the subject, as just couldn’t deal with thinking about it right now. Or ever, really. But he knew he was going to have to eventually.

It was only later that night when he finally returned home and drove by the house he spent what he was sure was half his childhood in.  _His_ house.

He was driving past it before he even realised what street he was on and everything he’d pushed down over the last few months, everything he forced himself not to think about came bubbling to the surface. Tears sprung to his eyes and he sped up past it, refusing to look at it, convincing himself, quite childishly, if it didn’t exist if he couldn’t see it.

 

***

 

Chip pulled his hood over his head as he ran through the park. It wasn’t raining, but it had become a habit of his. It put him in his own little bubble – protected against the darkening sky and noises around him; allowing him to be completely  _alone_.

He’d been running a lot since he got home.

It helped distract him. Prevented him from thinking about some of the decisions he’d made in the last few months. Ones he wasn’t entirely proud of, but ones he felt he had to make.

He had left college a month into the spring semester. He hadn’t _technically_  dropped out, but deferred a year –giving him the option to go back next September if he chose to do so - which right now seemed like it would be the hardest thing in the world to do.

He had found that he just didn’t want to be there anymore. He wasn’t doing well in his classes – mainly because he had just stopped showing up to them. It wasn’t that he was incapable – he  _knew_  he was clever,  _knew_  he was more than able to get a good grades if he put his mind to it – but that was the problem, he just didn’t  _want_  to put his mind to it anymore. He had lost all his motivation;  to complete assignments on time, study, and even when he had actually shown up for exams – he found he didn’t even care if he did poorly. Grades and a degree and the future just didn’t seem important anymore. All in all, he was pretty fucked up.

So he left before he crashed and burned and failed out completely. This way – he was hoping anyway –he could get his act together and hopefully start afresh next year with a clear head.

His parents weren’t thrilled, but luckily they had understood. So he’d moved back home and got a shitty nine to five office job so he could save some money. He hated living with his parents again after being so independent, but he knew it was his own fault, so he tried not to complain, and instead pounded the pavement in his running shoes every night until his legs couldn’t physically hold him up anymore.

Overall, it wasn’t what he had in mind for where he’d be after his first year of college. This time a few months ago, he had expected to just be finishing summer finals, celebrating with all his friends then coming home, where Jeff and himself had planned to rent a car and go on some stupid road trip…they’d always talked about it; it was what they wanted to do for their first ‘college’ summer. But since they didn’t exactly talk anymore, Chip guessed that it wasn’t really an option. And yeah, he was well aware that it was his fault they hadn’t said a word to each other. But he didn’t really like to think about that. Didn’t really like to think about him at all; because he missed him – and he couldn’t stand that.

He mentally punched himself for letting his thoughts go in that direction and started to run faster, punishing himself for that guilty twist he felt in his stomach almost constantly these days.

Jeff just didn’t seem like  _Jeff_ anymore. He wasn’t homophobic, not in the slightest, but it just didn’t make  _sense._ It was like it came out of nowhere… like Jeff was making it up or something…

…which he knew he was a horrible person for even considering that.

The minute Jeff told him he was into guys, Chip felt betrayed. Like Jeff had been hiding this big secret from him for years and years, not telling Chip who he really was; so when he found out, he felt like he didn’t know Jeff anymore. Felt distant, felt their friendship had been somewhat of a lie.

Which realistically, Chip knew was stupid. But he couldn’t help it – he just couldn’t wrap his head around it. Jeff Davis – notorious ladies man – suddenly gay? It  _had_  to be a phase…because there was no way…

Chip let out a breath and stopped running. He panted heavily, leaning over on his knees as he tried to get as much oxygen back into his lungs as possible.  He glanced at his watch and realised with slight surprise that he had been running for almost two hours. He stood up straight and puts his hands behind his head, walking forward slowly as he recovered. He guessed he should probably go home, but that meant going to bed – which mean torturing himself with thoughts of Jeff and their friendship and everything that had gone wrong in his life until he was physically unable to keep his eyes open anymore.

Sleep never came easy to him these days.

He kept telling himself he should call Jeff, knowing he’d be back in town soon after probably acing all his exams. He had always been envious of the fact Jeff found school so easy – but he had always graciously helped Chip if he was ever stuck with a math problem or a certain tense in Spanish.

He couldn’t help but smile to himself as he thought about the little crease that would always appear between Jeff’s eyebrows and the chewed pen between his lips when he was looking at Chip’s math homework, trying to figure out where he had gone wrong. It was just shy of a concentrated frown, and Chip thought that it was just about the most endearing thing about his friend.

He chuckled, remembering how Jeff used to constantly borrow his pens – as he never had  _any_  of his own – and always managed to chew the ends so much that Chip wouldn’t want them back, so Jeff always got to keep them. But then he’d lose them, and the cycle would start again.

Chip’s smile faded pretty quickly, his insides tightening almost painfully as he realised how much he really missed Jeff. But was he even  _Jeff_ anymore?  _His_  Jeff? And that was the problem Chip was having – to him, Jeff just couldn’t be the same person he grew up with. And for that reason, was why he hadn’t called.

Chip knew deep down it came to the fact that he was angry with Jeff for not telling him sooner – but really, he wasn’t sure if he’d have reacted any differently no matter when Jeff told him. Maybe Jeff shouldn’t have told him at all…would it have been easier? Would they still be friends?

It wasn’t until he recognised a certain tree in the park did he even realise where he was. He stopped short, mentally cursing himself for being here – he has always explicitly avoided this place – the spot he and Jeff  used to spend almost all of their time together.  He gulped, remembering the last time he was here; that night before they left for college.

They had promised nothing would change. That they’d always be friends – and going to college wouldn’t affect that.

But it had, and Chip was once again mad at Jeff for letting that happen. For changing when he promised he wouldn’t.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was weaving himself through the trees to get to the small clearing that was hidden and just off the path. It was so familiar to him, and once he reached it, he froze dead on the spot.

“Jeff…” the word was whispered out of his mouth before he could stop it, his eyes wide and shocked as he saw his best friend in front of him, sitting against the tree like he always had, a chewed pen between his lips and frowning down at a notepad in concentration.

It was suddenly like no time had passed at all.

 


	29. Chapter 29

_Before he knew what he was doing, he was weaving himself through the trees to get to the small clearing that was hidden and just off the path. It was so familiar to him, and once he reached it, he froze dead on the spot._

_“Jeff…” the word was whispered out of his mouth before he could stop it, his eyes wide and shocked as he saw his best friend in front of him, sitting against the tree like he always had, a chewed pen between his lips and frowning down at a notepad in concentration._

_It was suddenly like no time had passed at all._

 

“What…what are you doing here?” Chip asked, his voice cracking with nervousness. It was only then Jeff looked up, his face quickly draining of colour. He scrambled to his feet quicker than should be possible, and quickly stuffed his notepad into his bag as if it was the biggest secret in the world and didn’t want anyone to see it.

“What are  _you_  doing here?” Jeff repeated Chip’s question as if he hadn’t even asked it – except his voice was laced with a shocking amount of venom.

“I asked you first…” Chip replied, unconsciously stepping closer to him, suddenly very wary. Jeff scowled, and went to storm past Chip, only to be quickly stopped by Chip’s hand grasping his arm. Jeff gasped and jumped back, wrenching his arm away as if he’d been burned, giving Chip a look that could kill. Jeff felt uncontrollable anger surge through him, becoming immediately defensive and bitter.

“What, okay with touching faggots now?” he snapped viciously, and Chip’s mouth fell open in shock. He had  _never_ heard Jeff speak like that to anyone – let alone him – and he had no idea what to say back.

“Jeff…”

“Don’t bother.” Jeff muttered sourly, making his way past Chip again. He was so surprised at himself for lashing out like that; it barely registered that he had just referred to himself as a  _faggot._

“Hey… _hey_!” Chip grabbed his arm again, determined for him not to leave. It was clear Jeff was angry – at Chip, obviously – but Chip knew him well enough to know that it went beyond that. “Can we talk, _please_?” he begged. “It’s been months…”

Jeff glared down at Chip’s hand that was wrapped tightly around his wrist, then slowly raised that same glare to meet Chip’s eyes; a clear warning. Chip let go of him pretty quickly after that.

“Why should I talk to you?” Jeff spat, clenching his fists. He want to lash out again, but this time physically. He was almost surprised at how well he restrained himself.

“Because…” Chip gulped. “Because we’re best friends.” He stated, his voice much quieter and unsure than he would have liked. He winced at Jeff’s almost hysterical laughter, and yeah, he probably deserved that.

“Best friends?? You’re fucking kidding me right?” Jeff cried.

“No…no of course not…Jeff…I just…”

“You just  _what_ Chip?” Jeff interrupted. He couldn’t see past his fury. How dare Chip ask to talk to him after all this time. After leaving him during the hardest point in his life.

Chip chewed on his bottom lip.

“I-I don’t know.” He said, rather pathetically, after a moment. Jeff laughed again – but there was no trace of humour in his tone.

“Jeff…I’m sorr-“

“Don’t you dare tell me you’re sorry!” Jeff yelled brutally, and Chip was sure anyone passing could hear him through the trees.

“But I am…”

“Bullshit.”

“Jeff…can we just…talk…please…”

“Again…why the fuck should I? I don’t want to talk to you. I think I made it pretty clear months ago that I  _don’t want to fucking talk to you_.” He growled. He hadn’t realised how hard his heart was beating until he finished talking and it became quiet.

It was quiet for a long time after that, because honestly, Chip didn’t have an answer. Why should Jeff talk to him after what he did? He sighed sadly, glancing over at the tree.  _Their_  tree. He and Jeff grew up here. He frowned in thought, then looked back over at Jeff, who seemed to be looking at him curiously, but whatever Chip thought he saw, was quickly turned back into a glare. It saddened Chip to see him so closed off to his emotions. Jeff had never been like that before.

“Why did you come here?” Chip asked again.

“Excuse me?”

“Why did you come here…” he repeated.

“What, I’m not allowed here anymore? Only straight guys allowed, is it??” Jeff asked furiously. Again, it didn’t register with him that he had made it clear he didn’t fall into that category.

Chip actually rolled his eyes at that one – which, in all fairness, probably wasn’t his best decision since Jeff looked like he was ready to punch him. Chip backtracked quickly after that – he was pretty sure he was stronger than Jeff, but with how furious he looked right now he really didn’t want to test that theory.

“No of course not…I just…If you’re so intent on not talking to me…why did you come to our spot?” Chip asked inquisitively.

For a moment, Jeff looked perplexed; like he hadn’t been expecting Chip to ask him that. He blinked bright, confused, hazel eyes at Chip for only a moment, before they turned fiery again and narrowed to slits.

“Because I knew…or at least I  _thought_ you wouldn’t be here.” He crossed his arms stubbornly – which Chip knew he’d tease him about if they weren’t fighting – and challenged Chip with a raised smug eyebrow.

“Why would you assume that?”

“Because, your college doesn’t finish exams for another two days…” Jeff trailed off, frowning as if he had just realised it as he said it.

Chip dropped his gaze straight away and felt his face heat up. How could he tell Jeff he dropped out?

“Why are you here if your exams don’t finish for another two days…” Jeff asked, almost reluctantly, but he was suddenly curious. He ignored the fact that he should have been embarrassed that he looked up when Chip’s college wrapped for summer – he had wanted to be prepared so he could avoid him at all costs. He thought he’d been safe until at least the weekend, but evidently not.

Still not looking at Jeff, Chip scratched the back of his head.

“Oh, um, all my exams were scheduled earlier…luckily…so um…I finished two days ago…came straight home.”

He was lying to his best friend. Already a great start to this poor attempt at a reconciliation.

 “Oh.” Jeff nodded, but Chip knew he wasn’t fully convinced.

“Yeah…so…” Chip licked his lips nervously. “Yeah.”

“Why are you here then?” Jeff asked after a moment, his anger returning full force. “Wanted to come see me, pretend you care, then fuck off again?” He cleared his throat, pretending it didn’t crack with emotion.

But Chip noticed and physically winced at Jeff’s words. “No…I mean…I wanted to see you…but I didn’t come here to find you…I was running and-“

“If you wanted to see me then you would have come before now.” Jeff snapped, interrupting him. “If you hadn’t run into me would you ever even bother trying??”

“I just…I…I didn’t know how to-“

“Deal with your best friend coming out to you? Deal with the fact that you were the one fucking person he trusted to stand by him?? ” Jeff cut him off again, apparently intent on letting every bitter thought he’d had about Chip in the last few months out. He wanted to hurt Chip, wanted him to hurt the way he’d been hurting. Wanted him to understand what he did to Jeff and how much he hated him for it.

“Jeff it wasn’t like that…” Chip sounded desperate, he wanted to explain, but the only problem was he wasn’t even sure he could.

“Wasn’t it? Cause that sure how it felt.”

“It was just…a surprise…” Chip said weakly.

“A surprise?? How do you think I felt? I didn’t exactly fucking plan to be…that…did I?” Jeff laughed humourlessly and shook his head. “I’m gonna go,” He stated. He didn’t want to be here with Chip anymore, he couldn’t. “Leave you to it, or whatever…” He turned to walk away again.

“Jeff please…” he begged, ignoring how pathetic he sounded.  “I’ll do anything to make this right…”

Jeff stopped, took a deep breath. “You wanna do something for me?” he asked.

Chip nodded like a lost, desperate puppy.

“Then leave me the fuck alone. I don’t need you.” Jeff growled, glared that death glare once again and turned on his heel and walked off.

Chip didn’t try to stop him this that time.  He watched Jeff’s back until he disappeared, a sickly sinking feeling in his stomach. He collapsed down by the tree and looked up at it’s branches, sighing sadly and resting his head back on the trunk.

He was completely at a loss of what to do. He knew he’d have to come up with something soon, otherwise he’d lose Jeff forever – if it wasn’t already too late.


	30. Chapter 30

Chip looked good. Chip looked so damn good that it made Jeff even angrier than he already was. So much so, that he was still fuming when he got home. He snapped at his Mom when she merely asked if he wanted dinner, stomped up to his room and slammed the door like a bratty, hormonal teenager.

He punched his pillow viciously before throwing himself on top of it and burying his face in the blankets. Groaning in frustration, he tried to stop the tears, he really did, but it was no use.

He was so sure he getting over Chip. Repressing his feelings and refusing to acknowledge he even existed had proved completely useless; five minutes of seeing him again had wreaked havoc. His feelings had hit him like a freight train just seeing him there again, and naturally he lashed out with venom and hate to overcompensate. 

He sighed sadly as he thought about what happened. Had Chip said he wanted to fix things ? To talk? Jeff couldn’t be sure whether that actually happened or if it was just wishful thinking on his part.

But even if he  _had_  said he wanted to talk - why should Jeff agree to that? Chip had been his best friend and he completely and totally screwed him over. Jeff had always thought he could trust Chip with anything, be a number of different versions of himself and Chip would still be there for him. Hell, Chip joked once when they were younger that he’d always be friends with Jeff, not matter what; even if Jeff killed someone and ended up in prison, Chip  _swore_  it wouldn’t matter.

Their friendship had always been unconditional. A given. No exceptions.  But apparently being possibly gay or bi or  _whatever the fuck_  -  was the exception. And that made Jeff feel worse than he thought anyone could ever feel.

After a while of refusing to admit he was once again crying over Chip, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He ignored it for a while; but when it vibrated again he sighed in annoyance and reached under himself awkwardly and fished it out from his pocket and turned over so he could lie on his back. 

Wiping his eyes as he looked at his phone, he saw he had too messages from Chip. 

_9pm._

And then;

_Bring twizzlers!_

Jeff frowned at his phone. He weirdly felt like he’d got back in time. Chip just text him what he’d text him a hundred times before when he wanted Jeff to meet him at their spot in the park. The spot Jeff had basically just told Chip to go fuck himself half an hour ago. He glared at his phone, and typed a reply. 

**_No._ **

Watching the message send he felt oddly guilty; he was going against every instinct that was telling him go meet Chip.

 _Fine, I’ll get the twizzlers, but you’re in charge of the chocolate!_  

The reply was even stranger. Chip was acting as if nothing had ever happened between them. It didn’t sit well with Jeff, and Chip had another thing coming if he thought they could just forget about all this and go back to normal.

**_It won’t work. Stop trying._ **

Jeff stared at his phone with his eyes narrowed to slits.

 _Fine, fine. I’ll get the chocolate too. God knows you’ll probably pick the wrong one as usual._  

The corner of Jeff’s lip twitched and he had to catch himself before he smiled. He always did have a tendency to buy the exact opposite to what Chip was craving on any given day. Chip had said it was a gift; but one he didn’t appreciate. 

Forcing himself to be annoyed again, he typed his reply, refusing to allow Chip to do this.

**_Stop doing this. I’m not coming and I’m not texting back again._ **

_Then I’ll just come over. 15 mins ok?_

Jeff grit his teeth, typed a reply but then remembered he said that he wasn’t going to do that. Chip had apparently decided to text again anyway, and a few moments later;

_I’ll take your silence as a yes! :-) see you soon!_

**_No!_ **

Jeff had typed and sent the message before his brain had caught up with his decision.

_Ha! Thought you said you weren’t going to text back?_

**_Fuck you Chip._ **

Jeff was furious. How dare Chip act like this after everything he put him through already. 

_Sooo…does that mean we’re meeting at the park later?_

**_We’re doing neither. Leave me alone._ **

_No, you have to pick._

**_I don’t. I said stop._ **

_Well either I’m coming over or were meeting later. You pick, but we’re talking._

Jeff was close to hurling his phone across the room, but once again he couldn’t stop himself from replying to ever single text.

**_Why don’t you get that I don’t want to talk to you??_ **

_I do get it, but I’m not accepting it. We need to talk._

Jeff stared at his phone and honestly, he didn’t know how to feel anymore. Why now? Why was Chip insisting so much that they should talk now? Where the hell was this over the last 6 months? 

**_Why now?_ **

_It’s long overdue._

**_Yeah, You can fucking say that again._ **

_It’s long overdue._

Jeff had to once again stop himself from smiling.  ”God dammit….” He sighed. Chip shouldn’t be making him smile. 

**_Chip let it go. It’s not happening._ **

_It is Jeff, if you don’t agree to coming to the park tonight, I’ll come over now. And if you agree to come to the park tonight and don’t show, I’ll come over then._

**_You can’t force me to do this!! This is your fault remember?? You’re the asshole here!_ **

_I know._

Jeff blinked at the response. For some reason he hadn’t been expecting it. He shook his head slowly and let out a long breath.

**_Fine. Park tonight._ **

He conceded. Chip wasn’t exactly giving him a choice anyway, so he had to go to the park. He didn’t want him here where his mom could hover around. She was already giving him a hard enough time about not talking to him - and of course there was no way in hell he was telling her why. He guessed Chip was getting the same hard time from his mom. They had decided at a very young age that their parents being friends could not be a good thing. Much harder to get away with shit they shouldn’t be doing.

_9pm :-)._

Jeff sighed and fell back on his bed, running his hands over his face and through his hair as he took a few deep breaths. He was hit quite suddenly with nerves that made him feel like he was going to be sick. He had agreed to meet Chip, but what the hell was he supposed to say when he did?

***

Chip was still in the park when he decided what to do. He sat down in Jeff’s place against the tree and text him as if nothing had happened. As if everything was normal and it was just another day. He needed some way to get Jeff’s attention, and he was sure this was the way to do it.

But as sure as he was, he was still surprised when Jeff text him back; even though it wasn’t exactly a positive response. The single “No.” made his stomach drop to his feet.

It took him a moment, but he forced himself to continue texting him, continue acting like normal with the determination to not give up until Jeff agreed. When it became clear that Jeff wasn’t going to do so, Chip had to give him an ultimatum.

Come to me, or I’ll come to you.

And he would too. After seeing Jeff and making his decision to fix everything, he was not giving up again. He’d do whatever it took. Although, admitting he was solely responsible was tough. He didn’t fully agree with it, but if it made Jeff at least get here, he could worry about that later.


End file.
